flashman181

Better squeeze in one more before I jet off to far away lands. Consider it my Valentines Gift to all my secret (to the point of not even existing?) admirers. Passage of time is an interesting phenomenon. With 2 weeks to go until Seattlandia it seems like an age. Then you realise, hey I will be away for 2 weeks too. Yay. And then the time starts to fly and you realise, damn two weeks isnt a long time. A fortnight though ? Well that is different

The highlight of the fortnight was early birthday celebrations last weekend with CLP. Highlight for her of course that is 🙂 First a quick visit to Woomby to see some offspring that aren’t Asher Keddie and then whisked off to a secret location.

A secret no more. The Emporium at Fortitude Valley is a great hotel in a great location and really the Teneriffe area is becoming a firm fave . A quick unpack and off to a lovely massage and then a couple of beers at Green Beacon as you do. Back to hotel and up to rooftop pool to cool off and look at the beautiful people hog the 3 deckchairs. To be fair its a small roof. Probably a foreunner of our cruise next year. Apart from the beautiful people – it will be walkers at 10 paces methinks. Then off to a simply superb meal at Gerards Bistro where I finally learnt what lamb sweetbreads are. After I had eaten them! It was a share plate setup which worked a treat and the service was excellent. Highly recommended if you dont mind it a bit pricey. Or someone else is paying 😉

After that it was back to reality with a thump. Maryhole, not so cleverly disguised as Hell on Earth, was hot and dry. Poor golf course was suffering big time which is a tad tragic just as I was entering a purple patch of form. Beats the usual brown patches of late. At least there is optional tee up which sadly doesnt help my putting but has assisted in speed control at least. Of course the race is on as to which “news” outlet can have the scariest headline combined with the prettiest graphic. There is some serious shit going on here with devastating bush fires in parts but cant help but feel , much like a fire bug, some editors get off on it.

It didnt take long but officially Trumped out. Cant even get excited about return of Oliver, J as there simply is nothing new after 3 weeks of this circus. Of much more concern locally is the rise of Pauline Hanson. One can only hope that the antics of Trump may alarm some one nation supporters but that is a big assumption given most of them wouldnt even know where USA was ! Much like with the Democrats though the poor performance of the other parties allow these one idea idiots to gain some traction. People were mildly awoken this week when Talkbull get stuck into Bill Curly but as PK would say ” Amateurs Madam Speaker “and then rattle off the Abuse alphabet without pause. The glory days of King Bonza Rides Again. When one sees Hanson in action one cant help think of his classic line “all tip, no iceberg”

Speaking of low intellect taking over this wide brown land no clearer evidence then the continued production of shows like Married at ….. sorry I refuse to even say it. This realisation by producers that there is no need for thoughtful and clever productions has now seeped into an area that Aussies use to do well – the short biopic miniseries. The rot started with Brock and now has festered with Hoges. An interesting story to be sure but just so cringeful – Hoges and Noeline in bed talking about his “violet crumble starting to melt ” ? Help. Once again size matters. Get Lawson to play Reacher and Cruise to play Hoges .Done. Hoges was a smallish guy which most class clowns are – they are not physically intimidating and that is part of their charm. I will watch it because there are some great memories but seriously the only part they seem to have nailed is the black guy who gets his jacket ripped by “this is a knife”. Still there is plenty of good TV around and after getting hooked on The Crown great to read second series will have Dexter playing JFK. Now if there is one guy that slip through a big city doing all sorts of fun stuff without getting seen it is Dexter.

The Founder was a surprisingly interesting yarn about the birth of McDonalds – boy didnt those brothers get screwed over. Edge of Seventeen was a great coming of age story as well

And so viewers when next our hero returns it will most likely be from the Qantas Club in Brisvegas in 10 days time. Seattlandia was bedded down a while ago so as usual last week has been spent dealing with next years holiday and trying to get head around how it is cheaper to fly return to USA on special then it is to fly one way – as you need to do when catching a cruise in San Fran. When one asks on a forum , or even an honest Travel Agent, you are told ” What is your problem ,book return and just dont show up for second leg. Its what I do ” You check out other carriers then Qantas and usually that one nagging problem – like a stopover in Auckland first. So ,against all my instincts that planning is put on hold for now and we may just have to …… wait for it…… fly by the seat of our pants! There are bigger issues at present

Like, which beanie sets off my eyes the best ?

And of course the mandatory pre cold holiday no shaving for 2 weeks period has begun. Thank Me cool pleasant conditions are predicted to continue next fortnight…….. Might have to get the Whipper Snipper onto those eyebrows mind you.

