flashman181

When I was young man studying at QUT and still had a future I spent many happy lunch hours playing Pub Pong and Tank Battle in the Rec Room. It wasnt too long before we moved onto the Commodore 64 and thought Pitstop was something special and then the world of colour brought us Frogger and our prayers were answered. Gaming could not get any better. It did. First real gaming “PC” I had was the Atari ST and this had some brilliant games, not the least being Rick Dangerous. Then the problems started. RD 1 became RD 2 and it looked prettier but was less playable – a pattern to be repeated time and time again over the years to follow. Then it was onto an actual PC and remember friends coming over to my place because I had a 100 meg HDD! Then started playing 2 of the best games ever, in different genres, that have not been bettered for me to this day. The FPS entry was Duke Nukem and man it was fun. For your stategy/resource type game we had Command & Conquer. Simply spent hour after hour playing these games. There were acceptable upgrades to come like Red Alert etc and then we also had the AOE series which were great. And who could forget the original Warcraft! The FPS evolved into Quake which was equally simple golden fun. This was a golden era for PC gaming and more importantly they were suited for the single player – hell they even created bots so you could pretend you had friends! Sporting sims started to appear and the clear leader for me was the Links LS golf series.

Quake sadly introduced the online gamer asshole also. They may have been “campers” or simply cheats in one way or another but slowly and surely a lot of fun of online gaming started to disappear. Also life changed a bit at home with kiddies coming along and other priorities coming along. The years passed and as is the way you upgrade your computer every couple of years to keep up with the OS etc. Basically the cost of a new computer stayed much the same year after year but you got more bang for your buck. Game developers got lazy because the puters had much more grunt now so we were dazzled by the pretty colours and gee whizz sounds but the gameplay never improved. Of course we also had the gaming console explosion. Like the PC some of these original consoles had very simple but very playable games such as the Atari soccer game – many sore thumbs eventuated.

So as a reduntiree thought it would be good to get back into some game playing. Computer is suitably gruntworthy with I7 CPU and 16 meg memory etc and of course a PS 3. Bring on the fun? Noticed EA selling the C&C Ultimate collection with all 17 games – hook in! Ok the first 3 entries in the series are virtually unplayable on todays PC and the later entries lack the same degree of playability – if I want a wargame I want tanks , planes and soldiers. I dont want some sort of laser beam from space. WTF happened to Warcraft – who couldnt love Orcs and catapaults? Now we have wizards and spells. People told me Tiger Woods PGA 13 on the PS3 was great and it does indeed look great but I simply cannot master the control pad. EA also had a great online special for Battlefield 3 for only $39? Ok lets get current. Of course these days everything is a digital download and man this game took 3 days to download! Now it looks great and is certainly one of the better FPS series of recent years. Sadly it is majorly aimed towards the multiplayer arena – I understand this, I simply dont like it.

If we can dumb down our Politicians in 2013 why cant we dumb down our computers? Better still anyone got Dr Emmett Browns number?

Dont see too many fat and jolly people. There are some around and usually they have been FJ all their lives but is it genuine or simply a defense mechanism. I suspect the latter because it is hard to imagine why anyone would be fat and jolly because it is just so damn uncomfortable even when you throw on a couple of extra kgs. The guy in the Red Suit gets a a lot of press around now but is hard to imagine when he hits Australia on Xmas Eve and its 25 degrees at midnight that he has a smile on the dial wearing a full length flannel body suit with a full beard and lugging around a heavy bag of goodies. The poor old reindeers may get a few extra lashes around this latitude.

Of course this is the first festive season in 35 years where I dont have to consider whether I am working Xmas or NYE when the discussions about family gatherings start in October. Also coincides with now there are 3 x GSs to visit all at different ages with the eldest just starting to fall under the magic spell that is Xmas. So there was a trip out to Toowoomba to see GS 1-3 inclusive which included discovering a very nice B&B and then on to Brisvegas to spend a couple of days with the CLP side of the clan who are all wonderful hosts. Apart from the constant disappointment of the inaccurate weather forecasts giving one false hope it was a wonderful few days. It was also an opportunity to get back out on the old motorbike because I have been slack of late. A 2 hour ride though certainly brings home a few facts about getting old. My knee simply blew up the next day – is it just because I sat in the one position for 2 hrs? Hell I use to sit for 8 hrs in a row at work without moving with no problem?? Three days later it is still stiff and swollen and not in the good way we all dream of. Suddenly my plan to reduce my golf handicap quickly is being threatened. As if a complete lack of skill and ability was not enough of a hindrance!

