Middle of July and Winter is Here. Unless of course you were trying to stream GOT premiere on Foxtel Go πŸ˜‰ Foxtel were devastated. Until they looked at their new subscriptions and realised they would be ok. Claim the interest was “unprecedented” and totally unpredictable because there was no hype around the “event” . Now, devoted fans would know of my ability to gain an audience by a well thought out “status update” on the perilous state of the world. I assume they know of course because there is never any actual discussion entered into. That is of course until you dare to suggest that the hype around the GOT premiere was a tad over the top and suddenly they come out of the woodwork. People I thought were dead suddenly rise up like well ….. a White Walker I guess to smack me down to dare suggest that their lives may not have changed forever upon this unveiling. Now this is a great show indeed with simply some of the best action scenes you will ever see spread out over their first 6 seasons. And spread out it is because there is a bit of padding in between which of course is fair enough and mostly needed. All previous seasons have been a slow build until the penultimate episode usually so with only half a season basically this year it is a fair assumption that it may not get real tasty for about 5-6 weeks and then finish on a real cliffhanger which will leave us all looking like

It has of course been a mild winter so far. July does mean its time to gather for the annual “Della Xmas in July” at Canungra. Try saying that 3 times quickly after a few sherberts. The forecast was “bone chilling” @ 3 degrees in morning so packed the fur lined thongs. I should have taken some footwear too. Mind you when I limped in and saw Bruce sitting in chair in shorts and T-shirt twanging a guitar and singing ( I think?) “Put another log on the fire” I knew it wouldnt matter. It was toasty 24/7. Speaking of which it was a reduced gathering so were relying on “other suppliers” for the imbibing stuff to toast health and wealth with. Of course I always find with drinking if the company is great that is all that matters ergo we had a great time. Until someone popped the champagne and almost took out CLP’s eye . (That one will cost me)

SOO dominated the sporting landscape of course and have already enthralled you with my views on that. The Blues Blamegame has been fun to watch in the following days leading into that fun time filler game “Who will coach the Blues next year” ?. The NRL premiership seems like a game of 3 – Storm, Sharks and Roosters – but all depends on injuries over coming weeks. Apparently Wimbledon was on – I only know because of my smartphone app “What is Kate wearing today” alerted me and I saw some grass and white lines in the background. At first I thought it was Josh Dugans verandah……

Mum turned 91 so that is a fair feat. I may never catch her at this rate . She is so old in fact they didnt even have colour photography back then

Yesterday my life flashed before my eyes. But first some backfill as the Bishop said to the actress. As a reduntiree my tax, and life in general, is rather simple. I pay some and I get it back and its all very easy on the My Gov website. This year was slightly different as apparently there is a limit to how much Super you can drag down without paying tax on it and my limit was “10 months ago ya clown”. This then bought up a new term in my calculated refund so put in a quick call to ATO 2.5 weeks ago ( remember that date folks) just to check. As always the 24/7 help line is thwarted if you enquire about anything more complex than what is my TFN? I was promised a return call within 48 hrs though. Ok I can wait just to be sure. 72 hrs passed and I figured stuff it what could go wrong and anyway horizontal stripes are “thinning” and black and white my two fave colours. Duly uploaded and got assessed and refunded 10 days later. Quickly went online and splurged on EBay for a Pauline Hanson signed Drone (surely a marketing dream not yet realised?)and sat by the letterbox. Yesterday – still following?- my phone rang and it was the ATO. Gulp! “Hello Sir How are you today” ? ” Still out of jail, how are you”? “Fine , Sir , just giving you the promised callback about the Q Super lump sum tax” ? ” No mate she is sweet I was mistaken, no problems at all. Sorry I have another call to take” ” Well you have a nice day Sir” Well I will now !

Its not all peaches and cream in Maryhole though. Shocking news this week with Sexie Coffee to close down next month! What is a man to do for that 6 am caffeine hit via the drive through while still in PJs? Get out of the car and speak to people ??? Not only that, it is actually the best coffee in town. Research will be required but I am a man of routine and this has thrown a spanner in the works .

Hey wait a minute – can I claim that spanner on my tax ?