It was a week dominated of course by Buffoon Bob doing everything he said he would and the liberals jumping up and down. Now, dont get me wrong the guy is a dangerous asshat as is the crew he is assembling with him on iceberg watch. In fact in some cases they are more dangerous as some even know how politics works and how to get around the system as opposed to BB who just crashes through – even imaginary walls. Clearly the immigration ban is not well directed as indicated by many memes highlighting where the Terrorists active on US soil actually come from

Before we get too excited though lets acknowledge that Obama or Bush or Clinton did nothing against the Saudis either. It seems from afar that it is the sudden enactment of this order that has caused most chaos with dual citizens only aware on landing at destination. Its typical of his crash through philosophy. The other danger is the media jumping on everything and not reading the detail as highlighted by the nonsense with the Visa Waiver programme which had many news sources (quoting the same lone article) stating that any Aussie tourist travelling to USA from now on would first have to go to Canberra for a sit down interview. Pure nonsense but the masses bought it with the most common response being ” well who would want to go to America anyway, bunch of rednecks. Me and my sister/wife are perfectly happy herein Oztrayla” And this is why Pauline Hanson is still around

Now while his actions are deplorable can I also add I am sick and tired of the Hollywood folk using every awards stage as a pulpit and trying to outdo each other with their indignation and outrage. We get it we are with you . But she lost. And in part because of your celebrity support that does not sit well with Billy Bob from Bumfuck Idaho. In between all the headline grabbing news he has basically stated that he will never release his tax returns despite all the earlier promises? Follow up on that relentlessly ya gooses. Bill Maher is back and highlighted two very important issues for me on last weeks show. The future of USA is in the hands of any sane Republicans (the fix has to come from within) and Liberals need to stop apologising for everything

In happier news travel plans are moving apace. Seattlandia put to one one side briefly while I concentrate on “SS MoneyNow – A 3 week Cruise” and CLP fills in the blanks for “Between a Rock and a Soft Red“. The cruise is of course 12 months away but have been known to show a slight anal nature to planning and given our cabin number already locked in worth checking the pros and cons of said room. Now it would appear that your average cruiser is a fanatic of a particular brand. There already is a roll call for our cruise on one of the 3 forums I now follow. The Cunard line has a distinctly British flavour of course and it would appear that the general crowd are octogenarians who use to wear their fruit salad of medals from “The Big One” on their chest but now display their list of cruises in similar style in their “signature”. Seriously given the poor wifi reception on these cruises I am amazed these people can post of all – they hop off one cruise just to get on the next. After one day I have 3 firm friends and a maybe and could well be booked on a snorkeling half day trip in Bora Bora next year! I assume they switch their oxygen tanks for the scuba gear on board. The sight of scantily clad old Poms in the clear blue waters of Tahiti is keeping me awake at nights. They are of course very helpful to us noobies but I do feel I am almost entering a secret society but havent been given the special handshake yet. Can only assume there is probably quite a bit of shaking involved actually

As for our trip to the Red Centre and onto the Centre of Red much has been achieved for someone who still has a full time job. Uluru is of course a captive market and they dont miss you in the hip pocket region. The highlight should be the Field of Lights/Sunset Dinner/Pat a Camel first evening – as long as the camel is female. Should also see the Olgas and Kings Canyon (insert traditional owner’s name here if keeping you awake at nights) on way back to Alice before flying into Adelaide for the week long touring of the vine NSEW.

In the real world my day starts by getting up early and checking rain gauge. Sadly it cracked and broke 3 weeks ago so even if any rain would not know. Fair bet there wasnt any. Poor old golf course now has optional tee ups through the green 😦 Out to Woomby this weekend for the 3/4 trip – as in catch up with 4 of 6 grandkiddies before heading OS and explain to them that really Seattle and Portland are very dull and not worth bringing back any souvenirs for them. Then onto Brisbane for my surprise early birthday celebrations. I think the surprise will be if I actually make it to another birthday with all this brain activity of late. Luckily I found a liquid that can slow the brain down and back to normal

In TV land The Affair has finally finished Season 3 so can start my catch up so that afore mentioned addled brain can follow the complex twists, turns and timeshifts. In between the weekly shows like Gotham – which has really picked up of late – fill in the lonely hours

February dawns tomorrow of course which means getting closer to the Trifecta of Travel. Reminds me. Better make an appointment with Centrelink to explain how this is all possible for a reduntiree with no visible means of support.

Devoted followers , and even casual stalkers, would know of my love of travel and my desire to drink on many different continents. Even by my lofty standards the next 12 months are looking rather special

First up next month is Seattlandia or the Twin Cities of Quirk if you like. Portland and Seattle may not have great weather at that time of year but I asked Kellyanne Conway and she gave me some alternative facts so feel much better now and just packing thongs and shorts. Hmm, yeah ok maybe some footwear too. Like many of my ideas this was a spur of the moment idea as 2 yrs seemed too long between trips to USA and there was a 24 hr flight deal on. Honest. It may be a little different to previous trips with less “must see” attractions and the impact of weather but all travel is good especially in these stinker QLD summers. Mostly one massive pub crawl to be truthful but if get a clear day plenty to see in Seattle at least. Staying in a B&B mansion in Seattle which should be something a little different. As always did all my planning months ago so have put this trip to one side as start planning next. Basically, I find the planning of the trip most of the fun because after that you just have the long wait until you actually can go! As such it is nothing for me to get an idea in the morning, do up a 3 week spreadsheet with accommodation, flights and tours by afternoon tea and then decide to go somewhere else over evening drinkies. To be fair I do my best thinking over evening drinkies.

