Archive for the ‘Midlife Crisis in Maryhole’ Category

SOS Trouble Ahead

Posted: October 1, 2018 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

Ahh such memories. SOS of course can mean many things but as is my keg half full attitude (#kavanagh) lets start with the good ones. Sydney October Soujourn begins next weekend where me and the missus hit Old Sydney town for a quick 5 days just when Harkle is in town 😦 At least WE wont be mobbed at the airport for a change. It was planned some time ago long before we knew of pending royal visit and is a bit of a filler between trips OS. While Melboring remains our fave Aussie town Siderney does have some appeal especially around the bigly wet bit in the middle under the coat hanger. 5 days sounds about right and just for a change flying into and out of Sunny Coast airport. Not sure about the secure long term parking there but at least its not a cut lunch to get to the terminal. They do have terminals I hope! Certainly no Qantas Club of course, maybe two jatz crackers and a bit of cheese if lucky. We shant starve. I may well have thrown my lot in with Qantas a bit early mind you as with so much time on my good hand these days do a lot of reading about all things sky flying related and does seem Qantas are getting a tad stingy with their product. Around about the time I now have 150 k points to play with. Still a good product for flying to USA but not so much going the other side of world. First world problems of course but then they are the only ones we should concern ourselves with at this late stage in life eh

Trouble does loom ahead though with the old bod starting to show its age while the face remains remarkably untouched. Having had some increasing shoulder pain of late and as it was time for yearly digit up the date time thought would get some xrays/scans done to rule out something worthy to whine about. As it turns out there is something wrong there – a torn supraspinatus tendon, one of the 4 in the rotator cuff of shoulder. Also known as the “Cronk Crock” until 8 pm Sunday night! Obviously he could play with a 15 cm break in scapula but not with a rotator cuff tear πŸ™‚ So off to surgeon this week to see what the options are but suggest most will include moaning ” woe is me” . Not keen on the knife caper given the long rehab time involved so will be pushing for more conservative approach like a Bex and a laydown. Basically my daily plan most days anyway. The real issue of course is cant play golf at present and generally limited in most other activities. Yes, before you snicker it is the right shoulder. And is the one dislocated many moons ago which was fixed, wired and then came apart again. Not sure what this image shows but if you have it show it they say. At leasnt now I know where those missing shirt buttons went

Speaking of Cronk it was an odd week. Some would say karma was served with Billy getting off shoulder charge and then having a sad farewell game. Love Billy but he does have grub in him but no one deserves to be booed like that after the game. Lets not become Yank sporting crowds. The subterfuge around Cronk injury was rather immaterial in end but you have to feel sorry for the guy who was in line to replace Cronk but then Coach decided “nah think the one armed guy is better option” Hard to come back from that slight. It was over after 20 minutes and Roosters simply out muscled them early and never let them back in. Mitchell is a star indeed but also has grub in him which will cause issues over time. Sad news if as just reported GI has fallen into the old DD caper just when all the life ducks were lining up. In the clearly best sporting even of the weekend Europe beat USA in Ryder Cup golf in a simply stunning made for TV arena. Tiger looked shagged on the first tee and never impacted while the usual reliable players like Poulter and Molinari starred again. Its a brilliant format. Of course also signals the end of great sport for a while following on from league. Cricket? ZZZZZZZZ Another SOS on the horizon

What can u say about US politics these days that hasnt been said a 1000 times already. Buffoon Bob should do weekly press conferences, they are mesmerising. Its like Forrest Gump if he had a lobotomy. The Kavanagh hearings are bizarre to say the least but does give SNL an opportunity to unveil a new character and Damon nails it. Still suggest the result is done and dusted but will drag out another week or two

So, the days have become even longer now and not just talking the sun up sun down routine. Work on course mostly limited to mowing fairways and cleaning beer lines and not as if the grass is growing before our eyes . The nights are still pleasant and we even got a little rain on Sunday which was much needed. Devoted followers would know of the Dome that sits over Maryhole in most weather events but it was pierced on Sunday . Or was it?? Powered down but watching approaching armageddon on BOM I was tempted to get some planks of woods and nails ready for my Noah act as surely we had a bucket load coming. It came, sat for an hour and went. During the blue deluge the sound on the roof never quite matched the images and this of course was confirmed later by reports of about 9mm downfall. Hell I do that most nights myself! It was good but could have been so much better

Where have I heard that before…….

Spring has Sprung

Posted: September 7, 2018 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

Earth, Wind and Fire pretty well sums up the first week of September in Gods Country just a tad north of Brisvegas. Drier than a dead dingoes donger except , oddly enough, on Fraser Island where they all live and feed on careless tourists. But you know it is Spring with the birds are a chirping early in the morning. Now where is that slug gun of mine….

And so Burt has gone. Some reports refer to it as tragic and it may well be for his family and friends but certainly doubt Burt would be too upset. He packed more living into one decade in the seventies then you or I ever will in our lives. He was the King and it coincided with my peak movie watching period. Perhaps I should clarify that with “peak as in went to the cinemas and actually paid to watch the movie with some jaffas and a bag of marella jubes” . In Brisvegas we were blessed with many cinemas in those days and would easily see one or two every week whether at the local Dawn or in the big smoke. Many folk would list Deliverance and Boogie Nights as his best movies and probably Smokey has his most iconic role but for me the one I go to is The Longest Yard with Hooper as back up . Watched TLY yesterday and no surprises not terribly PC. Apart from being a beefcake he was a fun guy with a good sense of humour and often self deprecating. Popular guest on the Tonight shows. RIP Burt

Mandatory Credit: Photo by ANL/REX/Shutterstock (3871554a)
Burt Reynolds Actor At The Dorchester Hotel.
Burt Reynolds Actor At The Dorchester Hotel.

