flashman181

Well, there was a prelude after all. Noise level at hotel was ok but a shocking soft bed and pillow combo did not help with sleep. Woke up (for the last time that night ) to an overcast morning so went for a walk on the lovely beach nearby and then stopped for breakfast at Cafe Pippis. Naturally did not go for the ” house speciality”, much preferring worms

About 200 k drive this morning to Broadbeach so no need to rush off except that it is my nature of course. Have to allow for roadwork after all . And the stretch from Yamba to Ballina is a dogs breakfast with mix of roadwork and small towns to drive through. After that smooth sailing and onto Neptune Resort a little early just after midday. Now we had concerns about the location of this resort on the highway across road from Pacific Fair but were assured at time of booking we had room 703 at the back. Instead we see 509 on the sheet and ask where that is ” Straight above Sir looking out at Pacific Fair” Apart from that fact this is hardly a selling point, what happened to our booking at the back of resort as requested . ” Cant guarantee exact room sir, look at fine print on your receipt” That would be the receipt we get ONLY AFTER we have paid for room?? Assclown. The whining did get us a $25 breakky voucher for tomorrow 😉 . Can’t teach an old dog new tricks folks

As expected can hear traffic from room , just have to wait and see how disturbing at night. Sushi for lunch followed by quick trip to pool to at least have the heated spa to ourselves. Quite pleasant. Starting to cloud over though with some rain forecast. Later in day headed to beach for a walk as weather started to look a bit dodgy. Of course this meant one had to find shelter from rain and what better place than those drinking establishments with roofs

Rain through the night and slept ok even though can clearly hear the traffic noise. Also surprising given the excitement awaiting today, our last full day. Yes a shopping trip to Pacific Fair!

Stat, get me the Guiness Book of Records toll free number. I bought new luggage and a milk frother and CLP bought 2 donuts! I even left her there to go wild by herself while I settled now in for the hard grind. Barely had the trakkies on when she was at the door! I assumed her shopping was being trucked over later. Time to hit the spa then…. Now where are my board shorts that I left out on verandah in high wind while shopping? Hmm we may never know it seems . More shopping? Nah. Let’s go commando

It’s ok I wore some boxer shorts , don’t report me. So then we watch the absolute cert older Campbell sister bomb in pool before heading out to lunch and one last beer. Until the next one I guess. Relax for a couple of hours, last walk on the beach, try one of our bottles of bubbles we picked up with some cheese on verandah ( overlooking Pacific Fair remember!) and then a take away pizza for dinner to round out the two weeks of decadent debauchery of doubling caloric intake. Hey you can can be sensible in Maryhole after all. Speaking of which, back to Nambour in morning and onto Maryhole that afternoon

Which only leave one image to close out the deal and kinda pull it all together even for the thickos

Oops wrong one. Ok so we headed out for a walk on beach and pick up pizza for dinner . Then we walked into a Gin Joint and I saw the Shiraz Gin ….

Let’s try again

And it’s Goodnight from him

Nice early start to long drive today and after 30 mins hit our first roadworks. Yada Yada Yada 7 hrs later we hit Yamba. Now roadworks are necessary I understand this but don’t really understand the extent of the roadworks being done all together . As in , a good 5 k of roadworks so down to single lane on Pacific Highway and 40-60 kph. Then 1 k further on, another similar 5 k stretch. Its a massive job and the results are great but of course roadworks bring out my two pet hates . The asshole that does 10 k under speed limit in single lane traffic then does 10 k over at every overtaking lane. Secondly , the roadworks slow down sign that stretches for some distance despite no evidence of any roadwork being done past, present or future ! Someone left the signs up for fun?? Strong police presence in NSW too with at least 6 instances of flashing lights having drivers pulled over and that doesn’t count the mobile and fixed cameras. We stopped once to siphon the Python and get an angioplasty. The lady said to us when we ordered our TCTS at Coffee Club Timbuktoo that not many people realise toasted sandwiches come with chips . Well have you thought of advertising that fact ya cloth eared twat ?

Arrived in Yamba mid afternoon on a simply glorious day. In keeping with the Olympic theme our Sat Nav had us arriving at 2:30 pm and like in the swimming pool finals this was our world record yellow line which we sometimes fell behind due to roadwork. In the end we smashed it by 3 mins! Now I have to pee in a cup . The Great Wall dual cab in front of us was pulled up for a random drug test as it should be of course . Accomodation looks fine but you never know with hotels and people next to and above.

So a quick unpack and then up to the pub and lighthouse – in that exact order natch. The pub has a great view but really should have a covered open verandah if not for NSW girly men rather than all glassed in.

The Lighthouse is like me – old, nonfunctional but still erect . Beautiful views of course and even saw a hint of a whale tail . Or a very big bream. The most pleasing thing though was it was back to Shorts weather !

