Aussie Sport – What went wrong ?

Posted: August 20, 2016 in Sport

We lost. Goodbye.Turn off the lights

So, a few years ago Queenie with the Corgis complained of an anus horribilis. At least you can get a cream for that. We have just had one fuckedup fortnight #flashmanoriginal which could take years to fix if ever. So what went wrong ? Everything

When the Bronte sisters (#royhg) failed in the pool it was disappointing for sure as they were close to gold medal certs as Bolt was in the 4 x 100 – given he did have to rely on 3 other nobodies for certainty. BTW in other media commitments I suggested that any athlete who wants to know what real pressure is should try being one of those 3 in that race! Even N Korea would say you did what to those guys that lost ??? Man that is brutal. Take a chill pill dudes. And a reefer . Anyhoo….

One “disaster” followed another and as each one happened more pressure was exerted on the next “favourites”. Enter the self imploding Boomers! In previous years we have come close in this caper but usually faulted at end as one may reasonably expect with NBL players trying to step up. Like Brisbane Roar appearing at the World Cup. But we had 5 NBA players in this group, several with NBA finals winning experience! The cyclists have been hopeless whether on track or in velodrome. In between, some lesser known athletes have done very well and at times brilliantly

Now you could think well it is the Olympics, only comes around every 4 years. We are still a great sporting nation. Some people like to show that we will still win more medals per person in Australia than USA for example. Whoopie Doo. Half those clowns are voting for Trump – if they ever get near a sporting event it would be a first. Or a Nascar event of course. What about our other sports? Glad you asked

Wallabies were flogged – really no point in even crossing the Tasman in a couple of weeks. Save us all the pain. Have the Bledisloe Cup permanently mounted in middle of Auckland Harbour. Our cricketers cant win a chook raffle in the sub continent – even with John the Bookie onside. We use to rule the world in Rugby League – now we struggle against the sheep herders. Individual sports? Tennis – bunch of overpaid egos and dummy spitters. Golfers – not bad to be fair but then it is a unique sport where just about every player “chokes” at some point so lets not single out our boys. Except Sharkie of course

Many factors at play methinks. Good point made this morning by someone else – we use to dominate Tennis and Swimming when they were outdoor sports predominantly and our weather enabled us to train more and longer year round. Now they are mostly all indoors and even Iceland can train all year round! The intrusion of media cant be understated – both social and other forms. Our losers have to climb out of the pool and then read off the lines from 100 Polite Ways to Lose to a microphone shoved in their face. At this rate we are down to number 97 – my dog ate my speedos, honest . The reason is two fold – to be such highly paid amateurs relies on massive sponsorship and secondly several are always eyeing off a career in media after they have finished being losers in the sporting world. Note – in an abysmal effort by Channel 7 for these games a few commentators stood out and none better than the two at Swimming. Aussies have a laid back nature in general and of course we sell this as a central theme of our much sought after national identity. Sadly it only works in the backstroke for swimmers!

Our sporting stars are paid too much too soon as is clearly evident with Tomic the Tanker. He wins about 35% of matches and is a multi millionaire. Imagine in my old job of saving humanity in general and lives in particular. A 35% success rate would have you out on the street living under a bridge rather quickly. Our cricketers are way overpaid of course and yet still after so many years cant hit a spinning ball? Doesnt matter will be back in Big Bash next summer making another million for 4 overs of whacking. Which is about 3 overs more than what they probably do in the dressing room afterwards. Our NRL heroes are now full time wankers so have too much time and money on their hands and a limited IQ often to address these Twin Towers of Temptation. Can we finally agree that the QT man is the same as every other NRL coach and not some wonderful “man manager” ? Jimmy the Jet needs to take off somewhere else.

Now most of this doesnt really matter because this is still the greatest country in the world to live in. Period. Pity our media is the same as everywhere else in the world

Lets just not sugarcoat what has been a very poor performance across the board by well paid and often pampered sporting “heroes”. In the never ending discussion about the “cop” problem in USA some critics argue that while the job may be tough it is one they choose to do for whatever reason. That is a bit harsh in my view but does have a certain validity. I wouldnt want to get up at 4am in the morning and dive in the pool so choose not to although have passed by a couple on way home from pub in younger days. Those that choose to do know that for a small % there can be rich rewards ahead and a guaranteed “successful life” . Its a choice they make

Or maybe they just dont want to dig roads or sit in an office all day ?

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