Archive for November, 2016

Only one event happened this week of any significance – the safe arrival of Grandchild Number 6, a production line with a strong male bias. As a youngun we were taught the importance of the 3Rs, which clearly did not focus on spelling as being helpful later in life. In 2016 it is Rheannon, Richard and Ryan. As stated in other media commitments I stand in awe of women in general and mothers in particular. When said mother is also your flesh and blood then it is that much more special. No gory details here as only mothers understand the combined pain and joy of childbirth while fathers just try and say the right things. Ryan will face some challenges early in life as many do but with strong loving parents and the support of family, friends and select groups it will get done. It is the age of technology so forewarned is forearmed I guess and it is onward and upward form here. Mum has not presented for any photos yet so stick with da boys for now 🙂 Grandad will start snapping tomorrow



Some other stuff happened. Apparently. As a youngun arrives it is perhaps no surprise that the old fools still have not learnt. With Armaggeddon Heat wave on way it was good to have Wednesday Golf breakup done and dusted yesterday. In fact very dusty. Normally I have a couple of shandies after golf and drive home like a responsible , if somewhat boring, citizen. Yesterday the shackles were off to wet baby’s head but also simply to relax with da boys over , well more than a couple. Duly picked up by nominated sober wife and then proceeded to play like a busted ass for most of the day. To be fair it was the return of the feared stroke round (“count em all sucker”)and when you lose your ball in a bunch of 1 tree and a single shrub on only the second hole , rehit and finally walk of with a 9 on a par 4 your mood dampens somewhat. It then becomes “the match” (ie winning schooner) that is all that matters and so did a bit for a few holes until come to the 8th and for some reason try the 225m carry over water from tee and to be fair only missed by about 5 m. Another triple. Back on track, down the 14th pull second shot to the left and it likely found the 1 foot wide only creek on the course and that was that fellas. NCR. Hoges held the team together and we duly won schooner bet. And then started a couple of rounds as you do. The rest is a blur. I got a lift home apparently. The point of interest for moi though is that I know a lot of folk who do this regularly and while I understand built in tolerance it does baffle a bit how they function in society. Needless to say, next week will be back to my usual 2 beers. Plus winning schooner of course. Its only Max and John afterall 🙂

The Aussies won the Who Cares fixture with pink ball and now the selectors are hailed as visionaries. One swallow does not make a summer but does make a girl popular. Most talk seems to be on how slow the new opener is and while not a big deal in itself one must take into account the pressure it may put on the other batsman. You dont have to hit every second ball for 4 son but you do need to rotate strike and get a single every 4 overs or something.

US politics rolls along with the antics of Buffoon Bob alarming some but surprising none. His twitter rants are still mildly amusing because he aint top dog yet but he wont change. As always as scary as he may be it is his appointment of some people to positions of power that really send the chills up the spine. Not sure whether it was his election or the passing of Mrs Brady that finally did old Fidel in. There are some things even a dictator cant live without. Thank Me for reruns

In TV land have to say very impressed with Chewing Gum on Netflix. Next up is Kick Ass. Boom tish. Its a bizarre comedy that is hard to describe but do yaself a favour. With all the buzz about Gilmore Girls returning went back to watch some of season 2 before I go into diabetic coma again. Its an easy watch but think one season a month is about my limit. Devoted fans know of my lecherous leanings towards Ms Fey but have to say she is rather quiet these days so good to have Ms Wiig step up to the plate. The beauty of youtube means I dont have to sit through a whole episode of SNL to get to the good bits. And when she is joined by that other goofball, well it is just magic

We had a few spits over the weekend and the grass shoots did spring up until beaten back down by the return of the heat. The pending heatwave approaching is really getting some forecasters in a lather – and it hasnt even started yet. While it could well have serious implications for bushfires etc you cant help but think some of them just love to have colorful maps to play with. And alarm at times. It will be hot and unpleasant as it always is this time of year. Maybe a degree or two hotter but what can you do ?

