flashman181

After being mobbed on the streets early mornings I decided time to blend in a bit better so went beret hunting yesterday in shops , so basically between 10-12am or 3-5pm 😏. Choices were limited so improvised but it didn’t fool anyone, not sure why 🤔

Funtown of course has better shops because the frogs are jumping with joy and before too long found the perfect one. They also sold canes so winner winner poulet dinner. Todays mission was “Don’t forget the Baguette” and make it deux. I hobbled off and blended in well especially now that my sun bleached complexion from Africa had returned more to simply old man. May have to reconsider the smoking though, Frogs suddenly seem tall to me

Suitably sated after usual solid breakfast it was time for todays plan – Av a go in Avignon 🇫🇷. Diesel fuel still a bit of an issue so will visit another town today and see what the weekend brings . I knew we were having a break from the sweet stuff today at our Boo da Lingerie but couldn’t resist picking up a French Tart this morning to take on our trip

Avignon is a much bigger city of course with a wall around and a half finished bridge amongst its highlights .Also of course the Palace of the Popes . Did the tour but was expecting a more ornate place than rather one large empty room after another, one with a few resting Popes whom I assumed were dead

JL stayed behind on crowd control and did a great job

Must be time for the first coffee of today , pay attention there will be a quiz. It was called The French Coffee cafe so what could go wrong. Paper cups were a concern as was trucks driving past rather close. It was ok but there has been a decline in form of late . No decline in amount of cream mind you 😏

Time then to roam the streets and laneways of Avignon. Once again not many shops of interest but certainly a pleasant stroll . It was time to double up on baguettes for lunch but this time with filling .

Now for the famous half finished bridge . Do we want to do the tour ? Ah no, a couple of pics will suffice thanks

We have seen a great mix of villages/ towns so far this trip and the next couple of days will be a bit quieter . After all there are markets in Pleased da Funtown tomorrow . This could lead to another change in name of town I fear . Meanwhile it’s farewell from Avignon

On way home did a slight detour to Carpentras as only about 10 minutes from Funtown. Another stroll, another coffee, and the standard mix of dry fountains, cathedrals , bell towers and smokers. And a coffee with no cream !

Returning home mid afternoon left us some to chill and then to try a local restaurant for an afternoon beer in the sun. Easy walk, at least to get there 😏 A lovely end to another great day spent with family seeing new sights . And drinking alcohol 🕺🏻🇫🇷

Going to be hard to beat , or even match , the weather from yesterday . After the village pillage yesterday we are moving up in the world and just may down a town . St Remy is in crosshairs but first the croissant run this morning. Or limp maybe as ankle is a bit dicky at present . Swells up during day and can’t really get comfortable at night but still sleep pretty well actually. Just needs to be elevated more during the day but a bit hard with all this amazing scenery to see and tasting stations to breast . Sitting at the cafe with feet on table and beer in hand may give the game away you are an Aussie and I prefer to sneak up on Frogs and see their joy up close when they realise who they are in the presence of. We may have to give the tasting away for a bit because we already have enough wine for rest of week really and ain’t taking any back on the 48 Hours from Hell tour approaching on Monday . Afternoon drinkies are a good opportunity but hard to drink the wine lying down while Ma and Pa plot the next day 😏 And yes we had Espresso Martinins

A cloudy start to day on morning walk but didn’t stop hijinks happening and a bakery buy befitting big boys completed.

We headed off under cloudy skies towards Les Baux-de-Provence via St Remy . It’s a fortification high on a hill but first we walk through a lovely village with the classic cobblestone paths. Time for todays version of coffee though at a lovely outdoor cafe .

The coffees are not getting better but price is increasing as we get more salubrious surroundings. Plenty of shops open to browse as we meander up the lanes. We came across a GQ shoot at the top which was interesting to see

Then onto the Trebuchets and fortifications. Very impressive with of course the obligatory stunning mountain background

It was rather rough ground so I sat out the next lookout and let Larry, Moe and Curly head off without me. They were distraught but coped 😏

A leisurely walk back to car park had us ready to hit St Remy for lunch and a shop. One has to plan shopping in France as they close shops from midday to 2-3 pm for lunch. Again a beautiful town to wander aimlessly through.