SOO 3 2017 – How Sweet it Is

Posted: July 13, 2017 in Sport

If one play best sums up the night it was when Maloney tried to repeat Cronk’s brilliant flat cross field kick. Straight into Alfie’s mitts who caught it one handed! It says so much about the dominance of Qld last night and the ineptitude of the Blues to follow any plan. Much was said about the lack of hate between the two and never more evident then with the speech by Cordner at the end and his interruption of Loz at presser. Like Coach Daley he is a class act. But that is not enough at this level. You can be all class off the field and all terrier on the field – just ask Smith. I suspect Daley will sadly go the way of the dinosaur and be gone. Like Lewis he deserves a better coaching record but sometimes it simply does not translate so you are left only with their brilliance on the field as their legacy. Not a bad thing. I did wonder with Qld dynasty of players slowly approaching the end and the prospect of a solid bunch of NSW players likely to stay together for next 5 years whether Gus would be tempted again. He is not stupid and was never coming in mid dynasty but would suggest he saw the crop of new emerging talent from Qld last night and may well think this nightmare may never end! While eyelash boy – Smith, C – was deserved MOM has there ever been a more assured debut than that of Herman’s second born Cameron? Sure Eddie gets all the press but only because of a slightly more ridiculous haircut. It was clear that the Melbourne spine would be useful and it was obviously the platform for everything. Smith the schemer, Cronk the Conductor, Munster the X Factor and Billy popping up everywhere like zits on a 16yr olds face. One negative – why is Glasby in the team? He is slow and ineffectual, dont care what his stats may say.

It is always interesting to watch the replay the next day when all emotion is removed but you get a much more balanced and analytical view. It is also good to listen to old pre game podcasts which I am always trying to catch up on with my hectic lifestyle. The recurring theme that was keeping the experts warm at night was that NSW was clearly the better team for 3 halves of the first two matches. They had a glitch in the last 20 mins but that would be fixed because they were returning to Kingscliff like in Game 1 and then onto Suncorp where they had been so successful before. They also factored in no JT but didnt seem to take into account that this was a different QLD team to Game 1 and that JT was largely an inspirational passenger in Game 2, amazing final kick not withstanding. Blind Freddy ( as opposed to annoying Freddy on the sideline) can see that when under the pump they have no leadership structure to fall back on despite some of these players having many SOO games under the belt. They hate it when accused of lacking the passion of QLD but what else can it be when they simply cant go that last mile when needed. You learn most about QLD when they lose. When you see players chasing down everything with 2 mins to go and no chance to win. They cant win that match but they sure as hell can lose with dignity and know it will help them next time they get to the 77 th minute , winning or losing. The Blues are the strongest case you will see to disprove Darwins Theory of evolution – they simply can not adapt to a changing environment .

Slater 8.5 – always reliable and threatening
Holmes 8 – classy finisher who can be susceptible to high kicks
Chambers 8 – solid as always and has good combo with Gagai
Morgan 7 – not his best position maybe but can be relied on to impact at some point and wont let you down
Gagai 8 – very involved as usual and does a lot of bringing ball back
Munster 9 – one of the best debuts you will ever see. He is no JT but it will delay any wrist slitting for next 10 yrs
Cronk 7 – brilliant kick to set up try and then does what is needed without ever really standing out
McQuire 8.5 – bit of a tool clearly but consistently best forward on ground
Wallace 7 – better for run no doubt and can only improve
Gillett 7 – bit quiet maybe but only because he never plays a bad game so bar is set very high
Papali 6 – still doesnt float my boat. Seems to have the intensity usually only found in the Blues pack
Cooper 7 – defensive workhorse
Smith 9 – deserved MOM. Improved in each game and as if that is not enough he can kick almost as well as JT and certainly more aesthetically pleasing!
Napa 7 – solid again but well contained
Glasby 4 – dont like him. Period
Hess 5 – big wraps coming in, still to show it at this level
Hunt 2 – could well have been MOM if been on field for another 76 mins. 1 point for each ball handle as he didnt drop it #GF2015

NSW are not worth rating individually but rather state that Tedesco, Dugan, Morris, Cordner and Frizell can hold their heads up. Woods is the most overrated forward in the game while Fifita has the smallest heart it appears. Fine when things go his way but goes missing when the going gets tough. Dont get the Klemmer love – he runs straight and hard but the last time he passed anything was after 2l of prune juice. Graham seems to struggle at this level. With such an insipid forward pack its hard to lay into Pearce and Maloney but lets anyway…… Nah Junior cops enough and we still want him picked next year for Redemption 2018 – The Pearce Series

In summary, the main thought that emerged from Game 3 is rather than the rise of the next Dynasty being all dressed in blue it seems more and more likely that the Maroon dynasty is far from over and could even be a rather seamless transition

Which leaves only one question really.

Does Mrs Hunt even have to wash little Benny’s jersey ?