This is a solo trip of course. CLP and I still go OS together every 2-3 years and in between have a nice holiday in Aussieland. This year is Uluru and Adelaide for 2 weeks in early September. Basically gaze at big rock at sunrise, go back at sunset and gaze again and then spend $1000 to stay in any resort that doesnt involve pitching your own tent. A half day trip here and a half day trip there and pretty soon you have filled in another day. Maths eh. Then onto Adelaide and a week driving around the Epicurean Way visiting wineries etc. Well, mostly wineries to be fair but there is a vast selection in a relatively small area. Great time doing same thing in Hunter Valley this year and I always say see Australia first. Or at least after USA and Europe

Now a lot of this next 12 months planning hung on a rather biggish event in Feb 2018 when I officially become an old fart. Nothing like a well hung plan I say. A lot of thought went into where I would like to be on my 60 th birthday. First choice was “above ground”. After that the serious planning started and for at least 3-4 months it was a USA visit with drive from San Fran down the coast to San Diego and then onto Las Vegas. Plenty in between including even a visit to famed Pebble Beach. As the 12 months out approached we were getting close to looking at flights . And then last weekend happened. As I go to USA a lot it is an easy country to visit solo and not totally convinced sweetpea is as enamoured as moi but rather doing what I wanted as my birthday. So, slowly came round to thinking that as a couple we should go back to Europe and see Budapest, Cinque Terra and Lake Como for starters. Now, February is not the best time to visit Europe necessarily but what can one do. So was putting together a rough plan including ice skating on said Lake Como when decided to take a break for morning tea on Saturday. I played my game and CLP read her paper as we do. She said ” a few weeks on the 3 Queens sounds like fun” Hmm, certainly different I grant you but not sure I am that adventurous ! I then realised she was reading the Escape section and was referring to the 3 Cunard ocean liners. Whew! I have been on two liners in my life – once at 12 and again at 22. I had mentioned cruises a couple of times in our tenure together but rather clear CLP not a massive fan, at least of the P&O variety. It seems hob nobbing on the Cunard variety may appeal though 🙂 A quick look at itinerary indicated the dates didnt suit and really a bit long when one of us is still working he he. So put to one side with the possible thought of looking into something similar for her 60 th when I just happened to check one item. Cunard cruises in Feb 2018. Hmm, one leaves San Francisco on Feb 5th and arrives in Sydney on Feb 28th. Spooky. Its the Queen Elizabeth and on the way visits Honolulu , Tahiti, Moreea and New Zealand. Thats something different and also birthday and Valentines Day at sea – pampered twice in a fortnight! We looked at the sums – not cheap – but still doable. We wanted to find out prices of shore excursions and whether you could choose you own cabin so started a “dummy” booking process. We chose a cabin for fun (after a deal of research) and noted some already taken including the prize one on that deck. We looked at each other and both thought at same time – “well the best cabins go quickly, what do you reckon? Only a $600 deposit” Hit submit and the rest as they say is history.

So next year we are going on a 22 day cruise into the unknown. Literally. Some more research (apparently usually done before booking!) indicated a lot of extra costs and naturally many poor reviews as you expect from the general whining public. There were some great reviews too of course. It seems we could well be the youngest folk on the boat which is not necessarily a bad thing but pretty fair to say cruising has changed a lot in 35 years! We will let this settle in for a few days and do some more research – afterall only $600 in the hole at present. Of course , not a lot of planning to do now and cant even look at shore excursions until 100 days out. Our cabin has a private balcony and meals are in a dedicated dining room with casual times so that part is good. The prospect of being stuck in middle of the ocean with the great unwashed masses is always a concern and much more so now then 35 yrs ago! I suspect we would look at a Pearl Harbour tour ashore but the other ports will be mostly sit on the beach looking at the glorious water and work on suntan. Look for airfares to SF soon and will spend a few days there prior to cruise so accommodation needed but looking like a totally new experience awaits and all set up in under 24 hrs. Scary shit

I do have one bit of bad news though. Communication onboard seems either very limited or very expensive or both so devoted fans may be disappointed with lack of daily trip reports to enrich your dreary lives. In the meantime sit back and get ready for Seattlandia in a tick over a month. Or do what I do – go back and read the old ones:)

Life is good

All the sevens. And some ones. So, basically nothing special. Proceed

Another week of searing heat and dire forecasts. High Temperatures seems to be the one thing the bureau gets right occasionally and dont they just cream their jeans with their red and orange maps that literally self implode before your eyes. Mind you when they say 32 they mean 35 so who knows what a predicted 39 this weekend will actually be. Of course also another week closer to Seattlandia where everyone complains about the cold and snow. They want our weather, I want theirs and so it goes. Facebook welcomed me yesterday with cheery note “Good Morning David , enjoy the Sunshine today” Well no I wont actually because it loses its appeal on the 117 th straight day