Drive to Woomby of course.

Yeah it has been a long week or a short gap – take your pick – but looking at my Facebook posts there have been a few things happening last couple of days that drew my attention. Speaking of FB lets all recognise NUD courtesy of Kimmel. Its National Unfriend Day for Facebook and really does make sense. Watching a lot more Kimmel these days and the examples of inane posts some people , well post I guess, is spot on if troubling.

I especially liked the one about Lori the Mom. Not sure why…..

The other option of course would be a Festivus dinner but it is still only November. Speaking of Xmas in this global world of globality any chance Curb that you could release a “pretty pretty good Xmas” garment that wasnt a bloody jumper or sweater?? Not everyone has a white Xmas ya know. Another grioevance to add to the list.

Looking at Elaine in the clip above and “Two Face episode” (and how great is that every Seinfeld is now on Stan!) in general have to say the appearance of Hill the Dill at a public function this week was distracting to say the least. Kudos for fronting up but then she has always been a tough hombre. One should not dwell on her appearance of course as it says nothing about her as a person but it was a significant departure from the norm. One can only hope she gets the right booth next time she and Bill go to Tom’s in NYC


Trump appointments continue to alarm if not surprise. In a week when everything seems to have a tenuous link to Seinfeld it was disturbing to think that Bannon made a lot of his fortune from the success of one of your fave TV shows ever. Yada Yada Yada – Serenity Now! Speaking of Trump there is of course a new challenge every week and the latest one is #trumpiscoming whereupon when said words are spoken everyone drops what they are doing and runs screaming from the location. Rather than new challenges every week I think it is time to combine a couple as would be a lot more fun. Lets start with #mannequin and #trumpiscoming. Seems like a natural fit. These challenges do remind me in part of old WBSG conferences back in the early 80S when some of the gang like Milipore and Bacon would fall flat to the ground on first meeting. Ahead of their times. There may have been a key word involved but really those conferences were rough affairs and my memory is limited. Lucky I can still spell WBSG actually. Even cumudgeon Bill O’Reilly admitted this week that Obama was the coolest cat that ever occupied the House of White and reminded me of the number of musical events held there over the 8 years or indeed at the Kennedy Centre honouring a famous artist. Can you imagine Trump hosting a similar event ? After 3 months of duelling banjos the crowd wont turn up trust me.

In sporting world the SA team continue to look like prize gooses. Amal fronts a news conference with whole team to support Faf the Lolly Sucker and this “silly joke”. Steyn tweets that Aussies are soft and sore losers. Ok clowns sorry to introduce some facts into your privileged and ignorant life but the Aussies had nothing to do with the complaint , it was ICC driven. Guess who is CEO of ICC – South African Dave Richardson! Ya cant write this stuff. And for Anal Amal to suggest he has no idea how anyone could use a lolly to enhance swing is pathetic. You won it easily regardless of any ball tampering but you lost out big time in the brains department. Too many red frogs maybe ?

In actual good sporting news Roy and HG will return next year to Triple M with The Sporting Probe. Can never get enough of these guys

TV land hums along with many of the “big shows” coming to their mid season hiatus which allows for some lesser known to shine or wither on the vine. Of course some of the best shows ever will never get a second season because they dont rate well in Trumpland – no surprises. As mentioned previously watch a lot more Kimmel these days and enjoyed his interview with Billy Crystal who had nothing but nice things to say about recent tour of Aussie land where the audiences – including CLP – were great and well behaved. Kimmel of course may well have been playing the straight man card but expressed surprise that Aussies dont have open carry and voting is compulsory etc. Of course not long before the Yank fascination with our “deadly creatures” makes its appearance. With TV on the wane a tad always good to catch up with some old movies and this week was Lulu time warp week. Having sat through AB FAB 2016 and seeing Lulu looking rather excellent it was jolting to sit back the next night and watch To Sir With Love and realise she is 68! Neutron Bomb was always a gold standard for maintaining appearance as aging but Lulu blows her away amd makes her look like, well…. Hillary I guess 🙂 The movie is a firm fave and must surely hold the record for the number of times the same song is played throughout the movie in a variety of forms