And as the financial year draws to an end it appears I have less finances than same time last year but have seen new places. Fair swap methinks. Of course also means we are in the middle of winter. Apparently. Of course the predicted rain for today in Maryhole did not eventuate but at least the cloud cover is keeping it warm for the cry babies who panic if it dares to hit single digits. I know where I would stick their single digit. Now you would have to be a Trump supporter not to know that a cold spell is on its way in every part of east coast but here this weekend and in keeping with same it brings up the fake news like the headline in Courier Mail yesterday that temperatures would “plummet to 13 degrees over night in Brisbane”! Seriously? In the good old days overnight temps of 13 meant it was September at last. Its similar on You Tube where every caption is something like “watch CNN DESTROY Trump supporter”

As hard as one may try and stay away it is almost impossible to ignore Trump at present. Sadly. Everytime you think it cant get weirder it does. Has there ever been anyone with less grasp of reality yet still supported by his enablers. He has achieved nothing except the lay down misΓ¨re of a Supreme Court pick yet is already fund raising for 2020! He complains incessantly of “fake news” yet has fake Time Cover stories plastered on the walls of his private golf club. His tweets continue to be those of an unhinged mind and just when you though Spicer was the biggest goose on the planet they roll out Huckabee Sanders to “explain”. I hate biased reporting from any side but really can anyone match Hannity for rabid dog behaviour? And of course there are cameras everywhere now clown – despite your wishes it aint 1950 still

Knocked off several great shows since last we spoke. Wentworth is a great Aussie drama and ended yet another superb season with a beauty. Leftovers was hard to follow at times but well worth the effort and Fargo is reliable as ever if a little “more of the same”. Better Call Saul is a brilliant example of the perfect prequel but is moving rather slowly it seems. Veep is running out of legs and at its best when Selina isnt on as most of her lines are simply frat boy banter. A good final episode at least. Am enjoying the Netflix show Glow. Foxtel Fools are giving away 3 weeks of free drama pack that expires on July 16. The day before GOT 7 returns πŸ™‚ Wentworth, Veep etc all finished . Its the dullest 3 weeks in the year!

As a weekend hacker – transplanted to Wednesday – it was especially pleasing to see Spieth struggle last week and still win. Seriously driving wise he couldnt land a paper plane in the Pacific Ocean and he was missing putts from 3 feet and not even hitting the hole. By the end he was deliberately aiming for bunkers so he wouldnt have to putt. Worked a treat πŸ™‚ The only talking point though this week is SOO 3 and who comes into Maroon team although there is one bigger question – does anyone actually like DCE? For me, I would keep Morgan on bench as better value there. Bring in Munster to centre and DCE to number 6. Does anyone really care all that much about the cricket pay dispute. Nope. Until Ashes rolls around and Glen Maxwell is captain

In Golden Triangle talk the triangle is getting bigger and a tad out of shape. Its early days still of course but these are the best days. Las Vegas just doesnt seem to grab despite a couple of flirtations over the years. Continually drawn back to the other side with prospect of reliving the wonderful winter of 2015. So while San Diego still appeals the lure of NYC and Boston is strong. Preferred accommodation is a big issue for us old farts and is getting harder and harder to get an “apartment” in many cities. NYC is basically impossible these days and one accepts that you can find a suitable hotel to lay down your head for a few nights as all the action is on the streets. I dropped a quick email to my old Boston lodgings from 2016 to see if thought still open in 2019 and he rang me back in 5 mins! This is the sort of service that makes one comfortable when visiting the land of Trump. As fly in and out of LA coming back to San Diego is not a deal breaker although direct flights from Boston are problematical. First world problems

At least there is always Facebook and their helpful messages like – “do you want to know what happens when you unfriend someone? “. Nope, pretty sure I can follow the concept. The only real benefit of Facebook these days really are the regular pictures of the 6 pack that appear as they continue to grow and explore the world. Nothing better of course then when they congregate as a herd πŸ™‚

SOO 2 – 2017

Posted: June 21, 2017 in Sport

As they say in the classics

Hard to imagine the Blues winning at Lang Park but a lot will depend on what team Qld can put out and in particular if JT can go around one more time. To be honest he was mostly a passenger during the game but is our lucky talisman and last time I checked you dont need two good shoulders to kick goals. Slater was superb in his return but perhaps the biggest thing to take away is that NSW can still crumble under the blowtorch. Their last attacking move was hopeless and that is when Pearce does not step up. Of interest to moi was the similarity to 2015 GF. Broncos got in front and tried to protect lead rather than trying to score and then a miracle pass from Morgan won it on the siren. Sound familiar folks? Of course, barring injury, Qld wont change now and so Papali can consider himself very lucky. Overweight and out of nick. The media south of border will bleet about refs of course. Some forward passes missed, clear shepherding of kick chasers etc. Not all one sided of course and there was the blatant taking out of Slater by Woods near the end right in front of the ref that went unpenalised! Swings and roundabouts folks

Slater 9 – always dangerous and adds spark and threat to any backline movement
Gagai – 9 – class again, great finisher
Chambers 8 – solid in attack and defense
Boyd 8 – did all that was asked
Holmes 7 – quality finisher too, lacks some size
JT 7 – injured clearly but his kicks made the difference
Cronk – 6 – quiet game really
McQuire 8 – hard worker
Gillett 8 – good at times , some solid defense
Papali 4 – no impact
Smith 8 – back to scheming best in second half, some defensive lapses still
Wallace – 6 – solid, middle certainly tighter
Morgan – 7 – made most of opportrunities
Cooper 6 – never really seemed to run with purpose
Napa – 7 – tried all night, not as much impact as at club level
Hess – 6 – will be better for the run, not much opportunity
Glasby – 6 – nervous start

