Archive for April, 2013

Masters 2013 – The Dark Shark Emerges

Posted: April 14, 2013 in Sport
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Roy and HG always referred to IBF as The Dark Shark – it was funny at the time but not totally valid. IBF was a nice guy who could putt. Until he went to la la land in his head. Adam Scott has always had a strong tie to Sharkie and is the first to admit his influence on him. He probably falls somewhere in between IBF and GWS in the personality stakes but like his mentor/hero he is the purest striker of a golf ball in his era who more often than not is let down by average putting. These guys dont get to where they are being bad putters but if you look for their weakness it is the flat stick

So we come to the 72nd hole in The Master 2013 and Scotty( hereafter TDS) faces a very similar putt that GWS did to win all the bikkies back in 87. And it was pissing down. The Masters winner always birdies the 16th – TDS and Angel both faced a similar putt on 16 – TDS missed, Angel holed. The engraver moved from A to An…Ok, back to 18 – so who looked away? Not me , its the car crash phenomenon, you cant look away. He holed it and deservedly went slightly beserk. He made the long walk up with every man and his dog cheering him and high-fiving him. Back in the mist the ever cool and always lovable Argentinian Angel played one of the best shots you will ever see to 3 feet for certain matching birdie. Adam was still on cloud 9 in scorer’s tent and the camera shows his head swivel up to the TV when he hears the roar. His jaw , and likely his bowels, must have dropped . And then the true story begins

Sinking one great putt may be considered a fluke by the cold-hearted. Now TDS had to emerge from the warm hut into the doom and gloom and refocus again. Golf is a game of inches – and we nay think the way that TDS’s ball stayed out of the water on 15 showed that. But everyone who plays golf knows it is the 3 inches between the ears that matter. Not only did TDS have to redo it all again but against the totally relaxed and unflappable Angel. Walking to the playoff tee someone in the crowd leans over and yells QUEENSLANDER – is it an omen?After good drives on 18 they both leave approach shots short and it comes down to chipping. Angel plays a pearler that almost goes in. The one thing you dont want to see at The Masters is someone lose the tournament – you want someone to win it with a great shot or putt. So when TDS nervously left his chip short he faced that demon length putt – and nailed it. Out to 10 and another great tee shot from TDS only to have Angel blow it past him almost with an iron. Angel is on the green in birdie range and then TDS plays one that finishes just that little bit closer. Angel turns around and gives him the thumbs up. Class. Ok these guys are multi-millionaires who dont really need the money but when was the last time you saw one of over paid NBA/Soccer/Cricket clowns show such grace under pressure?? Angel’s putt finishes within a bee’s dick and then The Moment arrives. Remember it has been pissing down for hours. Notoriously fast greens are now slower but how much slower? Like all of these greens on first view the putts look quite simple. Then they show a different camera angle and you realise that what appears flat is not even close to it. How do they remain upright, let alone putt on these. He putts, it drops, the crowd erupts – and the monkey jumps off the back of Australian Golf.

Make no mistake – this is huge and oh so critical to the Australian Sporting psyche. We are a proud sporting nation who has always punched above its weight but struggled in a couple of big events. You can cross The Masters of that ever dwindling list. Sharkie will be interviewed of course and he will say how happy he is for TDS and it will be true. What he wont say, but we all know, is that he would fork over 10 million and 2 wives for one green jacket.

Will TDS now win the remaining 3 majors this year and challenge The Golden Bear’s major record? No. He will probably miss the cut in one of his next 3 events. Golf is like that. It was an amazing leader board all day with 3 Aussies in the Top 5 most of the time. You have to think this was Leishman’s best chance whereas Day will likely challenge again. JD shot his load on the 17th when he went back a club without apparent discussion with caddy and dropped it into the bunker. With 2 superb bunker shots under his belt already he didnt have a third in the bag. And Tiger? Who cares. Regardless of the rule change the penalty incident on the 15th will stay with him and slightly tarnish an already dulled lustre in the eyes of the golfing world. He does have a hot girlfriend though. Lets face it, most of them do.