Good weekend for watching sport on TV actually with Aussie Golf Open on and 3.5 Nations drawing to a close. And so will leave you with this last meme which made me laugh, mostly because it reminds me how pathetic Parra are these days


And so the world has not ended. Unless your name is Adam Voges of course – more later. Now the dust has settled it seems more and more apparent to me that Trump doesnt really want the Presidency and certainly did not understand the scope of the job or the restrictions it places on his life now. I think he expected to lose and whine a lot about it afterwards while using it all to promote his brand. He had billions of $ of publicity and basically charged everything else back to “his campaign” A simple sign not much will change , at least if they get away with it, was Ivanka Trump plugging her jewellery line in the 60 minute interview (later blamed on an intern of course). He really expects to employ the Von Crapp family in significant positions in the White House with full security clearance! Oh, and they can still run his empire. Doesnt want to live all the time in the White House. Imagine the chaos on 5th Ave when Buffoon Bob is staying “in for the night”. I suspect he has a sharp learning curve ahead so better hold onto his hat – or at least his hair. Now that Fox News have lost their golden (with a tinge of orange) goose time to start a little public spat between Kelly and O’Reilly to remain in the news 24/7. Got nothing against Kelly at all but she hardly seems worthy of a memoir unless she cured cancer or something when I wasnt looking. The transition looks as shambolic as expected and while many fear the President elect you may want to run the slide rule over his inner circle. And then run

Speaking of Shambolic – Aussie Cricket. Its got to the point where I simply dont care anymore let alone watch. There would be several millionaires in the team and yet only 4 guaranteed a spot next test. Over paid wankers. Mind you we are not the only fools. Our batsmen cant even find the pitch let alone the ball and still Faf da Goose feels the need to doctor the ball. Does he even understand what cameras see these days ? The 3.5 Nations is coming to predictable conclusion but dont be surprised if a totally different Kiwi outfit present on the weekend. You heard it here first folks. Aussie Golf Open starts today and Badds.Com still thinks he can be World Number 1. Talk about the power of prayer! Always a good event to watch though

In TV land the Shooter movie has been turned into a TV series – shock horror. It was an enjoyable movie so could work and why bother with original programming anyway. The UK show Paranoid ended up a disappointment but The Level was good. Sharon Horgans latest Divorce is not bad at all although THC is very one dimensional and SJP still looks like she got caught in a rainstorm and the mascara has run again. The writing is good though which is what counts. Designated Survivor and Madam Secretary take turns with “hot topic” week whether it be Muslims or Immigration as it was this week. I tell ya if Hill the Dill had done 10% of what Teabag achieves every week she would be President for Life. Samantha Bee will be the Jon Stewart for the Trump term and well worth a look. Sometimes you just want a few minutes of stupidity to brighten your day and none better than Billy on the Street. In small doses

In Couples Therapy land ya cant teach an old dog new tricks. Let alone common sense. At a party on Saturday night where the wine came by the case and it was free and even bought out to you. No driving involved so the shackles were off. I can tell you though that walking to the Rivercat late at night, getting on board and then not falling off until reached home did require some concentration. The night breeze did of course freshen one up so lets have a nightcap at Fridays Riverside ! When will one ever learn


It was the week of the Supermoon. Apparently. Many great memes fed off this apparent fascination but my fave was


It was also the week the weather bureau got it right for once in Maryhole. Couple of big storms , very localized at times and in Maryhole it was mostly Tinana that copped it including hail. Roll the tape


And finally it was the week that one of the better, and long lasting, impressions MAY have come to an end and also the passing of the great Leonard Cohen. Only fitting then to end with a great sign off to both