US politics continues to ask only one question – is this the week it all comes tumbling down? It seems that question may never answered. The Sco Mo make over as Joe Average with a Bible continues. Doesnt quite register on the genuine scale for moi but mostly in the who cares list anyway. Only important thing for moi is the economy and Aussie $ and latter looking a bit shaky at present. Oh well

Big month of Sport of course. Feel the Broncs have peaked a week or two early and Dragons could be a danger game because being mere footballers does mean they are susceptible to being complacent and stupid. Which brings me to the naked elephant in the room. The Bulldogs behaviour was pathetic but not as pathetic as ex players defending them. They just dont get it. The one excuse that galls though is they had a tough season they deserve top let their pants – oops sorry, hair – down. Of course they can but not in public ya goose. When was the last time you saw a group of soldiers return from 6 months in Iraq – admittedly not as tough as a season of football where you almost won 3 games – and start dancing naked in the streets as they destress? Its a croc of shit. Great golf at present in USA with Fed Ex playoffs in full swing and Ryder Cup just around the corner in Frog Town. If only you could get updates on how The Striped One was going occasionally it would be sweet……. Cant get enthused about US Open tennis even if an Aussie gets into last few rounds but at least it does give an excuse for Roy and HG to put all into perspective. You cant beat that live cross to family as cringe fest. And of course stay on for The Batchelor review

Some quality TV around at present. Sharp Objects was a treat, although did have to pay attention. Left you thinking about if for a few days to follow. Ozark Season 2 is equally impressive and a step up from first season. Bodyguard is all class as expected and Deep State a well made “spy/agent” yarn. Aussie TV continues to struggle with latest Rake simply an embarrassment . Cleaver has gone from lovable rogue to annoying buffoon

Time to sign off and get ready to scorch the links once more as current B Grade Monthly Mug winner. For the GU, apart from getting a mug to keep one can also get free beer in said mug from members for the month u r said Biggest Mug. Sadly I wont take any advantage of this as given our little group of 4 already has $80 on the counter to drink from “the match” I already have the wobbly boot on before starting that nonsense. Does remind me of a classic month back in the eighties when you could drive while full as a state school hat rack – apparently – and the Golf Club would rock on a Saturday afternoon/night. A certain member who will remain nameless although it was Max McBean got a list of every member of the golf club to hit with said mug. The only rule is you cant ask the same member twice in any month. Most players were happy to hit their own close circle of mates but not Max. He introduced himself to every member as they came in after the round with a handshake for the right hand and the mug in his left hand. Ahh, the memories when life was simpler and the liver was healthier

But, I digress. It is Spring so time to plant some bulbs

May even do some gardening later

Has been a glorious winter but would not be a weather related comment without a whine so – we need some rain! When my drives are rocketing past 180 m then you know the course is too dry. A few more cold mornings to come they say but before you know it the single digits overnight will be gone. We can go back to a full hand and no glove…… Pretty well the sweet spot now with still pleasant nights and sun coming up just before 6 am which ties in well with my post nocturnal activities . Rake, coffee, sleep. Repeat. I suspect reversing that order could help significantly

Its a strange world we live in these days and no sign of changing anytime soon. I have more than a passing interest in US politics but it gets a bit too much week in week out in the land of Buffoon Bob so try to just catch up with every 3rd “white house disaster” You know, twice a day. Omarosa is such a clear example of what is wrong with the world today. How did this bimbo ever get anywhere – did we run out of Kardashians suddenly ? The classic example of an oxygen waster given way too much airtime. Why does anyone really think the BB brigade care if he used the “n” word. (Sidenote – while not disputing the appalling nature of the word and what it implies always seems a bit odd when African Americans use the full word for “comedic effect” like Roy Wood Jr did on Daily Show ). The more disturbing issue here surely is that a clown like Omarosa was running around the WH with a tape recorder! I am sure BB was just giving us his respected thoughts on Elba, Idris Elba playing James Bond. Speaking of RESPECT it is amazing even after all this time how thoughtless Agent Orange is. He starts his thoughts on passing of Aretha Franklin with ” knew her well, she worked for me a few times”. If they ever remake Clueless he has to be the lead

Some quality TV around at present. First up tried some Aussie drama. The main problem with these of course is same 6-10 actors appear in every local production. Jack Irish was a jumbled mess really as much as generally like him. In keeping with flavour of month – international students – Dead Lucky started well but then threw in a weird plot direction and never quite recovered. And why exactly did she do the Kojak lollipop thing anyway? Bite Club just started and again some promise but a weird scene at end of first episode involving incisors/molars was either a weak distraction or even weaker writing? Time will tell. In the meantime the always excellent Unforgotten is drawing to a close on another great short season. Not impressed with Season 3 of The Affair but had a look at Season 4 and must admit it looks much better and rather engaging. Back to split storytelling style of Season 1 but with less crossover it seems . Saving shows like Better Call Saul, Castle Rock and Sharp Objects for full season watches – if I can resist. In movie land thought the Aussie drama Breath was very poor sadly but not as bad as Skyscraper of course. Latest Avengers movie reminded of a Rat Pack movie where a group of millionaires get together to have fun but not much else. Not just into this whole series after the first – and best – original Iron Man. Deadpool 2 on the other hand was just fun