But we did have an aim and that was to have a celebratory birthday lunch. Now 3 of us had birthdays in last 2 months so pick a number . We settled on Bistrot de Apilles and settled on the set 4 course lunch which was great value. Really surprised at the quality and size of each serving . Rinsed down with a couple of sherberts of course

Officially full as a goog it was time to waddle back to car and head home after another wonderful day of seeing different sights in France .

The clouds broke in afternoon to another beautiful afternoon so we went out for a short walk for some supplies and then settled in for night .

Good nights sleep had us ready to hit the ground running but we decided to walk as still pitch black at 6 am 😏 And rather cool. It’s a lovely village to walk around and our mission this morning was to find some croissants for breakfast. Let’s follow the suns .Easy Peasy but why stop at croissants 🕺🏻

Ah, so we were supposed to bring them back and not eat them ourselves . Damn now we have to go back

Looks like another pleasant day for a village pillage or two. The day plans are quiet flexible depending on weather but at present nothing impactful on horizon except maybe train strikes.😏 Night plans are locked in 🍷

Our first village was a cracker called Fontaine de Vaucluse. A beautiful river ran through it and surrounded by amazing mountains . Great way to spend an hour waiting for a cafe to open . Look, cappuccino is no way to judge a country for coffee but despite appearances they have been perfectly fine .

Next up was Gordes on the mountain side but as luck would have it we passed by an impressive looking cave so only polite to drop in and enrich someone’s day . Classic example of a top product with a couple of gooses left to run it . We only bought two, suffer in your shorts ladies . And they were big shorts trust me

Before Gordes the clan decided to visit Village da Boring but I chose to pass as see enough ruins in the morning mirror so ain’t paying 6 Euro to see more. I was mobbed by tourists though as I waited

Now for Gordes on what was turning out to be a simply glorious day . We strolled around the town square and liked the look of Pete da Bastard for lunch and a beer on a warm day . Don’t mind a beer on a cold day mind you .

Then we continued on our discovery tour and discovered we love French Villages . Sadly they are full of French people one of your more ignorant clans around. Of course when you find a good one they are delightful with their accent and love of the English language #sarcasm

One last village then wouldn’t hurt on way home . It was a bigger one called Ill de Sook I think with canals on both sides so was a dilemma whether to start with the near canal or the……wait for it……. far canal. The ducks were having fun so we joined in and had an ice cream . Sadly Gary was closed .

Time to head home then as knees and ankle were giving a bit of grief and we had seen so much today already after my usual early start . Can’t stand to let these booteeful mornings pass me by but eventually may have to so can recharge . Tonight we have a yummo roast veal to soak up the obligatory wine but is it too early for the Espresso Martinis you ask 🤔 Stay tuned folks

After a long day slept pretty well . Maybe drop back to two bottles of wine tonight and no Grappa! Pleasantly cool after the heat of Africa.

JL have a car so each day probably involve some driving to explore region but also happy to let village life – especially Pleased da Funtown- wash over you

As an early riser I went for a walk around town by myself to watch the sunrise . Lovely area

Gave a few Frenchies a reason for living today and then headed back home but on the way dropped in to the lab and did few smears for them and read an ESR. It’s the little things that count

By now CLP was up so went for another walk. Some exercise feels very good

This time when we returned home the hosts were up and we had a lovely breakfast . The plan today was for a leisurely drive to a couple of tasting rooms and a couple of villages . First up was Vaison-La-Romaine in search of coffee. Sadly many businesses are closed as slow season so we had an energising walk over a bridge and up a hill to get a better view for cafes .

The we walked back across bridge into town past the clothes markets and into the town square where there more markets and great cafes . Very passable cappuccino as well so it was a great start to day

It was 5 pm somewhere so time to start some tasting . Rather than wineries per se we went to a couple of Co-Ops rather than cellar doors . First up was Les Vigerons de Roaix-Seguret . Now Frenchies like a big lunch break so we rocked up for tasting at 11:50 and they closed at midday. No problem Sweetheart , line em up. 6 wines tasted and 5 bottles bought and out at 12:05. You Aussies 😏 Very reasonably priced wine as well for less than 10 Euro each 👍🏻

Must be time for lunch and wisely we had picked up some baguettes at last village . Yummo

That can only mean it’s time for some more drinking but of course nothing opens again until 2 pm. Another coffee then at next village that had sign of life, harder than you may think.

is also an an acute fuel shortage at present with many stations closed . We found one with a 30 L limit but that was fine . By now our next place was open . We hit the dessert wines and they hit back

We thought we might stay at an Air BNB we saw online to give JL a break tonight but the blurb only mentioned the views and not the access 😏

Back home then and a walk around town to get some supplies of food as drinks are under control next 24 hrs – we have 6 bottles 👍🏻. A great butcher and chocolatier should do the job . We blocked the traffic as JL could have a clear run . The people are friendly but damn they are small.