And of course the money boys will be wrapped with a live match at Lang Park in July. Watch the prices skyrocket 😦

Yeah its been a while. Been busy enjoying the Qld “winter” experience while it lasts. Cool nights and glorious blue sky days. Heaven on earth. The prospect of an approaching EVENT have the darts all stiffening over at Weather INC but does seem to be mainly northern NSW and creeping into Gold Coast

Speaking of the dawn of a new era and creeps from NSW, Kevvie has thrown both of “da boys” in the wheelbarrow and fronted up to the media with a new look team for SOO 2. Of course NSW media couldnt resist the dig about the “loyalty” chant which of course shows their combined IQ has them limited to the front row in any team put on the park. Qld were loyal in game 1 and it cost us big time. The irony of NSW naming same team is not lost on this LBD but it is all swings and roundabouts. QLD had a great run on continuity over last decade and it was never going to last. Scott and Inglis going down early were first signs. 7 changes are a lot but at least 4 were easy peasy – ONeill, Myles, Lillyman and Guerra had to go. Oates was a good call because although he “looked” good in game one and made no mistakes he also provided no real penetration. Wallace is the inspired call because with suspension likely we can all cry “foul” and ” rigged” when he gets a week tonight πŸ™‚ Stirs up the supporters well. While I suspect NSW will still win in Sydney with Qld winning dead rubber to farewell JT, blooding some new blokes now will help in years to come. On the local front, no one likes to see a gifted player like Milf get injured but I for one think Broncs will do just fine with Benji there. Devoted followers know my view of Milf as one of the most overrated players pulling on the shorts and socks these days. In the meantime, here is hoping……

In TV land two media darlings – HOC and OITNB – have returned for season 5 and both show signs of maybe 4 was enough. Finished HOC and very predictable on one hand and unbelievable on the other but at least kept you engaged to a degree. If the Dark Knight tried to blackmail me so I could see season 5 of OINTB he would not get a brass razoo dear readers. Only 2 eps in and it is dull dull dull. Not sure will even finish this season but certainly wont be no binge watch. Not with shows like Fargo and BCS still going strong. For Caged Heat requirements always have Wentworth. Will save up the mind fark that Twin Peaks and American Gods will be for when suitably rested and heavily medicated

Online community is both a wonderful resource but also a place where assholes flourish in relative anonymity. I tend to peruse Trip Advisor for travel, Whirlpool for TV/Movies and LINE for in game chat. For every helpful tip on TA there is always an equally useless/sarcastic comment. Not sure what the criteria is for “TA destination expert” is but suggest it may involve ” must have left school at 15 and still living with parents at 30″ type scenario. Locked away in the attic busily spewing forth invective while baked beans are reheating. Interesting show a few years ago about how these so called “experts” had sent several businesses into bankruptcy with their reviews. Of course if you follow everything you read on TA then….

In the media world all opinions are subjective of course but the way some folk get so precious if you dare suggest that the latest season of “blockbuster” may have dipped a tad in the quality stakes is amazing. They seem to struggle with the concept that you can be critical of a show yet still watch it . If it was a new show that didnt engage in first few episodes then you would dump it but when a show like OITNB that was good at the start then you are going to keep watching it and hoping it picks up. Until that one whole bad season like with Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Didnt even come back for Season 3. The same will likely happen with OITNB Season 6. Then there are the in game forums which sadly are mostly an avenue for a sticker off contest to see who can post the cutest one combined with most inane comment. You come back after 24 hrs and the feed there are 120 messages with only one useful actual bit of info in there that you will never find. Usually have one game on the go until it gets to the point where will need a significant financial input to progress further. Rival Kingdoms was it so have walked away now. To Guardian Kingdoms πŸ™‚ Great little game initially which became very popular. So developers opened it up worldwide and the rich Asians have now joined and the game will have a finite life as soon becomes unplayable due to the number of “big” players with even bigger online accounts. Mind you I once spent $2.99 in Candy Crush but in my defense Your Horror , it was a bitch of level. Here is hoping level 2 is easier. In general people have been pissing me off this week in case you hadnt noticed

In holiday land β€œBetween a Rock and a Soft Red” is well bedded down with the occasional winery/foodie event added as time approaches. The Ireland Fling is at the stage where start looking at accommodation with only 2 real stipulations – must be open in February ( a bit of a deal breaker to be fair) and must provide complimentary umbrellas. That then leaves the fun part of planning USA 2019 – The Golden Triangle. This initial monica basically covers all USA trips in early stages as it involves drinking beer in 3 cities relatively close to each other πŸ™‚ Early faves for Feb 2019 are Los Angeles/San Diego/Las Vegas but heart not quite sold yet. One problem is at least two of these are predominantly “hotel” cities which is not my ideal choice for week long stays. In trying to recreate the glorious winter holiday of 2015 flirted with Chicago again but they now have a 17% lodging tax and basically conventions 10 months of the year and for the other two are under the polar ice cap. So likely will change over time and as it is the planning that is fun not a big issue. To be honest could really go back to New York in February every year and have a great time but not particularly adventurous eh. Probably need to start thinking more seriously a year out by which stage will be in Ireland drinking Guinness.