CLP decided to walk down to beach so I went back to pub. Luckily I found the perfect way to get home later

Eventually she came back and found me sitting with all my new friends

A slight detour on way home to take in the small beach area and wonderful vista. Even had time for a few laps in the recreated Rio Memorial Diving Pool

After an hour chilling out it was time to head back out for dinner and we had chosen Fusion on the Hill with great views and an odd mix of Tapas, Indian and day old KFC. The views were great and well worth the walk up the hill – especially when we arrived in time for Happy Hour and $10 cocktails

It was a long day but worth the effort to visit Yamba which seems like a charming little seaside town. Off to Gold Coast tomorrow for wind down and last 2 nights

Now we just have to get all this wine home safe and sound

Today had two aims , well 3 if you count not getting full as a state school hat rack again. Discover the legend that is Cockfighters Ghost and then enjoy a last meal at Shakey Tables. But first we needed to find a laundromat as clothes were starting to stand up by themselves. Off to Cessnock down the road and dropped several days worth off at an obliging coin op and said we would be back in an hour – no starch in the undies thanks. So, while we waited we drove back to Cafe Enzo for a very nice coffee and generally mixed with the rich and not yet famous

Back to Cessnock to get our clean gear before starting the day proper in quest of more wine . First stop was First Creek. Spooky shit eh. Very obliging Cellar Door as always and ran the table from white to red as usual. Still a bit seedy from yesterday so may have to pot the brown soon if ya get my drift. Then onto Brokenwood and by now we knew the routine. Semillion is the grape in Hunter Valley and 2014 was a wonderful year

Time for a quick bite at Tuk Tuk Burgers for a simple steak sandwich. Perfect light folder before back on the road to Cockfighters Ghost Cellar door. Apparently the horse, Cockfighter , bravely carried the man across the swollen river in the area but died in the process. But his ghost lives on. Neigh, I didnt buy it either . A couple of bottles to even out the weight in the car but by now we were getting to the end of our desire for tasting

A quick trip to Matilda Bay Brewhouse on way home and I was done and dusted

Time to relax for a few hours and wonder how the hell we are going to pack all this wine in the car once we have to take our luggage as well! Luckily my general easy going nature and optimistic outlook on life will find a solution. Damn, I even have the T Shirt

Shakey Tables was excellent as expected. Great food , fond memories

And so we bid farewell to The Hunter and just have one last question. In the last 4 days in the area we have seen a lot of Alpaca Farms so my question is –

When is best time of year to plant Alpacas ?

Today dawned a bit foggy just for a change . Have not checked weather outside yet! Today is a full day on a chauffeured tour which should be good as can finally relax and have a drink at last . Staying sober this last week has not been easy . Given the cast of thousands we may not get to choose a winery to visit but still have tomorrow up our sleeves to visit ones we miss today. It could be a very quick 8 hrs or a very long one. Watch this space . And then read the next bit of course .It all unfolds at 0930 . Much like my waist at present in jeans . Trakkies were designed for Wine Country methinks

Ok, so someone can’t count and pretty sure not me. Despite only 1 spot left on tour we only had 6 people on tour which was a good number . Waiting 5 mins for last lass to appear from hotel lobby with more make up on then Bozo the Clown was a concern but she was fine. In fact the other 4 were only doing the morning half of the tour which left us to our own devices all afternoon which was great but equally it can be good to mix occasionally with like minded people .

First stop was Mistletoe Winery just up the road from Cameltoe apparently but less easy to see from the road they tell me. This is the type of wonderful small winery you would likely miss without a tour. Some great art on site as well and CLP made a friend who talked even less than me but had same rugged good looks.

The wines were good and the prices great , a hard combo to beat . A bit of a leisurely drive around area before returning to the Home Depot of Two Fat Blokes which luckily was next to another winery – de Iuliis. Try saying that 3 times quickly after a few sherberts. This was location for our wine and cheese matching experience. One is dry and one is wet is what I gleaned.

Next stop was the very picturesque Audrey Wilkinson Winery up in the hills. Great views and yet another excellent wine tasting even if the lady mixed up the Chardonay and Semillion straight off the bat . Sad actually as thought we had finally found a Chardy that wasn’t like Cardboardy. We then bid farewell to the pikers and sat down with our lunch like Jack and Jill atop the hill. Hope I don’t come tumbling down

BJ , our very helpful and knowledgeable sober driver , had to return the other 4 to their campsite so we had time to roam the estate and even had a meaningful chat to old Audrey himself although he did seem a tad aloof and stand offish.

