Archive for January, 2017

It was a week dominated of course by Buffoon Bob doing everything he said he would and the liberals jumping up and down. Now, dont get me wrong the guy is a dangerous asshat as is the crew he is assembling with him on iceberg watch. In fact in some cases they are more dangerous as some even know how politics works and how to get around the system as opposed to BB who just crashes through – even imaginary walls. Clearly the immigration ban is not well directed as indicated by many memes highlighting where the Terrorists active on US soil actually come from


Before we get too excited though lets acknowledge that Obama or Bush or Clinton did nothing against the Saudis either. It seems from afar that it is the sudden enactment of this order that has caused most chaos with dual citizens only aware on landing at destination. Its typical of his crash through philosophy. The other danger is the media jumping on everything and not reading the detail as highlighted by the nonsense with the Visa Waiver programme which had many news sources (quoting the same lone article) stating that any Aussie tourist travelling to USA from now on would first have to go to Canberra for a sit down interview. Pure nonsense but the masses bought it with the most common response being ” well who would want to go to America anyway, bunch of rednecks. Me and my sister/wife are perfectly happy herein Oztrayla” And this is why Pauline Hanson is still around

Now while his actions are deplorable can I also add I am sick and tired of the Hollywood folk using every awards stage as a pulpit and trying to outdo each other with their indignation and outrage. We get it we are with you . But she lost. And in part because of your celebrity support that does not sit well with Billy Bob from Bumfuck Idaho. In between all the headline grabbing news he has basically stated that he will never release his tax returns despite all the earlier promises? Follow up on that relentlessly ya gooses. Bill Maher is back and highlighted two very important issues for me on last weeks show. The future of USA is in the hands of any sane Republicans (the fix has to come from within) and Liberals need to stop apologising for everything

In happier news travel plans are moving apace. Seattlandia put to one one side briefly while I concentrate on “SS MoneyNow – A 3 week Cruise” and CLP fills in the blanks for “Between a Rock and a Soft Red“. The cruise is of course 12 months away but have been known to show a slight anal nature to planning and given our cabin number already locked in worth checking the pros and cons of said room. Now it would appear that your average cruiser is a fanatic of a particular brand. There already is a roll call for our cruise on one of the 3 forums I now follow. The Cunard line has a distinctly British flavour of course and it would appear that the general crowd are octogenarians who use to wear their fruit salad of medals from “The Big One” on their chest but now display their list of cruises in similar style in their “signature”. Seriously given the poor wifi reception on these cruises I am amazed these people can post of all – they hop off one cruise just to get on the next. After one day I have 3 firm friends and a maybe and could well be booked on a snorkeling half day trip in Bora Bora next year! I assume they switch their oxygen tanks for the scuba gear on board. The sight of scantily clad old Poms in the clear blue waters of Tahiti is keeping me awake at nights. They are of course very helpful to us noobies but I do feel I am almost entering a secret society but havent been given the special handshake yet. Can only assume there is probably quite a bit of shaking involved actually

As for our trip to the Red Centre and onto the Centre of Red much has been achieved for someone who still has a full time job. Uluru is of course a captive market and they dont miss you in the hip pocket region. The highlight should be the Field of Lights/Sunset Dinner/Pat a Camel first evening – as long as the camel is female. Should also see the Olgas and Kings Canyon (insert traditional owner’s name here if keeping you awake at nights) on way back to Alice before flying into Adelaide for the week long touring of the vine NSEW.

In the real world my day starts by getting up early and checking rain gauge. Sadly it cracked and broke 3 weeks ago so even if any rain would not know. Fair bet there wasnt any. Poor old golf course now has optional tee ups through the green 😦 Out to Woomby this weekend for the 3/4 trip – as in catch up with 4 of 6 grandkiddies before heading OS and explain to them that really Seattle and Portland are very dull and not worth bringing back any souvenirs for them. Then onto Brisbane for my surprise early birthday celebrations. I think the surprise will be if I actually make it to another birthday with all this brain activity of late. Luckily I found a liquid that can slow the brain down and back to normal

In TV land The Affair has finally finished Season 3 so can start my catch up so that afore mentioned addled brain can follow the complex twists, turns and timeshifts. In between the weekly shows like Gotham – which has really picked up of late – fill in the lonely hours

February dawns tomorrow of course which means getting closer to the Trifecta of Travel. Reminds me. Better make an appointment with Centrelink to explain how this is all possible for a reduntiree with no visible means of support.