Well those bottles won’t open themselves so let’s get home to let them breathe – you know 5 mins 🕺🏻. But first some Spritzers . In an odd turn the Prosecco was actually too good for a mixer and made the Spritzers a little bitter but hell we drank them . And then the left over Prosecco 👍🏻

Duck for dinner and some wine . Won’t bore you with those photos .

But I have them ….

So, when last we left our hero he was slowly making way to gate A12 where the expected efficiency of Emirates would at least kick in. Ah, nope. We were scheduled to leave at 18:50 but the board never updated although my Check My Trip knew there was an issue saying 19:15 pm. 6 Bucks and my right nut said we were not leaving at 19:15. Now the usual morons had been lining up since 620 pm because they only go by their boarding pass and nothing else. At least 80 I shit u not and the hosties are still sitting in the waiting area !

Then at about 730 pm the dreaded “indef delay” went up. No word , no announcement . Fuck Me Slowly , life flashed before eyes. We had a 3 hr gap at Dubai so relaxed with late boarding but “indef “ is not late. Or is it 🤔

No moron sits down of course 🤦🏻‍♂️ 10 mins later ,still no word or sign, a staff member walks around with a clapboard saying Zone C and so people start boarding . We were Zone D so we boarded about 10 mins later . Still no update on flight board. It’s an A 380 and in economy so always going to be a slog . At least now we get some good old Emirates service . Ah, nope. What a crap flight this was . Never seen so many attendants on board do so little except mostly talk to each other . The food was ok but of course our choice was gone by time we were served . Asked for a cuppa , never arrived and no more drink service hot or cold after one run. Breakfast was cod ordinary as well . We will never fly Emirates economy again

Arrived about 40 mins late so plenty of time . Of course it’s bus and a cut lunch to get to our terminal but also means security a bit easier and sitting outside our boarding lounge as of course not open 2 hrs before flight due to leave ! At least our bags made it to Dubai . Lyon ????

Our real concern at this stage with no confidence in Emirates is getting to our booked train from Lyon airport 90 mins after scheduled landing . Not confident . If we miss that then have to catch a shuttle into town centre and catch a much later train assuming they are running with all of the French protest going on at present because they raised retirement age from 62 to 64 !

Flight was ready to leave about 15 mins late but of course getting off the tarmac at Dubai is a nightmare . Left about 30 mins late but suddenly our flight time was only 6 hrs 20 mins and we would arrive 20 mins early . Great . Things look good

Went for a pit stop and came back and now we are 6hrs 45 mins flight time and arriving 10 mins late 😢 Today is just looking cod ordinary and really getting too old for this sort of travel. Too many assholes annoy me with their ignorance and stupidity. Beautiful looking at snow capped mountains as we arrived

We made up time in the air and arrived 10 mins early 😏 We had not so wisely chose one of the few only couplets down the back of 777 . Seems a good idea at the time until you realise you will be last off almost a packed plane . We stepped out and really immigration not that bad for non Euro and through in 15+20 mins. We then waited another 45 mins for bags and we were the only plane landed ! Anyway got to train station in plenty of time and now on a fast TGV train to Avignon to meet John and Lorraine for the 40 min drive back to our digs for the week at Pleased da Funtown or something like that 😏 There will be food and wine

Looks a beautiful village and we went for a short walk around the streets late afternoon and dropped into a very clean cheese shop for starters for some supplies . Asked for some Wensleydale but got a blank look . At last we were in the land of the cheese eating surrender monkeys #royhg

Think could get lost here if by ourselves as the streets wind around each other but we had our expert guides and then it was back for afternoon drinkies and a lovely dinner

Think I’m going to like France and our time in Pleased da Funtown , now it’s official name apparently 👍🏻

Comfortable night in our great room had us as relaxed as can be with the long day ahead because it will be