Down the hill and around the bend we stumbled onto Gundog Estate which was next door to the Usher Tinkler winery we visited day before. Great range again and had place to ourselves apart from a very well behaved dog. I swear he didn’t bark or move the whole time we were there. I just had to go up and pat him as the poor bugger was freezing given his colour

Now with only two on board we were motoring and so onto last winery for our Chocolate and Wine matching experience at Glandore Winery. One is wet and one is soft is what I gleaned. It was a great experience though and the lady had come in especially just for us as power had been off all day. Once again we were impressed with the friendly and welcoming nature of all cellar doors we visited and in an impressive day already this may well have been the highlight. Another winery you would likely drive straight past by yourself

Finally then it was onto Hunter Beer Co for our final stop which was probably just as well as was starting to see 4 Fat Blokes . An interesting presentation first on the local process before trying the three included sample beers . I made the mistake of asking a few too many questions it seems as before I knew it there were about 5 beers in front of me and the Wobbly Boot was well and truly affixed.

All that was left now was to find my way to the car . It was black from memory.
I got home, uploaded some photos and fell asleep in front of TV watching Olympics at 7 pm

To be fair that could happen being totally sober .

A fantastic day all round and glad to have the photos to remember it , or at least parts of it ……

Good nights sleep in the quiet bush land and first appointment was at Peterson House for a Champagne Breakfast as you do at 0900 after Church of course . Good value really and then onto Cellar Door as there may be no more open on a Sunday. Very helpful staff and so the tasting and buying began . This was mainly bubbles so CLP was happy. At least now I know what that looks like. Ow!

As it was going to be a loooooooong day the plan was to not drink every hour but rather find something boring to do for an hour while my liver did its magic. Gardens you say? Sounds perfect . By now it was a glorious day bordering on unpleasantly warm but the leather jacket made me look cool so it wasn’t going anywhere. At $28 ea entry was not cheap to Hunter Valley Gardens – that equated to a beer and a cheeky bottle of Red after all – but the Storytime area itself was worth the admission. Great for kids of all ages , even 58

The Gardens themselves were also impressive. Apparently . It’s grass and rocks, deal with it

We had our eye on the Live Music from 11 am to 3 pm at The Oyster Bar back at Peterson House so decided to start back there as face was feeling normal ergo alcohol content was ok. Now the prawns and oysters along with a beer were great but there was a distinct lack of music, live or dead even at 12:30pm. Not that I was particularly bothered as the beer and prawns were music to my ears

Now it was time to get serious about some tasting so in no particular order except this exact one we visited Hungerford Hill, Mount Pleasant, Tinklers, Usher Tinklers . Have to say all Cellar Doors were very welcoming . And here is photographic evidence

We had a great Spanish Chatcurie and Cheese platter at Usher Tinkler to soak up the alcohol but not sure it worked.

By now it was time for a good beer or 3 to cleanse the palate or at least clean the teeth. What better place than the Tunnel of Beer at Garden Cellars you may ask?

“Yeah sorry mate we don’t do beer tasting anymore ” so not so much a TUNNEL OF BEER as an extremely clean cheese shop #MontyPython#Wensleydale. What is one to do when it appears all hope is lost? Let’s try Hope Estate with on site Brewery. Yay, the good old beer on a paddle caper including one of 11.5%. Colour me red and call me Chauncey. The rest of the day is a blur, CLP drove home

Tomorrow we have Two Fat Blokes full day Hunters and Gatherers Tour. At this rate it could be extended to Three Fat Blokes. 36 hrs ago we checked availability for tomorrow’s tour and still 12 spots available on our 14 max tour. Knob kiss ! Checked just now – 1 😦 Much like the River Cave tour which was full we will be mixing with the great unwashed up close and likely a group of 11 that all booked together . Oh please let it be a hens party gathering or similar because nothing more enjoyable than a gaggle of giggling Sheilas getting louder and more pissed by the hour .

In a confined coach

Could lead a man to drink

Final morning in Blue Mountains dawned blue and booteful of course. Had one last crack at Echo Point before heading off and though still some cloud was well worth the slight detour

It was a good 3 hour drive under gray skies now to Hunter Valley but roads were good and traffic relatively light . Arrived at Buffs in Pokolbin and quickly unpacked while quickly noticing the drop off in accomodations from Bethany. Still it was in a quiet location and we didn’t come here for the luxury but rather the location

As we had made good time decided to go to Emersons Restaurant at Adina Winery for lunch and not disappointed. Very busy but service was excellent and the food superb. Did a quick cellar door but heart wasn’t in it let alone my liver.