Sporting world locally is pretty much dominated by the NRL coaching merry go round. What an embarrassment to the game. A combination of poor management at club level and self serving media fuelling the fire leaves most fans cold I imagine. BBQ Gate was probably the low point but its a bee’s dick of the ground anyway. The Broncs dress in stolen Storm jerseys and suddenly can beat the Rabbits . It is just frustrating for supporters as means we have to sit through first week of finals now before Mad Monday can start. I prefer the certainty of Rugby where you just know we are no chance of taking the Bledisloe Cup, especially under the current system where it is very hard for NZ to actually lose it. Much like Steve Smiths world batting rank it seems

In travel news SOS is less than 2 months away. As in Sydney October Soujourn. A short 5 days in Sydney in part as late celebrations for CLP birthday but also because Wired for Winter still seems so far away. A Night at the Opera , a day at the zoo sprinkled with a few nice meals and the week will fly by. For something different flying into and out of Sunshine Coast airport. I think the Qantas Club there is a packet of Tim Tams and a Thermos. Fear not fans we shant go without. So not a lot happening at present so rather spookily life is in a bit of a holding pattern as well while trying to dump excess fuel πŸ™‚ After all summer just around the corner and that means its swimming trunks time!

In more important news Daughter 2 has set a wedding date and GS1 turned 9 this week. Someone must be getting old……

Yep thats fake news but “a long time between blogs” has a certain gastrointestinal issue aura about that and my straight laced fan base would be turned off by that

So, since last we met our hero a lot has happened in what is simply a glorious time of year. Some brisk mornings indeed but the real winners are the days – blues skies, low 20s. Darool Darool. I suspect heaven on earth is drawing to a close so lets enjoy last few days. One thing people forget in winter is their pets but not Brody. Beardy has officially the highest Vit D level of any cold blooded animal recorded

First big event back in middle June was engagement party for Ranny and Richard. Always great to catch up with family and a great night was had by all. We stayed at a B&B again and Woomby certainly has some gooduns. Tony and family were driving to Brisvegas to catch a flight for a NZ holiday next morning and luckily all made it and judging by photos had a great time. No, not these photos. Other photos

July saw Mum turn in her grave. Nope, actually still with us and turned a mere 92. Anne and John put on a lovely morning tea and also able to catch up with Auntie Noela, an all too rare event these days. Then it was onto my life story as told as a musical at QPAC – Beautiful. It is of course the Carol King yarn and was simply brilliant not just with the songs but the set designs and humour throughout. Do yaself a favour and catch a couple of live shows every year

A couple of weeks at home rearranging sand with Miner’s Helmet in place as big events at course and work stated at 4 am for 3 days! Fun fact. Its actually colder when sun comes up then at 4 am. Speaking of cold it was then down to Canungra (try saying that 3 times quickly after a few sherberts) to celebrate the 60th birthday of Bruce and also usual Della Xmas in July. Had the day before hand to walk around Brisvegas for a few hrs while CLP worked. Yep that is as funny as it sounds. Lovely city to explore on foot even if not much open at 7 am! Two nights at Chateau Canungra had the trakkies fitting nice and snug and the liver earning her keep. Has to be a woman with all the moaning she does

So after that rather hectic, but enjoyable, few weeks time to detox for a few weeks back in Maryhole. One no longer feels the need to comment on Buffoon Bob because nothing ever changes. You think well that will be the last straw but nope just dyes it orange and sticks it on top of his head and moves on.

In TV land have really enjoyed some Aussie TV of late. Jack Irish is back but also enjoyed Safe Harbour on SBS and just started Dead Lucky as well. With Castle Rock just dropping also found another SK adaptation with Mr Mercedes – recommended. Of course has been a lot of talk about Cohen’s latest Who is America which I find dull and cringeful apart from maybe the Mosque in Arizona segment. Of course many forumites think if you dont think it is hilarious then “tyou dont get it” which is rubbish of course. Humour is subjective and just because you dont find this dross funny doesnt mean u dont get it. It aint rocket science. I prefer the more subtle approach of a Daily Show which just talks to Trump supporters at a rally. That is of course more scary then funny anyway. We now have concerns about whether Barry Humphries humour is too feral now? Nope it is as funny as ever, its the world that has changed. Seinfeld latest Coffee in Cars was mostly good

In sports world the Broncs are hot and cold but simply have worst 5th tackle options of any top 8 team. They wont threaten at pointy end but could be good next year. If they buy a halfback! The Open was good as always and while I didnt see last round live was intrigued by screaming headline next morning before watching recording “Molinari beats Tiger to win Open” Most sane folk would assume that meant Tiger came second? Nope. Tied for 6th from memory but of course he is all the vast majority of media write about. Yes he is competitive and its a great return but methinks his last putt in that Open – even though out of contention – tells you what we all know. It aint the same Striped One anymore. Now just tell the media purleese

Wired for Winter is slowly percolating away in background. As I write this I see Qantass has FINALLY released some sale fares for Feb 2019 and could have saved $600 if waited but think we both know that would have been spent now on anti anxiety pills and yoga lessons to get out of fetal position each morning. Speaking of which the ankle may have entered next phase. Which could be its last. Yes one does get older each year but man the joints are bad this year and the ankle mostly swollen after any activity. Much better when activity leads to loss of swelling

Ya with me…..