Devoted followers , and even casual stalkers, would know of my love of travel and my desire to drink on many different continents. Even by my lofty standards the next 12 months are looking rather special

First up next month is Seattlandia or the Twin Cities of Quirk if you like. Portland and Seattle may not have great weather at that time of year but I asked Kellyanne Conway and she gave me some alternative facts so feel much better now and just packing thongs and shorts. Hmm, yeah ok maybe some footwear too. Like many of my ideas this was a spur of the moment idea as 2 yrs seemed too long between trips to USA and there was a 24 hr flight deal on. Honest. It may be a little different to previous trips with less “must see” attractions and the impact of weather but all travel is good especially in these stinker QLD summers. Mostly one massive pub crawl to be truthful but if get a clear day plenty to see in Seattle at least. Staying in a B&B mansion in Seattle which should be something a little different. As always did all my planning months ago so have put this trip to one side as start planning next. Basically, I find the planning of the trip most of the fun because after that you just have the long wait until you actually can go! As such it is nothing for me to get an idea in the morning, do up a 3 week spreadsheet with accommodation, flights and tours by afternoon tea and then decide to go somewhere else over evening drinkies. To be fair I do my best thinking over evening drinkies.

This is a solo trip of course. CLP and I still go OS together every 2-3 years and in between have a nice holiday in Aussieland. This year is Uluru and Adelaide for 2 weeks in early September. Basically gaze at big rock at sunrise, go back at sunset and gaze again and then spend $1000 to stay in any resort that doesnt involve pitching your own tent. A half day trip here and a half day trip there and pretty soon you have filled in another day. Maths eh. Then onto Adelaide and a week driving around the Epicurean Way visiting wineries etc. Well, mostly wineries to be fair but there is a vast selection in a relatively small area. Great time doing same thing in Hunter Valley this year and I always say see Australia first. Or at least after USA and Europe

Now a lot of this next 12 months planning hung on a rather biggish event in Feb 2018 when I officially become an old fart. Nothing like a well hung plan I say. A lot of thought went into where I would like to be on my 60 th birthday. First choice was “above ground”. After that the serious planning started and for at least 3-4 months it was a USA visit with drive from San Fran down the coast to San Diego and then onto Las Vegas. Plenty in between including even a visit to famed Pebble Beach. As the 12 months out approached we were getting close to looking at flights . And then last weekend happened. As I go to USA a lot it is an easy country to visit solo and not totally convinced sweetpea is as enamoured as moi but rather doing what I wanted as my birthday. So, slowly came round to thinking that as a couple we should go back to Europe and see Budapest, Cinque Terra and Lake Como for starters. Now, February is not the best time to visit Europe necessarily but what can one do. So was putting together a rough plan including ice skating on said Lake Como when decided to take a break for morning tea on Saturday. I played my game and CLP read her paper as we do. She said ” a few weeks on the 3 Queens sounds like fun” Hmm, certainly different I grant you but not sure I am that adventurous ! I then realised she was reading the Escape section and was referring to the 3 Cunard ocean liners. Whew! I have been on two liners in my life – once at 12 and again at 22. I had mentioned cruises a couple of times in our tenure together but rather clear CLP not a massive fan, at least of the P&O variety. It seems hob nobbing on the Cunard variety may appeal though πŸ™‚ A quick look at itinerary indicated the dates didnt suit and really a bit long when one of us is still working he he. So put to one side with the possible thought of looking into something similar for her 60 th when I just happened to check one item. Cunard cruises in Feb 2018. Hmm, one leaves San Francisco on Feb 5th and arrives in Sydney on Feb 28th. Spooky. Its the Queen Elizabeth and on the way visits Honolulu , Tahiti, Moreea and New Zealand. Thats something different and also birthday and Valentines Day at sea – pampered twice in a fortnight! We looked at the sums – not cheap – but still doable. We wanted to find out prices of shore excursions and whether you could choose you own cabin so started a “dummy” booking process. We chose a cabin for fun (after a deal of research) and noted some already taken including the prize one on that deck. We looked at each other and both thought at same time – “well the best cabins go quickly, what do you reckon? Only a $600 deposit” Hit submit and the rest as they say is history.