Send in the Clowns

Posted: November 9, 2016 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

So that happened. Still in a state of stunned sadness really. The former emotion is easy to understand, the latter less so. At this stage impossible to adequately describe in a few words the emotions at present but as this saga has provided many laughs in last few months need to address it now so can move on to better and brighter things. Like curling up in a corner in the fetal position. The sadness is likely linked to the world we live in and the one my grandkids will grow up in. Its much more than the fact that someone like Trump can be elected President of USA as disturbing as that is. Its a world dominated by media and celebrity, racism and ignorance, misogyny and hatred. Its a world where a man charged with sexual assault (innocent until proven guilty)can seek refuge in an OS Embassy but still influence an election through selective release of personal data. He says he has no data on Trump. I suggest he hasnt looked very hard. Its a world where the most powerful man in the world doesnt have to release his tax records. I could go on but it is too depressing really. So lets look at some other issues that more annoy than depress!

Pollsters are right up there with weather forecasters when it comes to accuracy and indeed showing any remorse or regret for their incompetence. Now you may argue that , like weather forecasting, it is almost impossible to determine these things with any degree of accuracy. Too many variables. Fine, I get that. THAN FUCKING STOP DOING IT.You screwed up Brexit and now the US election. There were many WTF reactions to the result but in all that I think the Democrats and Clinton in particular escaped some blame that should be coming their way. Someone screwed up royally and relied too much on this amazing poll data. They took the rust belt for granted and it cost them the election. In my working life certainly meant a lot of people – dubbed “Golden Boys” – who were promoted beyond their capability but who were a protected species even when they got it horribly wrong. They were of course management suck ups but you have to think in the Democrats there are some people who should never run a campaign again and yet it is Clinton that will take the blame and that is fair in part. She has zero charisma and cant connect with average people. Except maybe Tim Kaine – the walking embodiment of average . Now VP may not be that important after the election but it is in the campaign and once he finished presenting his spanish harmonica recital 23 times there was nothing left. With Trump you needed the dull Pence to offset him. With Clinton you needed the exact opposite. Her fascination/reliance on celebrity played well on TV and in big cities but not in Bumfuck, Idaho. Say what you will about Trump – and I have – but his campaign out played Clinton at every turn. The final night was a classic example. Philly Cheese off with The Boss and Da Boss on stage before a rapturous crowd and next day she loses Pennsylvania. Its all in the detail and for every big city she carried with 15% of the vote Trump carried 10 counties each with 2% of vote. One thing where technology is great these days are the updated counts where they drill down to single booths etc. Fox news will be insufferable now while CNN seems fairly balanced if a little Democrat flavoured. I watched the CNN coverage and it was pretty good but there is always that one moment with them and this time it was at the end. Trump is giving his acceptance speech and CNN breaks into it to say that they can now declare that “Donald Trump has won this election. Now back to President Elect Trump giving his um…. .ah……. victory speech. Oh”

And the speech was pretty good as expected. Very early days. The one thing that stood out though was apparent shunning of Pence and one wonders what that relationship really is like. He thanked him almost as an afterthought after thanking everyone else including Billy Bush first! One wonders if Trump really wants the Presidency? I am sure he does not realise what it fully entails and many think he will be the face and Pence et al will run the country. You know, like with Cheney 🙂 One thing to remember is Republicans have control of both houses so no excuses Donald. Wall, Isis, Obamacare….. all in your power. Some of my Yank friends are Republican and say no need to worry about Trump as plenty of checks and balances in Congress to slow him down. I just hope these checks and balances have had a recent oil change and service! The Supreme Court should be a concern for many given it will now have a very conservative look for decades but you can only tell people so many times eh. As disturbing as this result is the one thing you dont want to happen now is for something to come out about Trump that precludes him from the Presidency. If you are a massive conspiracy theorist – and who isnt – this would be the final big play by Russkies or whoever to destabilise the country and send it into constitutional chaos.