Well, Winter has certainly come a knocking as we enter the best time of the year in Maryhole. Brisk nights and clear days with max of low 20s. I love the daytime low 20s but maybe in a sign of old age approaching a couple of degrees more in morning would be ok, like around the 10C mark. As CLP always says , well just a little more would be nice . Not sure what she is referring to…. Thinking of getting some of the airplane aisle floor lights installed in house between bed and loo! Of course early starts on the golf course dont help I guess but I am a creature of habit. Mind you not only is the weather glorious here but Maryhole is leading the world into the 20th century. Dont believe me ? Check out this non fake news item I prepared earlier

May is a busy time of year Grandkiddy wise especially the last week. Started with annual camping trip to Rainbow last Friday for Harry’s 6th. By camping I mean I drive down, look at the camp, spend some time with Harry and family and then move onto more salubrious accommodation at Maplehead. You know, walls, roofs and that sort of stuff. Mind you the Pipers now have a camper trailer which could almost entice. Once they get full plumbing and an ensuite of course. It was a very windy day so no swimming undertaken but a lovely time all the same

By end of week time to celebrate Pat the Lad turning 7. What do you make for such an event? Well patty cakes obviously. What is interesting though looking back on photos is that while Pat has changed a lot in 7 years I look exactly the same. Spooky stuff

And of course as Winter hits not many places in Qld colder than the old Toowoomba as am sure Ryan would agree. Will be great to see the Woomby clan again in a couple of weeks for Ranny’s Engagement party

So, in other inconsequential news a lot is going on I guess. SOO approaches and while always thought this was the year we start losing even before Eyelash Boy bailed the side NSW has picked does give us an outside chance and by that I mean we could lose by 50 or win by 8. Its a side brimming with speed and talent but is inexperienced and if get behind early could be some panic. If NSW lose the first game, let alone the series, they will be in the foetal position for years to come. Of course with first game being in Victoria we need to help that mob work out their allegiance

TV and Politics entwined again as is the norm these days. We had the Roseanne nonsense followed by equally deplorable Sam Bee comments and floating around all this was the bizarre image of a Kardashian in the Oval Office. So many great comments and memes served up of course with this maybe my fave titled “Massive Arse meets Massive Arse” . Too easy really

Of course the truly Trump result of all this was that yes he did pardon a few people but not the one that KK saw him about!

In actual TV Land there have been some good shows out and about. The ONJ biopic with Delta was not one of them. Likely the worst TV will see all year and onl6 half way through. The Americans has wrapped up now so that is next cab off the rank. The Terror was rather compelling viewing and an interesting subject matter. The Picnic at Hanging Rock remake was mostly style over substance as expected but really any lavish Aussie TV production is generally better than current US slop. Of course when discussing this story always reminded of Sir Leslie Colin Patterson’s original idea. Check out from about the 4 min mark. Better still watch the whole clip and get some edumacation – Pissup on Hanging Rock. Classic humour from those glorious non PC days

With flights now booked and paid for Wired for Winter is set in stone. Or Ice as the case may be. Have my new Qantas Premier Mastercard so accumulating points at a rapid pace now. Always fly PE but with now being a Dreamliner plane with some rather poor PE reviews will be trying to upgrade a leg or two to BC as one does #firstworldproblems. Accommodation mostly sorted as well with just a train here or there or book. Was looking at a few non Qantas options for internal flights but they have some strange rules regarding entry to their domestic lounges so Qantas seemed the best answer on many fronts . One always need to load up suitably before any flight just in case. As someone who really doesnt sleep on flights upgrading first leg appeals most as can really hook in to the great service (food and DRINK) and get PJs to use rest of trip. Sweet.

So as the sun slowly sets and the temp drops accordingly all is good in Flashland. The Grandkids are and always will be pure joy especially as all different in their own way in age and character. Jacks tournament is on at present so that is daytime TV sorted for tomorrow. My own golf today was rather embarrassing today but still enjoyable especially any day get into Hoge’s back pocket. Glorious weather, great company and free beer.

Its not the Holy Trinity but dang its close folks

To be honest though not a lot has happened since Ireland Fling. A few family gatherings here and there which are always great but in the scheme of things not much life altering. And who would want to change this action packed life I lead . When I get out of bed and go straight to my nanna nap it may be time to shuffle off my mortal coil. In the meantime, winter has poked its head out of the arid dry brown land and the common folk rejoiced. In keeping with my contrary nature though I have decided to come out of my cave as in unhibernate (its a word, look it up) and leave it to the bears. After all there is enough shit in the woods now