What could go wrong….

SOO 1 – 2017

Posted: May 31, 2017 in Sport

No great surprises of course except that is was so close until the 38 th minute. That try before half time was a killer in more ways than one. It showed how brittle the middle was much like the first try. As said in other media commitments once the Blues got on a roll they could score 40 pts – they are a confidence team. They now have enough players not scarred by the last 10 yrs. Getting rid of Gallen and Farrah has finally allowed them to move on

Now its not curtains yet for QLD but is time to be brutal and of course they wont be. Myles has to go for certain. He is old, slow and a dirty player. The new players looked ok until injured but it was the old heads that didnt really stand up in JTs absence. Ratings

Boyd 6 – solid but predictable
Gagai 8.5 – ran with purpose , looked dangerous
Chambers 7 – never got clean air behind a pack going nowhere
O’Neill 3 – carried his NRL form into SOO. What a shock Kevvie
Oates 7 – did nothing wrong and scored a good try but has no zip really
Milford 6 – much like Broncos form. Looked dangerous but never really did anything
Cronk 7 – solid but blunted without JT and usually kicking from deep within own territory
Napa 7 – promising until injured
Smith 7 – like Cronk, didnt have a bad game but never took control
McQuire 7 – tried hard but lacks penetration
Gillett 6 – quiet game by his standards
Myles 3 – old and slow. Gone
Papali 6 – looks overweight and out of nick. Bought his Canberra form yada yada yada
Bench – who cares all over by then

Fifita was the standout of course and is Beetson reincarnate. Tedesco always dangerous like Maloney. Morris very solid and Hayne showed touches of class as expected

Billy has to come back and hopefully JT as well. Hard to dump Oates I guess but I still would along with ONeill, Myles, Guerra, Lillyman. Bring in Billy and Holmes and move Gagai to centres and Boyd to wing. Bring in Hess and Wallace. Like with NSW time to blood these guys – like they did with Bird etc – now even though this year is gone.

Qld wont do it of course and this series will be a 3 nil wash. Next year wont be any better because you will bring in new guys then with no experience and JT will be gone. It wont be any 10 yr dynasty but I see NSW dominating for next 2-3 yrs and the NSW biased media will be unsufferable while the players themselves, and coach, will be fine and good luck to them. Lets hope you are good winners like QLD have been the last decade

If there is one thing that gets the old Isobar pointing north for the weather folk it is the prospect of an EVENT. Only has to be a prospect mind you and of course have to shoot your load a few days early so that no chance you are actually proven wrong – 7% accuracy record not withstanding – when nothing like what was predicted actually occurs. Then if you can direct some blood flow back to above the waist you need a name. It must have taken hours to come up with THE BIG WET unless of course they were referring to their bedsheets that morning when the clouds rolled in. As we go to print we are smack back in the middle of said EVENT and it has been a tad ordinary. Now if you actually can be bothered delving into the post you may see that for this actual area it was never going to be Armageddon but that doesnt stop the all encompassing screaming headlines in the local, very dry as it turns out, rag.

Mind you at least it is a break from the usual headlines of recent weeks demanding that a 10 lane tunnel be built stat between Tiaro and Maryborough. Now dont get me wrong, road accidents are tragic in so many ways but riddle me this. Yes there have been a lot of accidents in the last 6 weeks on this stretch but the road has not changed has it?? If it was as bad as you say 2 months ago, 6 months ago why are all these accidents happening now ? Just remember be careful what you wish for. It is of course always amusing to listen to non locals refer to “Tiaro” is so many different ways

There was one headline that had the fans gasping this week. “Flash strings two good rounds together

Now it is impossible to explain the impact of “slope” etc on the actual handicap you play with on that day to a non golfer but suffice to say it is low as my golf handicap has been from memory which these days runs as far back as April 2017! While good in one way not so good when it comes to the bets against the Burglars from Bamff that roam the course with alarming frequency

Last weekend was another Burbank gathering to celebrate the Della Patriach birthday. And just as I was starting to fit back into my clothes

Now Ant tried something different this time. Supposedly 3 bottles of 2008 Coonawarra Cab Savs to taste in a blind test. It worked. By the end I was blind. But not that blind to realise the 3rd one was actually water! Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice it must be a day ending in y