An interesting development many years ago was the introduction of the elasticised waist for “maternity” clothes so that the actual genuinely fat and jolly ladies could still feel comfortable and look good and removed the need to buy potato sacks for those last 3 months. When did this creep into menswear? Now I hate shopping with a passion which is only matched by my aversion to spending more than about$30-40 on any one item of clothing. These 2 facts coincide with short quick visits to Lowes for work clothes and shorts. I normally would look at the “stout” range of pants in the 102/107 region because this gives extra room for the bedflute and is also much easier than actual dieting. Generally the cut and style were fine. Last pair I bought a few months ago suddenly had an elasticised waist in them? Then my golf shorts had the same deal?? The problem with this of course is that all sense of style and cut are gone and you simply have a larger waist but the other areas are that of a smaller size and dare I say somewhat restrictive in delicate areas. You quickly realise out on the golf course in 34 degree heat that they really do ride up with wear and no one is free let alone my boys.

Now Xmas should not be all doom and gloom – otherwise it would just be like the rest of the year. But as I sit here on the computer and look down at that one present I didn’t want from Santa – an extra roll around the old waistal area – it can be depressing. Then you realise that the Oscars will be on in a few months which can only mean one thing. Its SCREENER SEASON.

Another Festivus miracle.

As a reduntiree I dont have as much time in the day to check online news etc so much like the world my day is bookended by the South and North Poles, or in my case the 0600 and 1800 News bulletins. A quick fix of news is fine just in case the world is going to end tomorrow or something. The morning newsreaders tend to be more annoying than evening version and for God’s sake don’t hang around for any of the sparkling repartee between the hosts or you may never be able to leave. In any given period of news though we invariably have several weather updates. Have you noticed over the years how the weather presenters have become celebrities themselves though? Why one may ask when they are simply regurgitating Bureau information. Its to stop us burning their effigy in the street actually. If these clowns were only associated with presenting incorrect information, with amazing confidence given the track record, then they would be run out of town for misleading the public. In these enlightened times we cant have the busty blond weather forecaster anymore but at least in those days there was no pretense she actually knew anything about weather. The current bunch of clowns give the clear impression that not only are they graduates with honours of Weather Forecasting 101 but that they actually drop into the bureau to assist them interpret their isobars. Its the galling confidence with which they will state tonight that on Xmas day it will reach a peak of 31 degrees at 13:01 and there will be 12 mm of rain at Latitude 101 at 14:56 precisely. Fuck me – they cant even get the next 12 hours right and then they sprout forth this nonsense. Then the brain dead host joins in and says “Well I guess I better be home from the beach then at 14:55”. Every weather forecast should start with “I am sorry I totally fucked up yesterday’s forecast but I am very confident to tell you what will happen over the next 10 days”. Load up your mobile device of choice with 3 different weather apps and then just sit back and laugh as you get 3 different predictions every hour. They should invent a new game like a pokie machine where if all 3 apps line up with exact same forecast you win an umbrella. The one evolution of course has been the “flexible weather icon” that has been developed to suit the growing number of weather apps now produced. Try going to an online store and buying the emoticon of the cloud/sun/rain – you cant, because they are all sold out because that is what every single forecast is these days. A chance of this, a chance of that. The only thing not left to chance is that the forecast will be wrong. Today’s world has moved towards self service whether at the petrol bowser or the grocery store. I say give everyone free access to Weather Radar images and let us work it out for ourselves. I mean you cant even rely on ants anymore – the place has been swarming with them for weeks now and not a drop of rain. When even the insect world can be fooled by these purveyors of misinformation I say it is time to stand up and be counted.

I would suggest a walk on Parliament house tomorrow but they are predicting rain.