Speaking of which, what a sad world we live in these days. Its been a slow decline maybe but it only takes some nonsense like a pointless royal wedding for the terminally moronic to focus on and there goes what passes for a “news” feed for 6 months. I miss M&M. No not the chocolate confectionery as captivating as that is but rather Mike Higgins and Mike Willesee. You had 23 mins of actual news broken clearly into national, international and sport news segments. Then Willesee interviewed important people that had actually contributed in some way to life that didnt involve holding a phone back to front. After you were suitably bought up to speed you then could relax with N&N. Norman Gunston and Number 96. All bases covered before heading off to bed knowing you could wake up safely in the morning with no morning TV crap to endure and impose on your daily routine. Its all an industry of course that spreads like a cancer for which there is no cure. The amusing aspect of this latest tax payer funded extravaganza is the US connection. They have always been fascinated, while uniquely ignorant, of the Royal Caper. Mind you fascinating ignorance pretty well sums up USA circa 2018 but I digress and refuse to mention Buffoon Bob again. Maybe. They sent their best and brightest to amuse. They obviously missed the connection and instead Ferrell and Shannon appeared. Like most Ferrell stuff sans Wiig the laughs run at about 10%

The one shining light in Harkle 2018 is that it has cleared up one issue for me. Without hesitation Megan Boone is clearly the worse actress currently on TV with her main ,and rather stiff ,competition having sashayed down the aisle with Big Ears last night. While they couldnt agree on how to spell their first name they were certainly united in woeful acting skills, the latter word being a stretch admittedly. I really have nothing against the Royals per se and think the two lads would fit in rather well at an Aussie BBQ. They could discuss how their fathers knew each other

This non event was of course quite correctly overshadowed by the much more important question sweeping the world making Pratts of us all . No laurel for picking the winner there

There is always something happening in the US of course and its rarely good and especially when it involves schools and shootings. You simply become immune to it though becasue of their peculiar mentality and of course the words/inactions of the law makers. Flags at half mast, empty words, vigils. Give me a break

Sequeing to TV it is a packed schedule as usual. Safe was pretty disappointing in the end but at least Dexter didnt start cutting down trees. 13 Reasons Why is back and after one episode realised rather quickly I no longer need to know why. Blacklist ended Season 5 on a rather bizarre reveal while one of the best shows around Brooklyn 99 was saved from the scrap heap. TV sadly often reflects life so no surprises they cancel that show and bring back Last Man Standing. Extreme Dross. Its also the year of the pointless reboots and nothing demonstrates this better, or worse, than Magnum PI. Without a moustache. Purleese

In sporting land the NRL remains a tipster’s nightmare so imagine sheilas are leading most office tipping pools. You could argue that Broncos have had the rub of the green 3 times now and hard to disagree but they wont threaten this year or next so let them be.If they can hold together the young group of forwards things look bright in 2020. Of most concern though of course is SOO 2018 which was always looking losable this year but now is rather dire. No issue with Eyelash boy pulling the plug but the timing was poor. The real concern is that if and when NSW win they could go on a multi year run and the NSW biased media will become unbearable. Again. Still

The year is certainly flying by although Feb 2019 still seems a year away. At least to Qantass . Release some cheap fare deals ya mongrels so that I can lock something in and stop changing plans to amuse myself. Latest incarnation is “Wired for Winter” which admittedly is very much in draft form, especially the title. San Diego, NYC and Baltimore. Since last we spoke Las Vegas has fallen off the table. Ah crap. Boom tish, here all week etc. It really does not seem to be my cup of tea at least as a solo visitor, the main attraction being close proximity to Grand Hole in Ground and Big Stop Water Flowing thingy. Much prefer head over to East Coast hunker down in the snow, get the flu and swear never to do it again in winter. There is a certain certainty about that.

So in the meantime its early mornings out on the golf course rearranging grains of sand and occasionally mowing some green stuff before grabbing that first coffee and working out how to fill in the remaining 12 hrs of daylight until I can drink the squeezed grape stuff. Sundays are becoming a dilemma though as my go to Sip Espresso is closed. Yeah thoughtless right. The Maccas drive through experiment failed after two weeks as it really is swill without the Mcmuffin to soak it up . Toast doesnt open now until 7 am which is almost lunchtime for me now. These are real world problems folks. Still life goes on at its usual hectic Maryhole pace. Life is good but as The Dude would say

Before we get to the elephant in the room lets reminisce about a lovely few hours spent in Toowoomba soon after return to celebrate my 60th Birthday. All kids and kidlets were in attendance and is great to spend time with the younguns as they are all at different ages. Universal joys the bunch of them

Back to reality after that which means early mornings back on golf course but its still dark at 5 am! Still pesky rain on and off too which is keeping everything nice and green but also tres muggy.

And so to Dumbo. Three words describe – not explain the inexplicable – the latest cricket debacle. Hypocrisy, Stupidity and Arrogance. Aussies have long cried foul about what other teams do with the ball etc while painting themselves as the pure guardians of the game. Meanwhile Blind Freddy knew every team does it and there was a certain acceptance. Much like the Evangelical that decries sexual perversion and then is discovered in bed with a goat – the holier than thou approach will always bite you on the ass. Not kidding # boomtish . In this day and age every cricketer knows there are 10,000 cameras at the game because that is why they get paid 10,000 a game! No one is saying JFK was a more moral president than Slick Willy – simply his actions were not reported or not discovered etc. Its a different media these days. To think you can still do anything on the field and it not be seen is stupid. Then we get to maybe the most galling. The arrogance of Smith to think he could or would still be Captain next game. Bancroft has some form in the sweet science of ball tampering it would appear from newly released footage #boomtish. Maybe he was the stooge or maybe Smith thought he could protect him. To me it smells of a Warner involvement. He aint the brightest tool in a box of rather dull implements admittedly. What then of the involvement of Boof? The video of him seeming to tell Handscombe to get out there and clue in Bancroft looks damning to say the least. To me there is an easy and typically Aussie explanation for all this.