So next year we are going on a 22 day cruise into the unknown. Literally. Some more research (apparently usually done before booking!) indicated a lot of extra costs and naturally many poor reviews as you expect from the general whining public. There were some great reviews too of course. It seems we could well be the youngest folk on the boat which is not necessarily a bad thing but pretty fair to say cruising has changed a lot in 35 years! We will let this settle in for a few days and do some more research – afterall only $600 in the hole at present. Of course , not a lot of planning to do now and cant even look at shore excursions until 100 days out. Our cabin has a private balcony and meals are in a dedicated dining room with casual times so that part is good. The prospect of being stuck in middle of the ocean with the great unwashed masses is always a concern and much more so now then 35 yrs ago! I suspect we would look at a Pearl Harbour tour ashore but the other ports will be mostly sit on the beach looking at the glorious water and work on suntan. Look for airfares to SF soon and will spend a few days there prior to cruise so accommodation needed but looking like a totally new experience awaits and all set up in under 24 hrs. Scary shit

I do have one bit of bad news though. Communication onboard seems either very limited or very expensive or both so devoted fans may be disappointed with lack of daily trip reports to enrich your dreary lives. In the meantime sit back and get ready for Seattlandia in a tick over a month. Or do what I do – go back and read the old ones:)

Life is good

All the sevens. And some ones. So, basically nothing special. Proceed

Another week of searing heat and dire forecasts. High Temperatures seems to be the one thing the bureau gets right occasionally and dont they just cream their jeans with their red and orange maps that literally self implode before your eyes. Mind you when they say 32 they mean 35 so who knows what a predicted 39 this weekend will actually be. Of course also another week closer to Seattlandia where everyone complains about the cold and snow. They want our weather, I want theirs and so it goes. Facebook welcomed me yesterday with cheery note “Good Morning David , enjoy the Sunshine today” Well no I wont actually because it loses its appeal on the 117 th straight day

Of course also means that D Day, as in The Donald, is almost upon us. As mentioned in other media commitments many struggling acts use the ‘will we wont we” scenario regarding the Inauguration piss up as a means of getting some easy publicity. Trust me, dont care and wont think any less of you either way because basically that would be impossible. Hollywood continues to act as if they can still reverse it while Trumpy thinks he is still campaigning. Surely Hil’s loss clearly showed how out of touch Hollywood is with most of America and yet they continue on with the self congratulatory moralising road show. Move on folks. Trumps first presser in a while was rather scary as in really thought by now he would start to act a bit precedential πŸ™‚ Again with the hilarious props of unmarked manila folders. Pity the poor work experience student who has to file them later. “But none of the folders are marked?” “Doesnt matter stupid, they are empty anyway. By “filing” we mean the big blue bin outside”. It was like a campaign rally more than a press conference. Interesting times ahead. Still. Obama has more farewell gigs than John Farnham.

In sporting world suddenly Warner cant find his ass with both hands and as usual the much vaunted batting line up invariably finds themselves 4-40 because they all think the next guy coming in is really good. The BBL has been good as always. Luckily PGA golf has started up again and only fitting that after the Golden Globes we now get to see fit young multi-millionaires swanning around in Hawaii for two weeks. Luckily the real tournaments start soon but sadly the Oregon Open is not played next month. At least we can laugh at the multimillionaires sweating in the heat at the Tennis. The NRL was suffering under a lack of publicity so released the Kraken to stir up some news and they did not disappoint.

Shows are slowly returning in TV land which is both good and bad. Started up second half of latest Vikings season and it is rather good again after quite a lull. Never been a massive Always Sunny fan but have to say the first two episodes of season 12 were very good. Of course at this time of year TV takes a back seat as the Festivus miracle of Screener season descends. It was a slow trickle at first but now a steady flow #trump#goldenshower. Apparently you can download these somehow and watch them without going to the cinema? In this heat the cinema looks a better bet. Well at least after school starts up again. And Maryhole actually gets a cinema.