First up though let’s look out the window and see if Johburg has changed at all in 10 days. Ah nope

There is a lot of unrest in Johburg at present because of the significant power problems. Similarly there seems to be a lot of problems in France at present with industrial unrest. We have a tight schedule as it is with landing at Lyon and about an hour to catch the only train leaving from airport to Avignon for the following 4 hrs . JL meet us at Avignon to drive us back to our digs for the week in Pernes-les-Fontaines. If this comes off without a hitch I will be amazed and we all know what an optimist I usually am 🕺🏻

So, first flight from Johburg to Dubai (EmiratesA 380) is due to leave at 18:50 – a mere 12 hrs away 😵‍💫 Wisely we did book exit row seats . With the wanting $110 USD each for lounge access I see a few hours with GU ahead . Maybe we can check out the books in the bookcase to fill in a few hours . Ah nope

Ok it’s breakfast time then and really is a good included breakfast here with the full buffet which I can’t do justice too still being full but not buffed after last nights meal. Once you work out the Rand business it is all very reasonable here – $53 AUD all up for a big dinner and a drink for two last night. Similarly we had a cheapie room for our last stay next week here so upgraded just now for 1000 Rand to a room twice the size – that’s only 84 AUD folks.

Tried to look at paid lounge access at OR Tambo for the few hours this arvo but hard to get much accurate info at this stage . When travelling to France always nice to drop into Italy briefly even if Hooters is closed at 10 am on Sunday 😢 Can’t blame a fella for trying

A relaxing couple of hours in room until late checkout at 1 pm and then sat in foyer for an hour before catching shuttle to airport . We arrived at check in at 230 pm but had to wait , with about 20 others, until 2:50 pm ie 4 hrs before flight 😏 It is a bit of a nightmare at OR with standard issues with check in and security but falls down badly at last passport control stop. Only 2 operators for about 80 passengers at least and of course always happens here is people keep pushing past saying” will miss my plane” . Well maybe get here earlier next time asshole. Seriously at least 25 people pushed past us in the 30 mins we waited 😡 Any thoughts of paying for lounge access for a few hours were gone. Wasn’t paying $45 USD each for 2 hrs max. We had a very nice Sanger instead at cafe. Good shops at airport so did last minute souvenirs / presents shopping and then sat with the GU and waited…….plane already delayed 25 mins . Will sign off now and see you in Frogland hopefully.

A really good nights sleep had our handmaiden waking us at 530 am with our morning cuppa. If she hadn’t called out we may have slept in until 6 am 😯 . Breakfast hamper today so we hit the road at 6 am on another glorious day. We passed the flamingos once again

It was all Meerkats this morning so we headed back to the small colony we saw yesterday. Again hard to get much interaction but hey we have The Big Colony ahead so after a short time we broke out the breakfast. Perfectly passable, not memorable.

Then onto The Holy Grail of Kalahari, The Meerkats home of the famous Meerkats Dynasty doco. It was another good 45 mins but eventually arrived in the area and in total maybe 8 -10 Meerkats in total. Ok, no sweat these clowns love to climb all over you right ? Well not us it seems . A good hour was spent trying and on 2 occasions for CLP and one for me , ONE Meerkat climbed aboard. I smell the old Meerkat Shim Sham was in play here . Still it was fun enough, just was the expected highlight for CLP and fell a bit short of expectations. At least she has 14 birthday cakes to help deal with the letdown

Again a slow drive back with no morning tea offered. Had a swim and a nap – but not at same time – and then back for lunch at 12:30. Food here is certainly fine but is limited in a way. There are no choices , you eat whatever the course is or don’t. Breakfast and dinner in particular are good but lunch rather ordinary at times apart from the always excellent cheese board. Always plenty of wine available of course but only what the selection is that day

Now a long afternoon ahead before high tea at 4:30 pm followed by last sunset drive to nowhere . We do have two extra guests joining us so imagine their despair when they realise we won’t be there tomorrow 😏. At high tea we will find out when our glider leaves tomorrow hopefully on a direct route to Maun and hopefully around 11 am . We have our flight to Johburg leave Maun at 14:30 and of course not able to check in or check any changes 😵‍💫. Maun Airport looked pretty small on last visit and not a place to fill in 3-4 hrs .