Qantas is major sponsor

Qantas this week debuted the Dreamliner route to London non stop

Sandpaper lining of your undies is a dream way to stay awake for 6 hrs on the field

And you get non stop rash and itching

#youknowitmakessense

There is only one happy cricket follower in Australia today. Trevor Chappell. He is no longer the most reviled player in history. He got a bum rap of course simply following brothers instructions and doing something that was at least legal if not palatable. Gregory of course used the stress yarn to explain his actions – no doubt this will be mentioned in this saga as well at some stage if not already. Ding Ding. It may well be a stressful job. Kinda why you get paid $1.2 million to do it every year. Sick to death of professional sportsmen complaining about stress for playing a game. If u cant handle it get a real job – then see what real stress is when the bills roll in. Crash Craddock made a prophetic statement many weeks ago. He said Smith should forego the IPL riches and concentrate on Aussie captaincy which pays well and he can remain it for years if he reduces playing schedule and not try and make millions for a few years. All gone now. Of course the alarming difference between this and the underarm is the success of this stupid ploy is akin to McKechnie hitting the underarm ball for 6! It didnt work. Thought we had the worlds most feared bowling attack and a reserve bunch of 23 ready to move in should an ingrown toe nail flatten Starc. Yet we cant take 10 wickets unless the ball reverse swings after 20 overs? Fellas, try natural swing and seam. Line and length. Its been know to work in the past

Enough cricket, how about NRL. There are some similarities between the two – ball tampering and salary cap rorting that is. Well, one glaring one. Everyone does it. In NRL they will continue to do it because the penalties are so weak in most cases. Manly actually come out $160 k in front in this latest nonsense as Paul Kent clearly explained. NRL players may well be the only professional sportsmen who make cricketers appear smart mind you. The big question though is when is a player agent going to get fined/booted/shamed ?? One thing is certain – Broncos wont threaten in 2018. With all this crap going on all I can say is thank me for Golf – the last honest game in the world

Of course since Ireland Fling thoughts quickly moved to USA 2019 and there has been much thought and backflipping involved. Do I take the easy winter option of NYC or stick in California and do Golden Triangle.? San Diego is a lock so then question is do you then fly onto NYC and Baltimore for some winter wonderland or go to Las Vegas and Los Angeles for some glitz and glamour? At present leaning towards GT although spending time in LA especially after LV does raise some issues with filling in days. All I really need is a rough plan of when I fly in and out of LA and whether I need Qantas metal for NYC or not. That way when flight specials are released in coming weeks can move quickly and snap them up. Whether I stay 2 days in LA and 10 in LV or vica versa doesnt matter at this stage as long as know when I enter and when I leave the good old USA. These are first world problems of course but do fill in time during the day as it is the planning I enjoy most.

Certainly more than the paying at least…..

The time is flying by indeed. Only two weeks now until we leave for Ireland and have a Fling or three. Maybe even a Guinness as well. Big month all round with the big 60 approaching too

So to refresh the late comers IF involves a couple of weeks in Ireland, a few days in London and a few days in Dubai. And a lot of time at 30,000 feet . Caught one of the last Qantas A 380s that will still fly through Dubai rather than Singapore which is good as always a nice place to laze by the pool with a hubbly bubbly for a few days and destress. Have PE natch so should be relatively comfortable even on the long 14 HR legs. Hopefully CLP doesnt fall asleep in the lounge before we actually board and I have to carry her on again. Stuffing her in the overhead compartment is a bitch trust me. 60th Birthday will actually be spent in Killarney at a rather salubrious Lake Hotel and rather than renting a car we are mostly bussing it between towns. In February the weather ain’t great and the days are short and its all my Mother’s fault as I cant change when I was born. Still, should all be a hoot and great to see a new place even through the mist and rain. Wont be able to do Ireland justice in that short time of course but should get a feel for the place and can always return especially if Buffoon Bob blows up USA anytime soon

Speaking of said clown still planning USA Solo 2019 as well of course and interesting with the news of the Qantas flights to NYC from Brisbane later this year. Of course a simple post on FB has your average moron getting all excited as they cant read past a headline so assume that it is direct to NYC and also that the Dreamliner is the second coming. Wrong on both counts. A newer plane has some good features of course but they dont necessarily include comfort and space. Economy is back to the horrid 3-3-3 and Kid Curry or whoever designed the new “super recline” seats in PE didnt consider there may be someone sitting behind you! In usual Qantas style too they remove toilets every new design. Pretty soon if ya dont go before you board “your fault Sir “. Yes first world problems but I just cant stand morons or companies who treat you as morons. Thank me for forums. The real issue of course though is nutting out dates as each new version starts a week earlier to “make sure I catch winter” At this rate I may be flying there from Dubai rather than returning home. For once CLP thought I had come up with a good plan ! Hmm.