There is a personal angst to all this too. Devoted followers know I love my trips to the USA . Its a country I love. This relies heavily on my Q Super continuing to perform well – HELP – and Trump not tightening the immigration laws against extremely handsome and intelligent visitors. I return in February next year for Seattlandia and one cant help but wonder if the country will have changed at all. Should be no Government shut downs at least!

In a night/day of many emotions expressed by many people Van Jones summed it best in a thoughtful and emotional response delivered while still in a state of shock

Went off early this week as who knows what the world will look like after Tuesday. Women will either be wearing pantsuits or protecting their privates. Men will be watching sports and drinking. Ok, not everything will change, fair call. Not much more to say really that hasnt already been said. If they dont know by now they never will. One amusing/annoying aspect of course is the short attention span of both the media and citizens to significant issues. Everyone is in a lather about the “emails” and yet Buffoon Bob will go to polls on Tuesday still with no tax return release! Kelly Bundy is a great example of your typical Trump voter supporter. Head can only hold so many facts until it has to lose one to take a new one on board

Mind you it isnt all one sided over there either . Obama has been doing the rounds and one generally expects a better behaved crowd at these shindigs even if the occasional protester breaks through the offensive front line in black suits and matching glasses. Doesnt take long then for the crowd to work into a misplaced frenzy that even the leader of the free world cant control. Or was it all staged? You decide

One thing for sure and certain is that the tightness of the race has sent the market into jitters already. If there is a silver lining it is that the Aussie $ could climb well against the US $ for any of you solo travellers out there. Of course in my case (also known as mild OCD ) I already have my US currency and so will simply have less Aussie $ to come home to anyway. Never been a glass half full type of person because in those situations my only question is “Ok which asshole took half my drink?”

Speaking of Kelly B, one is reminded of her affliction when one looks at our “Test” batting line up . I say “Test” that way because these clowns dont realise it is a 5 day affair. “Dont hook at the Waca” “Ok, I will forget I shouldnt slash outside off stump then. Done” . You can put them on a concrete road but if the ball moves a bee’s dick off line our boys are screwed. When Davie “Kaboom” Warner is the voice of reason in a team you know the world has turned upside down and yet we still remain on the bottom ? Interesting side fact. At Old Farts day the other week in Woomby there was a book fair and who knew Warner had released at least 5 books? I would have put money on the fact he hadnt read 5 books! Mind you he has nailed the Steve Smith likeness. It appears when he is not getting out LBW to men he is being caught behind by sheilas


In other sporting news is the world finally waking up to the fact that the QT man of league is not a messiah but just a naughty boy ? Expect 2017 to be a rough year for him media wise as his sheen has certainly dulled and only a premiership would gleam it up again. The World Series ( if the world was only the USA of course) baseball final was very good bordering on mesmerising. I found myself even understanding terms like “double play” which previously I assumed only referred to what happened after the game #lockeroomtalk#trump . Lets face it if BB wins next Tuesday next year they will be playing for the Trump Cup so enjoy it while it lasts

In TV land not a lot happened. Done with Youre the Worst after 3 seasons. I should be done with Blacklist but for some reason simply tune in each week to see how much sillier they can get. The bar is at record lows at present mind you. Paranoid is your typical solid UK drama with a complex plot and interesting obscure characters but with one major and jarring flaw. For some reason no Detectives over there ever carry a gun ergo baddies always get away. Russell Coight is apparently being resurrected. It was always a bit hit and miss for me but will be interesting to see if they “update” him. Judging by his efforts on Upper Middle Bogan I am suggesting Robbins does not have a vast range in the acting caper

November is here which means summer is in full blast. The weather folk will be alternating creaming their jeans over possible storms or possible bushfires. For Maryhole the only forecast we need is

And yep, nowhere to run. Let alone crawl.

Yeah getting later each week but played golf on a Tuesday this week and it has thrown me. Also had to wait for my review of Fashion on the Fields of course. No one won. Again.