All in all a rather quiet week as happens with this heat. The energy levels are low while the AC is high. Its a period to get through and emerge the other side hoping that eternal optimism has not diminished. Seattlandia pretty well locked in now although hard to prebook too much given the general negative weather reports .Pubs have roofs – research done. At least dont have to worry about that here in Maryhole although well worth it for the shade factor



See what I did there? Yeah its been awhile but has been a busy time travelling and visiting and eating and drinking. To be fair I do the latter duo 12 months of the year – ironically often while writing this nonsense. Couldnt tell eh ?

Xmas was celebrated this year in Brisvegas in a decamped version of Flashman Inc Sunshine Coast HQ. Oddly, still woke up in a tent. CLP often scores gigs house sitting around this time of year but have requested in a future a pool must be included. Lovely Xmas spread as always and was lucky enough to have the Ferguson Matriach with us as well this time. Yes Mum, that white meat was turkey – got ya!



Of course Xmas is all about kiddies so having seen the cutie patooties @Beachmere before Xmas it was time to head out to Toowoomba on Boxing Day to see the Fab Four @Woomby. All are well and healthy which is great and young Ryan is progressing well.



Later in the week the three and two got together in Beachmere for some cousin fun. Hopefully much more time together to be spent in coming years


So, 2017 rolled around and it was a quite affair back at Maplehead. I did hear some rumblings around midnight but to be fair it could have just been my stomach. Of all the memes and images this one tickled my fancy with the catch phrase “Have a Blast”. Non Haematologists may miss the sheer brilliance of this but trust me its good


Lets start 2017 off with my pet peeve which shows no sign of diluting – certainly not through rain anytime soon! Yes its weather forecasters. I have come to accept their non repentant arrogance will never disappear but was especially galled by an article in the local rag stating that a meteorologist had debunked the theory a “dome” existed over Fraser Coast and get your umbrellas ready as more rain was on the way this week. The first thing of interest to note here was the said meeting with Meteorologist took place at an open air cafe despite his own prediction of rain that day. He was wearing a singlet, shorts and thongs with sunscreen on. Of some hope was the ridicule and scorn laid down on this clown by my fellow local sufferers via the comments section. For the latecomers to this issue let me explain my stance. Its a science isnt it? Its funded at least in part by Government ie us! As someone previously associated with the world of science in its many forms I know of no other science that could get it wrong so often and still exist let alone publish anything. Even the Flat Earth society laugh at them. Basically its as simple as this – if weather is as predictable as you appear to claim then get it right once a month; if it is not predictable beyond the next 23 minutes then stop giving long range predictions ya clowns.

In the land of sport I may just have to accept that Warner, D can bat. He is not just a slogger but actually a gifted player and the main reason Australia can bowl a side out twice despite a largely docile attack – we score our runs quickly. Renshaw is developing and Handscomb looks the goods but please just shut the fuck up about Lyon. He is average at best and eventually the batsman makes a mistake because he is sick and tired of hearing “Nice Gary” .The recording is actually edited. What Wade is really saying is “be Nice Gary if you actually spun one now and again” I never understood the connection to an AFL player with a different spelling anyway

TV land has been pretty quiet although some shows starting up again. Good time to watch some docos and specials. I especially like the Kennedy Centre Honours every year and can only imagine next year when Trump honours Duck Dynasty. Has been a quite couple of weeks with satirical shows taking a break and Trump having a largely free run to keep sprouting nonsense. Strange times ahead.

2016 will be remembered for a while as a year of many significant deaths of which it was mostly the celebrity ones that took up oxygen rather than someone like Dr Henderson who eradicated smallpox but somehow the Kardashians survived. The joke rolled around often is how is Keith Richards still alive . Just shows you that you just live your life day to day and whatever will be will be, que sera sera. OMG Doris is still alive isnt she?? In a daily feed chock full of a lot of self adulation and pointless commentaries it was always the simple images that struck me and none more so than this one. It is at times transfixing


Of course not all images are clever but rather just funny. Lets kick off 2017 with one that made me smile. Yes its true. A new year dawns and going to give this smiling caper a chance. Well at least until I see the next interview with a meterologist……