Another great High Tea and we met our new travel companions which confirmed how lucky we have been this trip. Nothing wrong with them per se but they do impact especially when the woman thinks she is an influencer and sticks around for your photo opportunities ! Luckily it was a short su set drive to a magic place. It could have been memorable with a fire under a prefect night sky but no Deklerk bored us again for 20 mins with a lesson on Botswana rivers with map included. Only got two rumbos in 😢

What was a very pleasant surprise was this magic place was only 4 mins from camp or 10 mins Deklerk time😏 Another great dinner and another birthday sing along. Great end to our time here and indeed the Safari in general

Our flight tomorrow is 10:45 and just hope we get on it because my maths suggest it is a full plane going back just with guests from here . Then a few hours at the thriving metropolis that is Maun airport before our 2:30 pm flight to Johburg and then go through customs etc again. While it feels like you are flying from state to state ala Australia it is actually country to country. It will be a long day so time for bed with a relaxed wake up time tomorrow of 600 am

Pretty good nights sleep as a bit cooler . They wake you at 5 am – 4:45 am it appears ! – with tea or coffee in your tent . Cups would be handy. Then down to the usual solid breakfast and mix with a few GU . Headed off at 6 am and it was cool and breezy . Today we search for lions and ear plugs for Deklerk lectures 😏 As at other camps the guides all work in well together and before too long we heard lions had been spotted – doesn’t that make them leopards 🥸 – and duly arrived to be simply enthralled . A mum and two cubs – going to be hard to top this folks

A bit more of a general drive around but as we had said we were keen for Meerkats he took us to a small group out on the plains before the more noted large group we will visit tomorrow. They are hard to organise out here and even though we tried for 20 mins we only got a couple of shots of one on CLP. Of course the other guides was showing off when we turned up

Deklerk seemed keen on a long drive to nowhere in particular but we informed him to at least head towards camp. He wanted to check out where the lions from this morning may have gone and before too long we found them again . Then it was back to camp

As still only 1030 am we checked out the excellent pool and had a quick dip. Rather unpleasant with all the flies though so wasn’t too long until we went back to Communal room to have a cuppa. Should note Deklerk didn’t bring morning tea with him today which was a bit poor methinks

Lunch at 12:30 and then relax until 4:30 pm for High Tea and then having a walk with the Bushmen of the Kalahari at 5pm . The food at high tea is excellent . The 30 minute drive to the bushmen took the usual 45 min with Deklerk more interested in turning and talking to us. The minutia he goes into is impressive to him I am sure. Luckily we eventually arrived and it was a great 90 mins spent with the bushmen. And women. A slow deliberate walk full of highlights and fun . For the bushmen at least 🤓 Amongst many highlights was the old man cleaning the live scorpion in his mouth – which got stuck

I was a bit concerned we may miss our Sundowner drinks but no we were fine and another glorious sunset, this time with beer

A slow drive home again of course had us starting to eat at 8 pm, you know an hour after bedtime. Luckily we could sleep in until 6 am so we joined in with the vibe of a packed table and it was great. Then full as a goog, the staff bought out another birthday cake with song attached

Another good nights sleep had us ready for our morning cuppa and then a leisurely breakfast at 7 and then pack . All done by 8 am and only 2.5 hrs to fill in 😏

Let’s review the Safari in general before we start thinking about The Land of Frog on Sunday . It was truly a memorable experience full of lifetime memories. While always sad when ends I think 9 days was the right amount and my financial advisor agrees. Similarly 3 nights in each camp seems ideal . Don’t think could have survived another Deklerk monologue this morning at 5 mph. Additionally the mix of camps was perfect

River Club was luxury on a river . Duh . A hippo here a croc there and that’s about it for animals . While a great way to start it wasn’t especially African in nature except for the wonderful staff and the mosquitos.