Speaking of morons 2018 sees the media , in all facets, reach new lows. A few examples. The coverage of Tomic the Tank is ludicrous. No one cares , its just channel 10 drumming up news for that jungle drivel and then he pulls out early! Cue a The Project interview. He is a flog. The Stormy Daniels crap in USA puts that in the shade of course. I though her 15s of fame was the actual sexual act with BB but she has dragged it out into a few weeks and now says “nah never happened”. She was even on Jimmy Kimmel for a nothing interview. Why ??? And then the Sophie Monk backflip. She reckons she owes Australia an explanation but as Shaun Micallef best put it “We wave that debt”

Sporting wise and in a slightly different vein but one that annoys me has been the Tiger mania with his recent return to the Tour. 5 articles a day leading up to it including what he had for breakfast the first day. Then we saw every shot he played for 4 rounds even though never in contention. First two rounds maybe, last round ridiculous! And then after it all died down – and an amazing 5 hole playoff – the same media were making another story up the next day about “was there too much coverage of Tiger” ? Ya cant make this shit up. It was in fact an impressive return especially with his short game but he is no longer “The Game” but merely another multimillionaire player in it. Great win by JayDay of course. Cricket wise it is clear that Australia has to introduce some speed limit to bowling in ODIs. As in ya cant bowl below 120 kph! Our batsmen simply cant handle the “hit and fetch” brigade and shouldnt be expected to. Hell some of them have played up to 15 days in the last month. Luckily the IPL will roll around soon and they can have a rest while they count their Tomics. Oops I mean their millions. The best thing about cricket of course is the Leibke rating s on The Roar . Always count on at least one classic line in each review but maybe my fave in recent times was about the Bradman Smith comparisons.

Still, Bradman was never caught, bowled, or caught and bowled by Moeen Ali. So plenty of stuff for Smith to work on.”

http://www.theroar.com.au/author/fake-nathan-hauritz/

In TV land have really enjoyed the development of The Detour now in its 3rd season. I started This is Us Season 2 but have simply had enough of this tragedy porn. When Rocky is the best actor in the episode you have a problem . UK drama Rellik was an interesting take on the serial killer yarn. There is certainly plenty to watch as always but must admit have enjoyed starting a rewatch of Breaking Bad for the first time. Such a smart show and already ripped through Season one in a day and a bit. Well, I still have to fit in nanna naps! Almost 60 now ya know…..

When next we meet I should be hooking in at one of a possible two Qantas Lounges tarmac adjacent in preparation for Ireland Fling . Surely will be shortened to IF I imagine. Makes you think though eh. IF a picture does paint a thousand words why would I write this nonsense every day when there are pubs still open ? Ireland is the Ring of Kerry. Here is a picture I prepared earlier. Later dudes

Yeah its been a while. Xmas has come and gone but the kgs remain along with the heat. A couple of good rain periods in between have kept the fairways green and the bunkers full πŸ˜‰

A lot of driving over Xmas/NYE to see all family and spend festive season in Brisvegas. Gathered in Burbank for the Ferdella xmas soiree and as each Della drops off a Ferguson is added. There was even a cat.

Saw kidlets at Beachmere the day before and rest of tribe in Toowoomba on Xmas Eve. All are booteeful and healthy as one would expect with these genes coursing through their bodies. Ryan continues to do very well and all onward and upward from here hopefully

Xmas Day was very quiet itself working our way through leftovers and cementing our Holiday tradition. Maybe a little tweaking still but looks like

Xmas Eve – Scrooged
Xmas Day – Die Hard
Boxing Day – Love Actually
NYE – When Harry Met Sally

And you can forget Festive Season, its Screener Season! NYE was equally quiet but did spend a pleasant couple of hours early in the day at my go to Pub in Brisvegas which oddly enough is named after me – The Charming Squire. Say what? Oh that is an “i” not an “a ” ? Oh well

After a couple of litres of the golden frothy stuff there was only room for some bubbles by 5 pm and of course my mandatory muscatel feast which sweetpea kindly provided

Of course a lot else has been happening since last we spoke. Ireland Fling is a mere 5 weeks away now and hopefully all booked and settled. There is a disturbing trend for airlines to change flights and not really tell you so always need to check these things regularly. Our first flight to Melboring was put back 45 mins which made connection tight so we changed for earlier one – not notified mind you. Our BA flight to Dublin doesnt even exist anymore but we were bumped to a later one – again no notification by “agent”. In future probably book all flights ourselves. Plans to visit Doha were scuppered a while ago so have to struggle through a few days of 5 star luxury in Dubai. No one said life was meant to be easy. USA 2019 is forming slowly and keeps getting bought forward to try and ensure get some snow but of course it still is mostly potluck although with the big freeze this year a brutal winter less likely next year I guess

In TV land mainly stick to old faves as nothing too new grabs at present. Both Wolf Creek 2 and Romper Stomper were poor. Latest season of Shameless has been very good and The Crown continues to enthrall despite its very pedestrian nature – maybe the thought of Bessie as a bit of a stunner with all that power does it. Or could be the corgis. The Canadian 19-2 cop show had a very good 4 season run and great to see Cardinal back. Blacklist has actually improved and Brooklyn 99 is consistently good while return of Will & Grace mostly sad with the insertion of Nick O last week a particular low point. Speaking of low points the Golden Globes were tres ordinary from the starting monologue to the pathetic set pieces by presenters. Never been a fan of award shows at all (apart from the offshoot of screeners natch) but they get weaker each year and more full of their own perceived importance and social standing

In sporting world the Ashes ended predictably and of course Englands poor effort covers up some glaring Aussie weaknesses. Worst fielding side for a decade and the much vaunted bowling attack lacks imagination. And of course the ugly Aussie is never more evident than when winning. I find the BBL more entertaining most days. Golf is finally back just in the nick of time even if only in Hawaii . Now we just need NRL to fire up again or at least a juicy off field scandal to get the interest bubbling

