The Claytons Lockdown

Posted: April 4, 2020 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

In the 70’s they developed Claytons – a non-alcoholic, non-carbonated beverage coloured and packaged to resemble bottled whisky. It was the subject of a major marketing campaign in Australia and New Zealand in the 1970s and 1980s, promoting it as “the drink you have when you’re not having a drink” . As is the Aussie way it quickly lost popularity as a drink but the name remained in our vernacular to denote an imposter if you like.

The current COVID-19 situation raises many questions of course – the first being “What happened to the first 18” ? Would generally give Scotty from Marketing a pass mark as long as he stays away from the God Botherer stuff. The problem is mixed messages and a state by state approach. It can be confusing which is another good reason to stay at home

My coffee shop has stayed open which is good as has the golf course as opposed to golf club. Golf is a game that can be played with social distancing but what exactly is the point if you cant have a beer afterwards? Not sure its a good look though – bit like J Lo going to a private session at a closed gym. I thought of offering my services to Marybhole Pathology again but with the new lab size and social distancing in place could only have 2 staff in there at any one time……..Speaking of gyms the closure here has been the biggest downside I notice. Here is one I prepared earlier

Some folk say we should all follow NZ PM for advice – except on orthodontists obviously. I suspect her main plan was to save the NZ Warriors from another dismal season but some people have proposed rather than closing borders we just get a Trump Sharpie and do some creative cartography ?

The main problem at present seems to be that many clowns dont understand social distancing and what it is trying to achieve.

Its a bit like the mask debate – experts would say the aim there is to prevent you spreading it rather than stopping you catching it. They can be buggers to wear at times though

Memes of course are sprouting up everywhere and are the only real reason to stay on social media. It certainly isnt to see what particular brain dead “celebrity” is doing today in isolation

Many people off course have to work from home including my offspring. One way to maintain a semblance of normalcy is still to do roll call in the morning

At the end of the day though if this drags on for months as predicted some creative ideas may be needed.

One thing we do all know of course is no matter how good an idea a particular activity sounds on day 1 by day 50 it starts to lose its appeal

I actually found Frasier rather boring by Day 7 to be honest….. There is plenty of great TV to catch up on though with a new season of Ozark having dropped , Better Call Saul and Homeland concluding seasons and many movies having an early digital release. The lack of live sport on TV certainly leaves a noticeable hole in the day

Travel plans of course are very much a month to month proposition. A short 5 day stay in Melboring in June is maybe a 30-70 prospect at present and really no big deal in the scheme of things. Of more concern is “What Happens in Santa Monica” planned for October. Would give that a 50-50 chance at best. Then there is NYC in February next year which should be a goer but then NYC is going to take a long time to recover methinks and may not be the same vibrant city for years. Call Me Bwana 2 is pencilled in for March 2021 at this stage but a lot of ducks have to line up and Qantas have to give us some money back. And then far off on the horizon like a big ocean liner docked off the West Australian Coast is our Viking Homelands Cruise in September 2021. There is a distinct possibility that I could be going on 3 significant overseas holidays in space of 7 months next year but it wasnt planned that way trust me and it will mean a rather bland 2020 has occurred. All first world problems of course and one does have to maintain a sense of reality and also try to save money where one can. With that in mind have already saved on my next T Shirt purchase

Signing off from Self Isolation which actually resembles my usual existence remarkably closely…

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