In sporting world there is an interesting contrast between cricket and NRL at present. The cricketers want to keep getting a share of revenue rather than a fixed wage and this is what the NRL players want to shift to. Seems to make sense to me – if pulling in more money surely the players deserve a slice of the pie. Conversely if they lose crowds/ratings their wages drop. What am I missing here? Showing photos of Bob Boom boy getting out of his Lamborghini is a cheap shot and missing the point. As I understand it the big names are trying to get a better deal for all levels of players including shield players. The fact that some are already obscenely overpaid is not the point. In other amusing news the QT man doesnt want to release Milford to SOO if he may just be a bench warmer. Would have to check history but wonder what similar processes he may have followed when he was SOO coach ? Speaking of SOO I suspect this is the year that the Blues start to dominate. Will largely depend on the first game of course but if they get a win early they could really go on with it for a few years. They are confidence players so if they lose the first again likely be in the foetal position in the change rooms after the game

In TV land have been watching 13 Reasons. Why? Not sure but it is engaging enough. Mind you there is so much to watch these days it is hard to fit it all in. Better Call Saul continues to enthrall even waiting week to week with the plebs. American Crime was dull dull dull so no surprise it was cancelled. Handmaids Tale continues to intrigue and would suggest Moss may have to fall off the edge of the world not to get the Emmy next time around. If only Pippa Middleton could drop off the planet. zzzzzzzzz

On that note there was an interesting article today from the makers of this show which was being shot during US Presidential elections and that how the dystopian future of Gilead was happening in real life! You become immune to a degree with the daily mistakes by Trump and just when you think he will pull back he doubles down. One can only see party revolt or impeachment in the near future and the prospect of the latter already sent some shivers through stock market. Not good for us reduntirees! Of all his stoopid statements this week – and there was a Melbourne Cup field – this one is best summed up below

So on that sombre note lets throw in a couple of T Shirts that bought a smile to my face. Yes it does happen and I have photographic evidence. Somewhere

When last we met it was April. Now it is May – this is how this monthly caper works. I wouldnt stay time is flying by but it is moving at a fair clip.

May of course is a significant month for moi for several reasons . It was a mere 15 yrs ago that CLP at last discovered her one true love. Scrapbooking. Now while scrapbooking she was throwing out photos pre 1980 and found some of her days in Maryhole and wondered what that clown in the corner sleeping was doing these days. As they say the rest is history and 15 yrs later we still see each other occasionally but exclusively. I think πŸ™‚ In fact I think we have spent a total of three and a half weeks actually together and this could be a pertinent fact to our longevity folks. CLP drove up to Maryhole – after checking she had up to date google maps installed – on Saturday and I went to golf thus keeping our quotient in tact. We did have a lovely morning drive down to Havery Bay the next morning though for a scrumptious breakfast at Dan & Step of MKR fame and a hobble along the beach. I call it Havery Bay now because when trying to check in on Facebook that is the first option it gave me and that tickled my fancy. Of course I was sitting in the sand at the time so that could also have tickled said region I guess.

May is also a busy month birthday wise for kidlets and kicked off with Jessica turning 4 on Saturday.Hopefully get out later in month to catch up with clan. In the meantime

It was supposed to be a big weekend for Rugby League. Some players decided to make it bigger. Now it is easy to think how dumb are these players but there is some science involved actually – although clearly not with Broomstick and Sideshow Bob ( has to be some great memes around surely?)

The science involved is that you recover much quicker from a snort than 12 schooners the night before ( given those two clowns had the 12 schooners first gives them a fail mark here of course ). Average workers understand the effect of 12 schooners the night before. The real issue of course is that the NRL is so weak on this and just do the talk but not the walk. These players can do anything for a first offense and are sweet and then pull your head in – unless you are Ben Barba. If they are serious give them a whack the first time and a lot of it will stop. There is also the Damian Keogh fiasco followed shortly by the young player at Cronulla which is a whole different issue.

In TV land Billions ended with enough tease to hook you back in easily next season. One of the top 3 shows on year in year out. Another strong contender would have to be Line of Duty which just finished Season 4. Certainly the best cop show on at present. For some reason I stayed with Last Man on Earth and was suitably rewarded with the appearance of Wiig. Whether it makes another season is debatable though. American Crime Season 3 is the weakest so far early on – hope it picks up. Veep is still very good if a tad uneven but certainly has some of the most memorable lines week in week out

In Holiday land all things are a bit quite on the western front. North, South and East too for that matter. Both holidays on the horizon are at the well planned stage so on back burner which can only mean one thing – time to plan next USA solo trip! Not helped by the fact that my Facebook feed is full of wonderful memories form 6 yrs ago