Of course also means that D Day, as in The Donald, is almost upon us. As mentioned in other media commitments many struggling acts use the ‘will we wont we” scenario regarding the Inauguration piss up as a means of getting some easy publicity. Trust me, dont care and wont think any less of you either way because basically that would be impossible. Hollywood continues to act as if they can still reverse it while Trumpy thinks he is still campaigning. Surely Hil’s loss clearly showed how out of touch Hollywood is with most of America and yet they continue on with the self congratulatory moralising road show. Move on folks. Trumps first presser in a while was rather scary as in really thought by now he would start to act a bit precedential 🙂 Again with the hilarious props of unmarked manila folders. Pity the poor work experience student who has to file them later. “But none of the folders are marked?” “Doesnt matter stupid, they are empty anyway. By “filing” we mean the big blue bin outside”. It was like a campaign rally more than a press conference. Interesting times ahead. Still. Obama has more farewell gigs than John Farnham.

In sporting world suddenly Warner cant find his ass with both hands and as usual the much vaunted batting line up invariably finds themselves 4-40 because they all think the next guy coming in is really good. The BBL has been good as always. Luckily PGA golf has started up again and only fitting that after the Golden Globes we now get to see fit young multi-millionaires swanning around in Hawaii for two weeks. Luckily the real tournaments start soon but sadly the Oregon Open is not played next month. At least we can laugh at the multimillionaires sweating in the heat at the Tennis. The NRL was suffering under a lack of publicity so released the Kraken to stir up some news and they did not disappoint.

Shows are slowly returning in TV land which is both good and bad. Started up second half of latest Vikings season and it is rather good again after quite a lull. Never been a massive Always Sunny fan but have to say the first two episodes of season 12 were very good. Of course at this time of year TV takes a back seat as the Festivus miracle of Screener season descends. It was a slow trickle at first but now a steady flow #trump#goldenshower. Apparently you can download these somehow and watch them without going to the cinema? In this heat the cinema looks a better bet. Well at least after school starts up again. And Maryhole actually gets a cinema.

All in all a rather quiet week as happens with this heat. The energy levels are low while the AC is high. Its a period to get through and emerge the other side hoping that eternal optimism has not diminished. Seattlandia pretty well locked in now although hard to prebook too much given the general negative weather reports .Pubs have roofs – research done. At least dont have to worry about that here in Maryhole although well worth it for the shade factor

Otherwise

See what I did there? Yeah its been awhile but has been a busy time travelling and visiting and eating and drinking. To be fair I do the latter duo 12 months of the year – ironically often while writing this nonsense. Couldnt tell eh ?

Xmas was celebrated this year in Brisvegas in a decamped version of Flashman Inc Sunshine Coast HQ. Oddly, still woke up in a tent. CLP often scores gigs house sitting around this time of year but have requested in a future a pool must be included. Lovely Xmas spread as always and was lucky enough to have the Ferguson Matriach with us as well this time. Yes Mum, that white meat was turkey – got ya!

Of course Xmas is all about kiddies so having seen the cutie patooties @Beachmere before Xmas it was time to head out to Toowoomba on Boxing Day to see the Fab Four @Woomby. All are well and healthy which is great and young Ryan is progressing well.

Later in the week the three and two got together in Beachmere for some cousin fun. Hopefully much more time together to be spent in coming years

So, 2017 rolled around and it was a quite affair back at Maplehead. I did hear some rumblings around midnight but to be fair it could have just been my stomach. Of all the memes and images this one tickled my fancy with the catch phrase “Have a Blast”. Non Haematologists may miss the sheer brilliance of this but trust me its good

Lets start 2017 off with my pet peeve which shows no sign of diluting – certainly not through rain anytime soon! Yes its weather forecasters. I have come to accept their non repentant arrogance will never disappear but was especially galled by an article in the local rag stating that a meteorologist had debunked the theory a “dome” existed over Fraser Coast and get your umbrellas ready as more rain was on the way this week. The first thing of interest to note here was the said meeting with Meteorologist took place at an open air cafe despite his own prediction of rain that day. He was wearing a singlet, shorts and thongs with sunscreen on. Of some hope was the ridicule and scorn laid down on this clown by my fellow local sufferers via the comments section. For the latecomers to this issue let me explain my stance. Its a science isnt it? Its funded at least in part by Government ie us! As someone previously associated with the world of science in its many forms I know of no other science that could get it wrong so often and still exist let alone publish anything. Even the Flat Earth society laugh at them. Basically its as simple as this – if weather is as predictable as you appear to claim then get it right once a month; if it is not predictable beyond the next 23 minutes then stop giving long range predictions ya clowns.