The final 9 holes of The Masters is the greatest sporting theater you will ever see. If you had to pick the winner as the last group entered Amen corner and you got it right 3 out of 10 you would be burned at the stake for being a witch. This year marks about the 30 th time I have watched at least part of it live – being a reduntiree does have certain advantages now:) While this year will now rank as the most memorable there is one dead certainty – I will be watching it again next year even if it is a 15 yr old Chinese boy playing in the final group with Ben Crane and he is 10 shots ahead.

If only to see TDS place the Green jacket on his shoulders.

Tradition + Class = Golf.

Monday Morning Coming Down

Posted: April 9, 2013 in TV
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No not the well known song Sunday Morning Coming Down as grumbled by KK but rather a catch cry of the wonderful world wide web that envelopes us

When I was a youngun in Brisvegas , as in school age young, Sunday night was the big TV night for the week because it was movie night on FTA TV. Of course in those days you also only had roast chicken once a month – spookily also on a Sunday. Sundays were something to look forward to for a number of reasons then. And lets not forget the great Sunday afternoon matinees. Good times.

These days we have to put up with reality nonsense like The Block or The Voice or The Vomit…….

But in the good old USA Sunday nights still rule. Now we have Game of Thrones, Vikings and Mad Men to savour. Next Sunday night they are even going to squeeze in a Good Wife episode, return of Nurse Jacki and Veep and even a Mentalist episode +/- a Red John appearance. But we live in Australia so Sunday nights equate to late Monday mornings when the goodies start to roll in

MM is simply a great show that needs your full attention for full reward. As my old mate Viggo said it is a show you need to deconstruct. The double episode worked a treat and was needed to complete this little intro to what promises to be an even better and even darker season

Vikings has been a revelation. It is what Spartacus should have and could have been. No needless blood splatter and front bums – just engaging story with realistic fights. And of course it is a fascinating mythology and period of history. Once I stop seeing Jax Teller as Ragnor I just sit back and let it flow over me.

Game of Thrones is an enigma to me. Recently rewatched last 4 episodes of Season 2 as Season 3 lead in and they were superb, better than I remembered. Ep 1 of Season 3 was good if not great but episode 2 was a tad dull – not enough Dinklage and no dragons. Now I seem to be in the minority here but I like me some dragons – the ultimate killing machines. I have not read the books but do struggle at times to follow the various characters and hence may enjoy more on a rewatch.

So with the big 3 ably supported by a stellar supporting list Mondays have got very busy. There is not much room left for anything else folks.

But this Monday is different, all other events pale into insignificance to the one must watch TV event of the year. And its live

Its the last 9 holes of The Masters folks. Best sporting event eva. Doesnt matter if Fred Funk is holding off Neville Nobody by 6 shots – you cant look away.

Do yourself a favour.

The First Trimester

Posted: April 5, 2013 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole
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Only seemed appropriate to compare reduntiring to pregnancy as in both diseases your stomach expands and your number of comfortable sexual positions decrease. So it has been three months since R day, do we have a report card if not a scan ?

The Good. Being old enough to access your Super but young enough to remember you had it enables one to clear debts which is a nice feeling. Debt free and income free dont quite match but its a start and allows one to sleep a solid 3 hours a night. After the debauchery that was the last few weeks of work leading into Xmas its good to report have actually lost some weight. This has not been due to nervous fretting but rather a concerted effort to reduce intake. It all comes down to portion size folks and if the CLP can put up with smaller meat portions these last 10 years then so can I for 3 months. Its not all that hard really although Easter loomed as a problem time. 6 weeks with no chocolate and then that bloody bunny rocks up with that smart ass grin on his face because he knows no one can resist chocolate when it comes in such small brightly wrapped innocent looking bundles. Plenty more time to spend with the grandkids too but that has had its “limitations”. Plenty of time to play golf but that has not been all smooth sailing either