As winter approaches and the sun sleeps in devoted fans would know that at 5:59 am , if not out on Golf Course rearranging footprints, I head out on the highway to Sexie Coffee for my caffeine hit. I was a little concerned I was still half asleep when I noticed the speed limit signs this morning. Then I remembered this how we denote a 90 k zone here

Of course here in God’s country we all have our Get out of Jail Free card if pulled over

And finally your good old Uncle Flashy is always here to help and edumacate the masses. In keeping with this goal here is the much searched for instructional video on “How to lick Pussy” . You can thank me later

There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the colt from old Regret had got away,
Would he join the wild bush horses even if frost be on the ground,
And all the lips would be cracked that day ?
All the tried and noted forecasters from the stations near and far
Had mustered at the news station overnight,
For the clowns said nightly temps could fall to single digits
So Horsie went back to his stable “I aint going to be Frigit”
The End

It was a slow news week admittedly with only the spectre of WW3 hanging over our heads so it was natural that copy editors scrambled for worthwhile news. I believe in their contracts there is a clause requiring that at least 10% of all reporting is weather related and with the thrill of record heatwaves all but a distant memory they were panicking. Still difficult to justify the headline on Wednesday – you know the day after Anzac Day – in the local Fraser Coast Chronically Ill “What does the cold snap mean for the Fraser Coast” ? Hard to say which is more of a concern – the headline is considered news or that there were 347 comments and likes. For investigative purposes only I clicked on the link – and taken to a subscription page if I wanted to read the article! Ya cant write this stuff. Hey, I could be a news reporter too then πŸ˜‰

Speaking of Maryhole the Pub Fest is on tomorrow so Bogan Central on Dole Day suddenly expands city wide with many blow ins to make up the numbers. Use to be June Long Weekend and now punted to May Day weekend. In a few years it will be an extended lunch on Sunday August 3rd so get in quick and see if you cant get those weather updates of the front page by dressing up and making a fool of yourself hanging from a Mary Poppins statue with an umbrella back door adjacent.

Anzac Day continues to gain gravitas each year which is of course a great sign in this otherwise me me me society we live in. Me me me stayed in bed but my thoughts were with them – at least until Sexie Coffee opened at 6 am. I was able to listen to the live broadcast of the wreath laying ceremony and observe my minutes silence. Well 3 actually – not sure that new drive through system is working well fellas πŸ˜‰ Of course it wouldnt be Anzac Day without some “controversial statement” and Anthony Mundine was out of the country so passed on that baton. Good folk were suitably shocked and horrified and then we moved on. If I were to make the effort again sounds like the Elephant Rock ceremony at Currumbin would be the one to attend which would have a certain symmetry to it given all of the wonderful childhood memories associated with said place. Sadly Tony Abcess was there so lets address the elephant in the room. Oh, rocks cant talk? Ok lets move on.

In sporting land Broncs got rub of the green second week in a row. Now the QT man could whine for Australia but his comment about accepting bad calls as part of the game is still valid. Coaches will always blame bad decisions rather than the teams 33% completion rate or a Burgii committing more foul play etc. The best wins are always those against adversity. Just ask the Gallipoli veterans. Whats that – we didnt win that one ? Ok, bad example but you get my point. Some of our best SOO victories were in such circumstances but there have been so many now hard to recall exact year #10isthenew11. One thing we do know though is that Broncs need Jimmy the Jet on the field to advance far into any end of season shenanigans. Much like Cowboys with JT etc. Only exception to the rule is Rabbitohs – end of season success is inversely proportional to how many Burgii play each week.

In TV land Bosch Season 3 was great and simply put is the best cop procedural around at present. Cleverly blends a couple of Connolly novels into one story – much like a batch of Anzac biscuits – and also continues story from previous season. Bates Motel finished a mostly great 5 season run with a suitable conclusion at least for those who knew it was based on the Ed Gein yarn rather than Anthony Perkins doing a spell in the looney bin in between spells of mayhem and naughtiness. Has limited the chance of a revival – never say never – down the track unless Norma comes back in Disneys Frozen 2. I’m here all week, try the veal. But make sure it is thawed out. Billions continues to impress and Gotham returned with the final emerging of The Riddler. Just need Catwoman to emerge out of her suit next week and it will be compulsory viewing in this household

In Travel news Qantas have announced direct flights from Perth to London starting next year – one week after we fly over. Now I dont consider this bad luck per se as not convinced that the Dreamliner is all that great especially in the cheap seats caper. We like a stop over in Dubai anyway so all in all lucky we were still able to do our trip with Qantas as Emirates dont offer PE of course. Speaking of travel I usually scan the travel forums like TA in the late afternoon over a glass of Chateau de Chasselas. Here I am with a few mates just yesterday

Now these forums can be very useful but are also the haunts of many assholes who delight in derogatory and sarcastic replies to simple questions. Guess it is the pinnacle of their pathetic lives to appear to know something more than someone else. I have set myself up as a Maryhole TA expert but as yet have had no enquiries . Odd eh. Speaking of assholes I do hope this new trend takes off like a Qantas Pantyliner direct to Timbuktoo


Speaking of Ireland in 2018 I think this is the famous Ring of Kerry everyone talks about ?