In the land of sport I may just have to accept that Warner, D can bat. He is not just a slogger but actually a gifted player and the main reason Australia can bowl a side out twice despite a largely docile attack – we score our runs quickly. Renshaw is developing and Handscomb looks the goods but please just shut the fuck up about Lyon. He is average at best and eventually the batsman makes a mistake because he is sick and tired of hearing “Nice Gary” .The recording is actually edited. What Wade is really saying is “be Nice Gary if you actually spun one now and again” I never understood the connection to an AFL player with a different spelling anyway

TV land has been pretty quiet although some shows starting up again. Good time to watch some docos and specials. I especially like the Kennedy Centre Honours every year and can only imagine next year when Trump honours Duck Dynasty. Has been a quite couple of weeks with satirical shows taking a break and Trump having a largely free run to keep sprouting nonsense. Strange times ahead.

2016 will be remembered for a while as a year of many significant deaths of which it was mostly the celebrity ones that took up oxygen rather than someone like Dr Henderson who eradicated smallpox but somehow the Kardashians survived. The joke rolled around often is how is Keith Richards still alive . Just shows you that you just live your life day to day and whatever will be will be, que sera sera. OMG Doris is still alive isnt she?? In a daily feed chock full of a lot of self adulation and pointless commentaries it was always the simple images that struck me and none more so than this one. It is at times transfixing

Of course not all images are clever but rather just funny. Lets kick off 2017 with one that made me smile. Yes its true. A new year dawns and going to give this smiling caper a chance. Well at least until I see the next interview with a meterologist……

Yeah I am getting slack but to be fair it is because I am actually doing stuff. When it is not 37 in the shade. Very pleasant weather at present actually and I may have to break out a T Shirt soon and put the singlet away. Enjoy it while it lasts because Hell on Earth will return shortly no doubt

Main activity this last week has been the 6 pack visit. First up to Toowoomba to see Ratbags x 3 and Ryan x 1. 30 mins with ratbags tires me out so do that first then can sit in comfy chair and nurse Ryan for 30 mins and catch my breath.

Was staying in Brisbane on Friday night for CLP work party so a relatively short trip back down the range and relax at Stamford Plaza for a few hours. Should have been an even shorter trip down range but always is that one truck that is not happy to do 10 kph down range when it can overtake and do 15 kph! Seriously, there was molasses flowing down the hill that was rushing by me. Was moderately sensible at party sticking to only beer before a very pleasant river cat home. Once again, continue to be impressed by Brisbane these days as a happenin place especially around Riverside. Strange though that we were celebrating South Sydney Rabbitohs I thought

So woke up none the worse for wear and tucked into a rather substantial breakfast at Stamford before heading off to Beachmere to see the elves. There really seems to be a competitive market in Brisbane these days with hotels so if patient can usually get a breakfast and valet parking thrown in for free. Valet parking costs of $50 are another pet hate of mine. Also got to see Baylee who was your typical excitable lab puppy.

So it was a busy but very enjoyable couple of days and likely to be repeated around Xmas. Tis the time of year to be surrounded by joyous and excited children.

Other stuff happened I am sure but nothing spectacular springs to mind. I got to the end of Westworld because I said I would but like many critics, as opposed to the rabid online crowd, I was underwhelmed. And confused at times. The Missing Season 2 on the other hand was excellent. Many shows are signing off for the year which allows one to watch lesser known shows which occasionally end up being a pleasant surprise. And old movies. Did my Pretty in Pink/Some Kind of Wonderful obligatory December watch which just leaves National Lampoon Christmas Vacation and Love Actually to go this month. And even watched Magnificent Seven – the real one – with CLP for a wonderful Saturday arvo matinee like the good old days

Aussies find some cricket form which we all know is fleeting. Expect the Paki bowling attack to find them out especially if a facing new pink ball at night. Trump continues to make some scary choices for his cabinet but no surprises there. And Seattlandia is a touch over 2 months away.

Life is good

Only one event happened this week of any significance – the safe arrival of Grandchild Number 6, a production line with a strong male bias. As a youngun we were taught the importance of the 3Rs, which clearly did not focus on spelling as being helpful later in life. In 2016 it is Rheannon, Richard and Ryan. As stated in other media commitments I stand in awe of women in general and mothers in particular. When said mother is also your flesh and blood then it is that much more special. No gory details here as only mothers understand the combined pain and joy of childbirth while fathers just try and say the right things. Ryan will face some challenges early in life as many do but with strong loving parents and the support of family, friends and select groups it will get done. It is the age of technology so forewarned is forearmed I guess and it is onward and upward form here. Mum has not presented for any photos yet so stick with da boys for now 🙂 Grandad will start snapping tomorrow