The Bad. Budgets. When I want to go to Toowoomba to see Grandkids I have to factor in the cost of petrol. When I want to play golf more than once a week then that costs money too. You have to consider these things when there is no little rainbow pot of gold every 2 weeks. The day can be easily broken into two parts now – before 3pm and after 3pm. Somewhat frustratingly I still get up early and usually at gym by 0600 – for no reason whatsoever except my coffee place opens at 0630 and is few doors down from gym. I am a creature of habit and so still get up early go to gym most days, grab coffee on way home and then have leisurely breakfast whilst on computer. Then a few jobs around house etc while it is cool, some more puter time, a few shows, a cuppa and some lunch yada yada yada and before you know it is 3pm. Then you hit the wall. Too early for drinkies (apparently!) and most of the jobs are done. Maybe a bit of reading but that usually leads to headaches. Anyway eventually it gets to 430 pm and its time for some wine and crackers and a wind down on puter listening to some podcasts etc. You get through to 6 pm and then it is quite acceptable to have dinner given my advanced age. Then into the evening viewing and before you know it bedtime has rolled around. You probably know it better as 830 pm. Then it all starts again after a somewhat restless night

So, is it what was expected? No, not really. Golf has simply been disappointing for a number of reasons, not least being a body full of aches and pains. In a strange way though almost too relaxed at golf now to really try that hard anymore. A scoot around in a cart on a leisurely Wednesday afternoon is not quite the regimen I had envisaged and the handicap is heading in wrong direction. There are certainly times when it is hard to fill in the day. Most weekends are joyfully spent at The Ponderosa (Flashman Inc Sunshine Coast HQ) but the weekdays drag. Of late there has been a very strong wanderlust which is frustrating when coupled with a reduced income to enjoy such pleasures. So many shows I watch remind me of places I have been and want to return to – again and again. Maybe I should watch more reality TV! Nah, if it comes to that just shoot me.

At least Winter approaches (along with Game of Thrones, MM,BB….) and with it that long afternoon shortens a little. Of course it also dark now early in the morning. This eliminates that first look in the mirror which may be a blessing in disguise. There is a trip to Melboring in May to look forward too and even going to throw in a couple of days in Adelaide so that Maryhole seems exciting when we return. In the meantime , time rolls on.

Oh no. Its 3 pm

Crap.

The Weak Season Finale

Posted: April 3, 2013 in TV
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Shawn Ashmore, who has committed professional suicide by being associated with The Following, was asked about how a season finale should run. His response regarding the season finale for The Following…….. follows

“What I will say, without giving too much away, is people rarely love the finale. Sometimes shows end on such huge cliffhangers that it’s exciting because it pumps you up for the next season and I understand why they do that. But, sometimes there’s a sense that there’s no closure, no satisfaction about what happened in that season. The creative team really does a great job of not only tying up and giving some satisfaction, emotionally and character-wise, but also leaving it wide open for a second season. It’s a huge episode.”

Now The Following has a huge advantage because nearly every one wished that episode 1 was also the season finale – alas that has not happened but the bar is so low 43 mins of commercials would be a step up come finale time. This can not be said for The Walking Dead and certainly not for Justified which had their season finales this week. Probably not helped by return of GOT and my personal favourite Vikings being in full swing

TWD had a very good second season. My general loathing for all things Zombie related is well known by my loyal band of Followers (the non-psychotic version natch). Season 3 started in the prison and ended in the prison and that pretty well sums up the lack of progress in this yarn. They dont mind killing off some major characters which is definitely a plus but the story simply does not engage me anymore and I imagine that Season 4 premiere will sneak up on me without any warning…… like a zombie even……. and may wait for a season rewatch in 2016 if any good vibes abound

Now Justified is a different animal altogether. Has been a great season but someone seems to have blinked at the end and forgot it was the season finale. Of course I will watch Season 5 premiere tout suite but it will seem more like Season 4 Ep 14 I imagine. Of course I blame Zea. She bought across a The Following script by mistake! They appear to have no idea how to handle Patton Oswalt all season? The show has some good baddies but do think Goggin’s character and his interactions have not really evolved. They have never quite recovered from the loss of Mags Bennett but do like Win Duffy et al.

Its a rich vein of TV around at present with the imminent return of MM also so this finale disappointment will quickly pass but the weak season finale is becoming a common event as many show runners get on the Dexter bandwagon and just keep churning out the seasons

However, as women will always tell you, all the build up in the world means nothing if no satisfactory conclusion at the end which only leaves one unsated.

And unlikely to go back to the well again.