In world news hard to ignore Trumpy Von Trumpster – the “stable genius” because he shovels horse shit day in day out. He is not a political genius but rather a media manipulator and the masses fall for it hook line and sinker. While irretrievably destroying the world as we know it through legislation he does something “stupid” every second day to draw the media away from what is really going on because they and the public love the soap opera. Now we have the book simply telling us things we already know while behind the closed doors actual change is happening and the consequences will be felt for years eg off shore drilling

http://www.iflscience.com/environment/trump-proposes-to-open-nearly-all-us-waters-to-offshore-drilling/

So while a lot of time has passed nothing startling, let alone particularly humorous, has happened. Of course it has been a great time to spend with family and work on those New Years resolution.

I resolved not to make any and thus they were easy to keep.

Time is flying by indeed and I either have a very boring life now or just a lot busier ? Bit of both maybe πŸ™‚

Has been a very pleasant November weather wise with some good rain and pleasant temps over night. Has been especially good for the golf course where in fact I have been spending more time mowing on many new machines . Well at least the ones I dont break on first go. Which brings us to the bunker bike which broke down last week necessitating hand raking all bunkers on Friday. No wonder I shot 86 off the stick yesterday! To be fair with a good back it is usually closer to 90…

With November almost over it leaves only one question. Too late to start on Movember ? It is a significant month of course as Mummy’s little star Ryan turns one this week. What a tough year it has been for that little family but equally how well they have coped with each new hurdle. I know where Ryan gets his toughness from. And lets not forget the amazing team at Lady Cilento who have performed both surgeries superbly and then the parents take over and nurse him back to full health. This week he even got a normal pass for hearing so its all onward and upward form here

Growing – and I do mean growing – along side him all the way of course has been Rocky. Hopefully these guys will be pals for years to come

Across town the three amigos are all progressing well at school and life in general. Will be great to catch up with them all next weekend and then again for Xmas

Hit the highway and head east and then south and come across the little hamlet of Beachmere and the remaining two of the famed six pack are living the life only a beachside residence can offer. Little surfer dude had his booteeful locks trimmed – at his request – and suddenly looks 3 yrs older. They grow up so fast

As December approaches the fairways will just have to grow a little bit more as heading off to Melboring for a week culminating in a big family reunion – including all Dohaites – for nephew Mitch’s engagement party. Will be great to catch up with all as probably wont get to Doha next February as originally planned for reasons beyond our control. Ok I hate sand in the my jocks, ya got me. A few days at Mornington Peninsula wineries and then Healesville Gin houses should have us well primed for the party at end of week. Back home and almost Xmas which means a lot of travelling, a lot of eating, and to be fair probably usual amount of drinking πŸ˜‰ By time New Year rolls around will be getting serious about Ireland Fling only 6 weeks away. Which means the big 60 only 7 weeks away….. As a planner more than a doer this holiday has been planned and booked for a while so eyes scan the horizon for the next solo adventure which after many incarnations will mostly be Winter in America early 2019. The earlier the more wintry I guess. At some stage do need to have a white Xmas one year but that is best done with CLP in tow with all that mistletoe around

In sporting world the RLWC has been one of the more boring sporting events in recent times. Its Australia by how far and can Holmes score 7 tries next week ? Tonga has been great – as have all island nations – and were robbed in match against Poms. Maybe now all the fans of “one referee” may have a second think? First session of Ashes series always so important so was rather disappointing with the much touted Aussie pace attack largely insipid and certainly unimaginative. It may still have an interesting result. All hail Steve Smith. Marginally more likable than Pup I guess but such a reliable batsman

In world events glad to see Qld didnt quite fall heavily for the Hanson One Trick party. The Greens likely benefit from LNP disfavour and usual backlash against a sitting government. I usually enjoy election night coverage but this one was annoying. 7 and 9 seem to like their pit bull shock jock type political commentators that are simply embarrassing with Condren clearly the worst of the bunch. His questions to delegates last night were insulting and inane . No wonder 4BC sacked him. They have this smug look all the time like they are WH Press Secretary or something. Speaking of which, the best part of Twitter is when someone tries to fool the public and be one of the gang and get caught out horribly by the backlash. Yanks may be dumb at times but twitterati are both clever and savage at times. The latest one is #piegate with Shuckabee Handers.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/wtf/piegate-white-house-press-secretary-sarah-saunders-accused-of-posting-fake-photo-of-thanksgiving-pecan-pie/news-story/1fa9a5bb46155c8d95511f1910b0a5a6#.tm9df

Of course the Trump idiocy knows no bounds. Every second day he says or does something stupid with his knockback of Times Man of the Year simply the latest fake news. Not much to say really about the string of predatory behaviour surfacing now that hasnt been already said. Its a sad reflection of certain aspects of society. It is a shame though when innocent hard working people – like on the set of HOC -have their lives turned upside down by actions of one man especially when his particular proclivities were rather well known for a long time

Yeah its been a rather dull blog to be fair but just clearing the decks before next week kicks off. Always more inspired on the road. Especially if that road turns into a winery or brewery just down a bit. Its been a month to rejoice in the grandkids and their growth and that is nothing really to make fun off.

But man it does make you feel good.