Some other stuff happened. Apparently. As a youngun arrives it is perhaps no surprise that the old fools still have not learnt. With Armaggeddon Heat wave on way it was good to have Wednesday Golf breakup done and dusted yesterday. In fact very dusty. Normally I have a couple of shandies after golf and drive home like a responsible , if somewhat boring, citizen. Yesterday the shackles were off to wet baby’s head but also simply to relax with da boys over , well more than a couple. Duly picked up by nominated sober wife and then proceeded to play like a busted ass for most of the day. To be fair it was the return of the feared stroke round (“count em all sucker”)and when you lose your ball in a bunch of 1 tree and a single shrub on only the second hole , rehit and finally walk of with a 9 on a par 4 your mood dampens somewhat. It then becomes “the match” (ie winning schooner) that is all that matters and so did a bit for a few holes until come to the 8th and for some reason try the 225m carry over water from tee and to be fair only missed by about 5 m. Another triple. Back on track, down the 14th pull second shot to the left and it likely found the 1 foot wide only creek on the course and that was that fellas. NCR. Hoges held the team together and we duly won schooner bet. And then started a couple of rounds as you do. The rest is a blur. I got a lift home apparently. The point of interest for moi though is that I know a lot of folk who do this regularly and while I understand built in tolerance it does baffle a bit how they function in society. Needless to say, next week will be back to my usual 2 beers. Plus winning schooner of course. Its only Max and John afterall 🙂

The Aussies won the Who Cares fixture with pink ball and now the selectors are hailed as visionaries. One swallow does not make a summer but does make a girl popular. Most talk seems to be on how slow the new opener is and while not a big deal in itself one must take into account the pressure it may put on the other batsman. You dont have to hit every second ball for 4 son but you do need to rotate strike and get a single every 4 overs or something.

US politics rolls along with the antics of Buffoon Bob alarming some but surprising none. His twitter rants are still mildly amusing because he aint top dog yet but he wont change. As always as scary as he may be it is his appointment of some people to positions of power that really send the chills up the spine. Not sure whether it was his election or the passing of Mrs Brady that finally did old Fidel in. There are some things even a dictator cant live without. Thank Me for reruns

In TV land have to say very impressed with Chewing Gum on Netflix. Next up is Kick Ass. Boom tish. Its a bizarre comedy that is hard to describe but do yaself a favour. With all the buzz about Gilmore Girls returning went back to watch some of season 2 before I go into diabetic coma again. Its an easy watch but think one season a month is about my limit. Devoted fans know of my lecherous leanings towards Ms Fey but have to say she is rather quiet these days so good to have Ms Wiig step up to the plate. The beauty of youtube means I dont have to sit through a whole episode of SNL to get to the good bits. And when she is joined by that other goofball, well it is just magic

We had a few spits over the weekend and the grass shoots did spring up until beaten back down by the return of the heat. The pending heatwave approaching is really getting some forecasters in a lather – and it hasnt even started yet. While it could well have serious implications for bushfires etc you cant help but think some of them just love to have colorful maps to play with. And alarm at times. It will be hot and unpleasant as it always is this time of year. Maybe a degree or two hotter but what can you do ?

Drive to Woomby of course.

Yeah it has been a long week or a short gap – take your pick – but looking at my Facebook posts there have been a few things happening last couple of days that drew my attention. Speaking of FB lets all recognise NUD courtesy of Kimmel. Its National Unfriend Day for Facebook and really does make sense. Watching a lot more Kimmel these days and the examples of inane posts some people , well post I guess, is spot on if troubling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWwy-qfIJss

I especially liked the one about Lori the Mom. Not sure why…..

The other option of course would be a Festivus dinner but it is still only November. Speaking of Xmas in this global world of globality any chance Curb that you could release a “pretty pretty good Xmas” garment that wasnt a bloody jumper or sweater?? Not everyone has a white Xmas ya know. Another grioevance to add to the list.

Looking at Elaine in the clip above and “Two Face episode” (and how great is that every Seinfeld is now on Stan!) in general have to say the appearance of Hill the Dill at a public function this week was distracting to say the least. Kudos for fronting up but then she has always been a tough hombre. One should not dwell on her appearance of course as it says nothing about her as a person but it was a significant departure from the norm. One can only hope she gets the right booth next time she and Bill go to Tom’s in NYC

Trump appointments continue to alarm if not surprise. In a week when everything seems to have a tenuous link to Seinfeld it was disturbing to think that Bannon made a lot of his fortune from the success of one of your fave TV shows ever. Yada Yada Yada – Serenity Now! Speaking of Trump there is of course a new challenge every week and the latest one is #trumpiscoming whereupon when said words are spoken everyone drops what they are doing and runs screaming from the location. Rather than new challenges every week I think it is time to combine a couple as would be a lot more fun. Lets start with #mannequin and #trumpiscoming. Seems like a natural fit. These challenges do remind me in part of old WBSG conferences back in the early 80S when some of the gang like Milipore and Bacon would fall flat to the ground on first meeting. Ahead of their times. There may have been a key word involved but really those conferences were rough affairs and my memory is limited. Lucky I can still spell WBSG actually. Even cumudgeon Bill O’Reilly admitted this week that Obama was the coolest cat that ever occupied the House of White and reminded me of the number of musical events held there over the 8 years or indeed at the Kennedy Centre honouring a famous artist. Can you imagine Trump hosting a similar event ? After 3 months of duelling banjos the crowd wont turn up trust me.