So, its just over a week until the USA votes and Trump is still a chance. How is this possible? More Weiner trouble for a Clinton of course. Two decades apart. Really though even if there was an email digitally signed by Hilary stating that on Nov 9th she intended to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge it still shouldnt matter. Trump’s latest claim that 650 million people could be let in to USA the first week of a Clinton presidency is simply so ludicrous even when placed in a hat with all his other ridiculous claims. As said many times before I get that the 25-30% rusted on deplorables lap this up but that aint getting him extra votes. Another aspect that amazes me , having commented previously on his female surrogates , are that his two main male disciples are equally laughable despite some previous noteworthy contributions in life. Gingrich and Giuliani. Throw in Chris Christie and its Moe, Larry and Curly all over again. Compare that with Biden, Obamas x 2. Everywhere you look Clinton should be pulling 85%. But not in America and not with a Clinton.

Appropriately then it is Halloween. Having been instructed previously on the origin of Halloween given my distaste for the Aussie adoption I shant go down that path again. If people enjoy dressing up and going to neighbourhoods to mix with other so inclined so be it. Just dont knock on my door, assuming you got past the barbed wire and broken glass. In this weather it is not fair either to have to lock up place at 5pm and pretend you are not home:( Luckily already in PJs so no great impost. Now, bring back cracker night and I am in. Then there will be some neighbours jumping, trust me.

In the sporting world there was a massive event on yesterday. Yes Ferguson, Walker, Greathead and Morgan won all the choccies against a start studded field in the annual Melbourne Cup Ambrose Invitational World Cup Golfing Extravaganza in Maryhole. It was organised by the Vets so there were more carts than in the parking lot at Woolies but us 4 brave walkers did it tough on a dry, firm track. Sadly, I did a fetlock and had to be put down at day’s end. Or at least carried down the stairs, lumbered with trophies. Starting to think I putt better on sand greens and thinking of moving to somewhere with them permanently – like Thargomindah. At least it gets more rain than Maryhole. Seriously, all joking aside, I am sick to death of the constant lack of rain here couple by the continual “unbridled enthusiasm” (copyright Billy Mumphrey) that our clown forecasters keep posting storm warnings with. Its 2016, factor in some “historical data” ya gooses. In the meantime I shall remain a cock eyed optimist

In other sporting news some test cricket starts soonish, somewhere in this wide brown land. Seriously that is the level of my interest at present. I will watch the first hour of a new Test series on home soil although if in Perth as I suspect it could impact on my nanna nap. Cricket now is more of a highlights package viewing experience for moi and none more interesting than this little snippet overnight. Interesting fact – this cricketer has never been given out LBW. Everytime he gets hit on leg he asks for a review and is always given not out on snicko evidence assuming it hit bat first. Ya with me ? Of interest, he never tours India. The crowd of 3 went wild.

In TV land Quarry wrapped up an impressive first season after a slight mid season lull. Best new series of the year for me. Many of course would give that gong to Westworld and that is ok but as said in other media commitments ( BBC News of the World etc) I cannot follow this series which I think is trying to be deliberately complex to appease the nerds and not going to waste precious remaining brain cells trying to. Alcohol consumption features heavily in my near and distant future. One series that could lead me to drink even more is The FALL. Its another one of those shows with its moody, slow burning atmospherics that please some but simply bore me. Long dull one on one conversations and Gillian A’s sultry constipated look combined with long wistful stares into nothing does nothing for me and she is definitely an X file for me in the spank bank these days. Season 3 was even worse than 1 and 2 (why watch it then ? – good question Your Honour) with a simply ridiculous conclusion

Another reason for a late note this week was a lovely weekend spent in Toowoomba with several of the clan. Started with Old Farts day at TACAPS for Will and Pat, a school Fete and then the baby shower for Ranny – or more specifically a pre wetting of baby’s head with Richard. Didnt quite all go to plan but a great few days all round






November already which means just over a month for bub to arrive, about 2 months to Xmas and under 4 months to Seattlandia! Two of those events are very exciting

Later dudes