My FB feed has way too much junk in it but every now and again one jumps out from some obscure source that raises a chuckle. Here is one I prepared earlier. While the Anzac Biscuits were cooking

I also made the mistake this week of joining a FB group “Dad Jokes” for a few hours only to have my feed flooded with some of the lamest stuff you could ever hope for. In between the crap of course always a couple of nuggets which will leave you with this week.

No new celebrity deaths aware of, no mushroom clouds and no splinters from my cross work. All in all a good week I guess

Did kick off with a chocolate festivus cleverly disguised as Easter and the start of a run of about 3 months of short weeks. Can I just say as a reduntiree I hate public holidays – really cuts into the time available to do my 15 mins work a week on the Golf Course. Um, hours I mean. Easter of course means a gathering of the Della Clan at Burbank, minus the young campers. As always plenty to eat and drink – including marshmallow a la ash – but was amused when Ant bought out a bottle of White. Yeah we will drink that rather than hook into the perfectly cellared St Hallet Shiraz. Duh. Also began a new tradition of the 500 Cup. Now 500 for me is a lot like Chess with their strategies like the Chekhover Variation of the Sicilian Defence. For me it was the Maryhole Variation of the QUT Luncher . Like CLP, honed my 500 game at QUT but then was able to refine it sligltly while working at Maryhole Pathology in the early days. It is amazing how you can fit in 17 games in your 10 minute tea break when everyone knows what they are doing. And they were QUT boys to start with. They cleverly split CLP and me though and I played with Ant while CLP took on Claude. Claude learnt in Sicily and Ant I think in a winery between bottles of red πŸ™‚ Only joking MATE! Now this is not real 500 as Misere is not allowed which makes for rather tepid bidding in my view. In Maryhole , things didnt get interesting until 9 No Trumps as a blocking move started. Fondest memory is Dazza going 9 NT, picking up Joker and Ace in the kitty and still lamenting “Damn, one trick short “. There is of course no right way or wrong way to play (rules not withstanding ) but partners need to understand each others play and we will continue to work on that. At present stands at 1 all after 3 hours of 7 spades bids πŸ™‚

Easter , sadly, is also associated with road chaos which amazingly seems to get worse each year. I leave early and travel in opposite direction to the masses. There was a tragic fatality just south of Maryhole on Easter Monday for which exact reason not quite known but it isnt the quality of the road folks. However many, including politicians, still call for money to be spent upgrading a perfectly acceptable road. They wont be happy until it is 4 lanes from Cairns to Brisbane. Never happen but if people keep complaining about it then they will do what they did around Gympie. Buy 4 road signs for $20 and bung a 90 with a red circle around it for the “trouble spots”. Then see the impatience and frustration increase on busy days. And of course they will throw in a radar or two and actually make money!

In sporting world sick and tired of all the NRL player movement news, fake news and click bait. Worst proponent in my experience is Triple M on FB with screaming headlines like “Massive News out of Wests Tigers” and the accompanying comment “Wow” . Click……and…….. “there could be news as early as next Monday on the fate of Tedesco and Woods” . Unfollowed. Not sure why Tiger Woods is even news anymore. More back surgery, not playing again this year. Did he play this year? I forget.

Holiday wise has been a bit hectic with trying to finish plans for “Between a Rock and a Soft Red” in September and cement plans for “Galway, Guinness and Gorges” (note early days, reserve right to change when have more time to think of something smart AND hilarious) in February 2018. Just worried may have booked a wine tour in Clare Valley only to find it is the one in Cork, Ireland and not South Australia! Uluru is certainly looking like a jam packed few days with Field of lights, Olgas and even a Segway around the base of Uluru to name a few highlights. Dublin and London Accomodation sorted and all flights booked. Now just wait on North Korea to stuff it all up

In TV land Broadchurch Season 3 was weak and 24 Legacy left none. Billions Season 2 is looking the goods as expected and Girls finished a mostly enjoyable 6 season run well. Just glad to get one lasting image of Lena Dunham naked to keep me warm this winter. Veep returned with usual quality and looking forward to Bosch Season 3 this weekend followed shortly by new House of Cards. Its a busy life on the couch. And not just the one in the Doctors office trust me.

Today though is most memorable for an event 10 years ago. I went to work. Ah sorry, no I meant the wedding of Number One Son (and only one actually, thus making it easier to remember) Tony and his lovely wife Leigh. They now have 3 wonderful kiddies and well settled into full on family life in Toowoomba . Don’t get to see them as much as I should or would like but know they are doing very well and that is all a parent can wish for. And plenty of photos πŸ˜‰