In sporting world the SA team continue to look like prize gooses. Amal fronts a news conference with whole team to support Faf the Lolly Sucker and this “silly joke”. Steyn tweets that Aussies are soft and sore losers. Ok clowns sorry to introduce some facts into your privileged and ignorant life but the Aussies had nothing to do with the complaint , it was ICC driven. Guess who is CEO of ICC – South African Dave Richardson! Ya cant write this stuff. And for Anal Amal to suggest he has no idea how anyone could use a lolly to enhance swing is pathetic. You won it easily regardless of any ball tampering but you lost out big time in the brains department. Too many red frogs maybe ?

In actual good sporting news Roy and HG will return next year to Triple M with The Sporting Probe. Can never get enough of these guys

TV land hums along with many of the “big shows” coming to their mid season hiatus which allows for some lesser known to shine or wither on the vine. Of course some of the best shows ever will never get a second season because they dont rate well in Trumpland – no surprises. As mentioned previously watch a lot more Kimmel these days and enjoyed his interview with Billy Crystal who had nothing but nice things to say about recent tour of Aussie land where the audiences – including CLP – were great and well behaved. Kimmel of course may well have been playing the straight man card but expressed surprise that Aussies dont have open carry and voting is compulsory etc. Of course not long before the Yank fascination with our “deadly creatures” makes its appearance. With TV on the wane a tad always good to catch up with some old movies and this week was Lulu time warp week. Having sat through AB FAB 2016 and seeing Lulu looking rather excellent it was jolting to sit back the next night and watch To Sir With Love and realise she is 68! Neutron Bomb was always a gold standard for maintaining appearance as aging but Lulu blows her away amd makes her look like, well…. Hillary I guess 🙂 The movie is a firm fave and must surely hold the record for the number of times the same song is played throughout the movie in a variety of forms

Good weekend for watching sport on TV actually with Aussie Golf Open on and 3.5 Nations drawing to a close. And so will leave you with this last meme which made me laugh, mostly because it reminds me how pathetic Parra are these days

And so the world has not ended. Unless your name is Adam Voges of course – more later. Now the dust has settled it seems more and more apparent to me that Trump doesnt really want the Presidency and certainly did not understand the scope of the job or the restrictions it places on his life now. I think he expected to lose and whine a lot about it afterwards while using it all to promote his brand. He had billions of $ of publicity and basically charged everything else back to “his campaign” A simple sign not much will change , at least if they get away with it, was Ivanka Trump plugging her jewellery line in the 60 minute interview (later blamed on an intern of course). He really expects to employ the Von Crapp family in significant positions in the White House with full security clearance! Oh, and they can still run his empire. Doesnt want to live all the time in the White House. Imagine the chaos on 5th Ave when Buffoon Bob is staying “in for the night”. I suspect he has a sharp learning curve ahead so better hold onto his hat – or at least his hair. Now that Fox News have lost their golden (with a tinge of orange) goose time to start a little public spat between Kelly and O’Reilly to remain in the news 24/7. Got nothing against Kelly at all but she hardly seems worthy of a memoir unless she cured cancer or something when I wasnt looking. The transition looks as shambolic as expected and while many fear the President elect you may want to run the slide rule over his inner circle. And then run

Speaking of Shambolic – Aussie Cricket. Its got to the point where I simply dont care anymore let alone watch. There would be several millionaires in the team and yet only 4 guaranteed a spot next test. Over paid wankers. Mind you we are not the only fools. Our batsmen cant even find the pitch let alone the ball and still Faf da Goose feels the need to doctor the ball. Does he even understand what cameras see these days ? The 3.5 Nations is coming to predictable conclusion but dont be surprised if a totally different Kiwi outfit present on the weekend. You heard it here first folks. Aussie Golf Open starts today and Badds.Com still thinks he can be World Number 1. Talk about the power of prayer! Always a good event to watch though

In TV land the Shooter movie has been turned into a TV series – shock horror. It was an enjoyable movie so could work and why bother with original programming anyway. The UK show Paranoid ended up a disappointment but The Level was good. Sharon Horgans latest Divorce is not bad at all although THC is very one dimensional and SJP still looks like she got caught in a rainstorm and the mascara has run again. The writing is good though which is what counts. Designated Survivor and Madam Secretary take turns with “hot topic” week whether it be Muslims or Immigration as it was this week. I tell ya if Hill the Dill had done 10% of what Teabag achieves every week she would be President for Life. Samantha Bee will be the Jon Stewart for the Trump term and well worth a look. Sometimes you just want a few minutes of stupidity to brighten your day and none better than Billy on the Street. In small doses

In Couples Therapy land ya cant teach an old dog new tricks. Let alone common sense. At a party on Saturday night where the wine came by the case and it was free and even bought out to you. No driving involved so the shackles were off. I can tell you though that walking to the Rivercat late at night, getting on board and then not falling off until reached home did require some concentration. The night breeze did of course freshen one up so lets have a nightcap at Fridays Riverside ! When will one ever learn