Our cabin is in bush land and quite isolated so picked up a few small supplies for dinner but will likely eat out most meals. Hope to start tomorrow with a Champagne breakfast down the road and around the bend at Peterson House. We may not leave as they also have an Oyster Bar in the afternoon. In between there could be some imbibing because as Split Enz would say

And not just my cheeks in the mirror

Come on it’s been 4 days in a sea of fog and mist , you had to expect it surely. Today is last full day in Blue Mountains and I see where the name comes from. The weather can be depressing indeed. In fact for the 3rd morning in a row

However being the optimistic person I am we were going to Scenic World today and were lining up at 9:01 regardless. Sadly I could not see the entry point in the fog but eventually found an open door. We signed up for the “all you can ride but don’t eat the food” deal . There is a railway, a cable car and a thing that floats in the clouds apparently. We were just glad to find the fence at this point

The one advantage of being a rugged individual up for anything is you avoid crowds so straight to Scenic Railway and see if breakfast comes up as we go down. It is a steep descent trust me. Then onto a rainforest walk and our first of many sightings of Katoomba Falls. Then the Cable Car back up before jumping on the Skyway to go across a large gap between two mountains where if you looked real hard you could see the person in front of you.

It was time for a cup of coffee and plan what cloud formation we wanted to see next but in a flash of brilliance we decided to go down under the cloud cover and do the rainforest walk the long way . Good walk and as luck would have it came across some owl that had been hand reared and walking a round the walkway.

Back up in the cable car and the hostess assured us the cloud could clear in about 2 hrs. Of course she was wrong!

It cleared in about 30 mins and there was dancing in the street. It was still a bit patchy but if you timed it right got some glorious photos.Of course by now the mob had descended including many school groups. Now I have nothing against school children – I was one myself for 3 yrs – but really they are called school children for a reason and they should stay there ! Can’t they watch a video of rainforests or something?

There are only so many photos you can take of The Three Sisters and I stopped counting at 47 so time to leave and as weather still ok we thought we would try out Sublime Point for a different view . I usually find most women look best from behind anyway especially in a group of three . It was great viewing area and could see in both directions far and wide

Back home then before heading out a bit later to continue the Leura Garage saga. We know it is a great place to eat but have failed last two attempts . On first night we were going to just ” have one beer at Alexandra Hotel and then back for dinner ” The rest of that night is still a fog indeed. Last night we rocked up only to be told ” it was a wine tasting evening and closed to public” . Third time is the charm but think we may just have one beer in the Alexandra first as it is a 15 minute walk. Watch this space….but first a nice cuppa

Yay we made it

Oops wrong turn. That’s better. Excellent meal as expected but the service was poor and ambience affected by all the young kids squawking . To be fair eating at 6 pm can bring kiddies into play but no excuse for service. Water never refilled, plates not cleared until main course bought out and it dawned on them and then had to ask 3 times for the glass of wine we had ordered . Good food only goes so far, would not return

Bethany Manor was a lovely place to stay at but it was a pity about the weather which apart from anything else made driving taxing and tiring. We enjoyed our time though and it would be simply glorious on a clear day. But then you have the crowds to deal with. You travel in winter and these things happen.

Off to Hunter Valley tomorrow. No idea what you do there

Inclement weather. Well 2 words actually. Yep Old Whiskers was throwing us a curve ball and not happy Jan. After walking/stumbling home last night under clear skies a person could reasonably expect that ” the change ” had passed through. Nope, same misty weather pattern and BOM looks like a Pro Hart early work when he only played with blue and yellow! Our host said ” we do need the rain” Hey Pal, do you need guests? I feel a song coming on – along with arthritic pain. Spin it up Clunk and Play Misty for Me

We have our Jenolan Cave tour booked today and like Pubs , Caves have roofs. We chose the River Cave tour which is kinda spooky as we may need to cross one to get there. It’s a bit of a dicey road in so have allowed plenty of time to get there which likely means some time filling before tour actually starts . By all accounts there are the Caves and a one-legged Kangaroo as only attractions in area. The drive down was as expected with last 9 k simply ridiculous. Have no idea how buses get down there and don’t want to find out . Arrived in plenty of time so had quick look around complex

We chose the River Cave tour as looked interesting and also limited to about 25 people and kids unlikely . The Lucas Cave tour starts at same time but more likely to attract up to 60 people. Yep our tour had 25 of course while the Lucas Cave had about 12 ! Our guide was the typical friendly guy with his jokes older than the caves themselves . There were some great sights indeed but a bit like with mountains after you have seen a few not a lot of difference. Also tricky with camera as it was like a night at The Ponderosa on Sunshine Coast – Flash was on and off all day . Ya with me ? So after a long and at times strenuous 2 hours happy to get out but always that one clown that wants to ask a couple of questions .

Lucky on road back as nothing coming down hill but the rain was back of course . However we decided in light mist to check out Govett’s Leap on way back and it was quite impressive

So a fairly taxing, but rewarding, day. Now we just wait for weather tomorrow to see if worth going to Scenic World