Sable Alley was first introduction to real Africa. A good tent but hot but had the best communal area . We had the best guide there and really felt like a close relationship . Well, they do work for tips. The food was excellent with plenty of choices . We saw some great animals ticking off elephant, leopard and giraffe on the must sees. Not always smart to tick off an elephant mind you 👍🏻 The pool was excellent

Intro to Camp Kalahari was a bit tainted by the horrible flight experience getting there and the heat in communal area on arrival . The tent , while smaller,was cooler and made good use of a pedestal fan. The bathroom area was excellent but opening and closing zips at night for loo visits was a pain. The food was very good mostly but no choice means a bit of a lottery. Most crowded camp but worked out fine at meal times and good spacing of tents made for more privacy. The lion viewing spectacular , the meerkats a bit of a letdown

The similarities to all camps were the excellent staff . You mixed more with them at Kalahari which was good . Lack of wifi at Kalahari is perfectly understandable but as last leg of safari not that relaxed with no contact with outside world for 3 days before a couple of international flights etc. One thing I do know that even with the hot sun every day and ample free booze I still look the same after 9 days as I did at start .

Ready for our pick up just after 10 am for airstrip and met Ali our driver but Lo and behold a couple of minutes later Deklerk arrived to take us out and fuck me slowly he was still stopping and showing us more boring birds on the way ! Plane left on time and arrived in Maun on time. Immigration pretty easy – Johburg will probably be a pain this arvo – and Lordy Lordy we had 30 mins free wifi . Uploaded a mass of photos and checked emails and then thought would get 30 mins on iPad after we go through security . Ducked across street for a few T-shirts for kidlets and the through security with 90 mins to spare. And no internet 😢

Air tags suggest our luggage left behind is still at hotel so will pick up and aim for a late check out tomorrow as flight doesn’t leave until 7 pm! We will leave some luggage behind again as return to Johburg again in a week for Qantas flight home

Left on time and said goodbye to Kalahari and the thriving metropolis of Maun, the land of tin roofs.

Arrived a little early but then we have to take the bus and immigration was packed so 30 mins to get through. Then we got shuttle to Mondior and checked in. We had a executive suite like last time but was smaller and facing western sun and freeway and no internet in room ! Oh well, unpacked and headed out for a walk and dinner. Very good value Italian hit the spot before we headed back to room .

Again we had trouble using access key. CLP went down to get another one and came back with a big smile . Because of our problems with keys and internet they put us back in same room as last time – the Presidential suite ! Knobber Knobber . Much more relaxing . Will be a long day tomorrow with a 7pm flight . We have a late checkout time of 1 pm at least . And so it’s goodnight once more from Johburg

Final morning in Sable Alley before catching flight to Camp Kalahari at 10:10 . Lovely relaxing couple of hours

Plane was about 20 minutes late and that was first sign it was going to be a pain. We had one boarding pass from A to B or so you thought. 2 hrs after we left our Airstrip we landed in Maun in the totally opposite direction. This was after 3 stops in between . We then waited 20 minutes for another flight to take us to our airstrip so eventually landed about 1:40 pm after leaving for “our short flight to Tsigaro” at 1030 am . Did like the airport lounge at Jacks Camp airstrip

We met our tour guide Deklerk and he seemed fine. It seems we have one other person with us for a day and then probably him to ourselves. I doubt he will be able to sleep tonight with excitement . He seems fine and easy but is no Molls and CK is no Sable Alley. The communal area seems fine although one big table for eating is a concern when a group of 14 geriatrics just arrived. Maybe 20 guests in total which was going to happen eventually. Very nice lunch , once again there will be no issue with the food , just choices 😏

Our tent is smaller and again no lock at all and just zip up screens . No power points in tent and of course no wifi . The fan is better at least and in general all comfortable enough. As expected the salubriousness level has dipped at each camp but at end of day this one will be judged by activities and staff

We chilled for an hour in our room before heading up for High Tea at 4pm where we met some more guests who were all easy to talk to. High Tea was excellent and then headed off at 5 pm which is more pleasant in a way as not as hot and less time to wait for drinkies ! We quickly found out Deklerk likes the sound of his own voice and sharing his knowledge of some very boring stuff, at least for me 😏 We saw some flamingos first up which look stunning through binoculars but the can’t get close enough for great pictures

Plenty of Wildebeest around here and they are quite amazing looking. it was a slow drive by design to reach our spot at Sunset. We were travelling with one other – Barbara – today and that was easy . It was another beautiful sunset across the vast open plains

Then it was back for a quickest dinner as we’re going back out for a nocturnal drive. Dinner was great but the nocturnal drive was 90 mins of my life ain’t ever getting back . Boring with flashlights. The night sky was rather brilliant though. Time for some sleep as have early start tomorrow