It was the week of the Supermoon. Apparently. Many great memes fed off this apparent fascination but my fave was

It was also the week the weather bureau got it right for once in Maryhole. Couple of big storms , very localized at times and in Maryhole it was mostly Tinana that copped it including hail. Roll the tape

And finally it was the week that one of the better, and long lasting, impressions MAY have come to an end and also the passing of the great Leonard Cohen. Only fitting then to end with a great sign off to both

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XZu64okmw8

So that happened. Still in a state of stunned sadness really. The former emotion is easy to understand, the latter less so. At this stage impossible to adequately describe in a few words the emotions at present but as this saga has provided many laughs in last few months need to address it now so can move on to better and brighter things. Like curling up in a corner in the fetal position. The sadness is likely linked to the world we live in and the one my grandkids will grow up in. Its much more than the fact that someone like Trump can be elected President of USA as disturbing as that is. Its a world dominated by media and celebrity, racism and ignorance, misogyny and hatred. Its a world where a man charged with sexual assault (innocent until proven guilty)can seek refuge in an OS Embassy but still influence an election through selective release of personal data. He says he has no data on Trump. I suggest he hasnt looked very hard. Its a world where the most powerful man in the world doesnt have to release his tax records. I could go on but it is too depressing really. So lets look at some other issues that more annoy than depress!

Pollsters are right up there with weather forecasters when it comes to accuracy and indeed showing any remorse or regret for their incompetence. Now you may argue that , like weather forecasting, it is almost impossible to determine these things with any degree of accuracy. Too many variables. Fine, I get that. THAN FUCKING STOP DOING IT.You screwed up Brexit and now the US election. There were many WTF reactions to the result but in all that I think the Democrats and Clinton in particular escaped some blame that should be coming their way. Someone screwed up royally and relied too much on this amazing poll data. They took the rust belt for granted and it cost them the election. In my working life certainly meant a lot of people – dubbed “Golden Boys” – who were promoted beyond their capability but who were a protected species even when they got it horribly wrong. They were of course management suck ups but you have to think in the Democrats there are some people who should never run a campaign again and yet it is Clinton that will take the blame and that is fair in part. She has zero charisma and cant connect with average people. Except maybe Tim Kaine – the walking embodiment of average . Now VP may not be that important after the election but it is in the campaign and once he finished presenting his spanish harmonica recital 23 times there was nothing left. With Trump you needed the dull Pence to offset him. With Clinton you needed the exact opposite. Her fascination/reliance on celebrity played well on TV and in big cities but not in Bumfuck, Idaho. Say what you will about Trump – and I have – but his campaign out played Clinton at every turn. The final night was a classic example. Philly Cheese off with The Boss and Da Boss on stage before a rapturous crowd and next day she loses Pennsylvania. Its all in the detail and for every big city she carried with 15% of the vote Trump carried 10 counties each with 2% of vote. One thing where technology is great these days are the updated counts where they drill down to single booths etc. Fox news will be insufferable now while CNN seems fairly balanced if a little Democrat flavoured. I watched the CNN coverage and it was pretty good but there is always that one moment with them and this time it was at the end. Trump is giving his acceptance speech and CNN breaks into it to say that they can now declare that “Donald Trump has won this election. Now back to President Elect Trump giving his um…. .ah……. victory speech. Oh”

And the speech was pretty good as expected. Very early days. The one thing that stood out though was apparent shunning of Pence and one wonders what that relationship really is like. He thanked him almost as an afterthought after thanking everyone else including Billy Bush first! One wonders if Trump really wants the Presidency? I am sure he does not realise what it fully entails and many think he will be the face and Pence et al will run the country. You know, like with Cheney 🙂 One thing to remember is Republicans have control of both houses so no excuses Donald. Wall, Isis, Obamacare….. all in your power. Some of my Yank friends are Republican and say no need to worry about Trump as plenty of checks and balances in Congress to slow him down. I just hope these checks and balances have had a recent oil change and service! The Supreme Court should be a concern for many given it will now have a very conservative look for decades but you can only tell people so many times eh. As disturbing as this result is the one thing you dont want to happen now is for something to come out about Trump that precludes him from the Presidency. If you are a massive conspiracy theorist – and who isnt – this would be the final big play by Russkies or whoever to destabilise the country and send it into constitutional chaos.

There is a personal angst to all this too. Devoted followers know I love my trips to the USA . Its a country I love. This relies heavily on my Q Super continuing to perform well – HELP – and Trump not tightening the immigration laws against extremely handsome and intelligent visitors. I return in February next year for Seattlandia and one cant help but wonder if the country will have changed at all. Should be no Government shut downs at least!

In a night/day of many emotions expressed by many people Van Jones summed it best in a thoughtful and emotional response delivered while still in a state of shock