Hard to imagine the Blues winning at Lang Park but a lot will depend on what team Qld can put out and in particular if JT can go around one more time. To be honest he was mostly a passenger during the game but is our lucky talisman and last time I checked you dont need two good shoulders to kick goals. Slater was superb in his return but perhaps the biggest thing to take away is that NSW can still crumble under the blowtorch. Their last attacking move was hopeless and that is when Pearce does not step up. Of interest to moi was the similarity to 2015 GF. Broncos got in front and tried to protect lead rather than trying to score and then a miracle pass from Morgan won it on the siren. Sound familiar folks? Of course, barring injury, Qld wont change now and so Papali can consider himself very lucky. Overweight and out of nick. The media south of border will bleet about refs of course. Some forward passes missed, clear shepherding of kick chasers etc. Not all one sided of course and there was the blatant taking out of Slater by Woods near the end right in front of the ref that went unpenalised! Swings and roundabouts folks
Slater 9 – always dangerous and adds spark and threat to any backline movement
Gagai – 9 – class again, great finisher
Chambers 8 – solid in attack and defense
Boyd 8 – did all that was asked
Holmes 7 – quality finisher too, lacks some size
JT 7 – injured clearly but his kicks made the difference
Cronk – 6 – quiet game really
McQuire 8 – hard worker
Gillett 8 – good at times , some solid defense
Papali 4 – no impact
Smith 8 – back to scheming best in second half, some defensive lapses still
Wallace – 6 – solid, middle certainly tighter
Morgan – 7 – made most of opportrunities
Cooper 6 – never really seemed to run with purpose
Napa – 7 – tried all night, not as much impact as at club level
Hess – 6 – will be better for the run, not much opportunity
Glasby – 6 – nervous start
And of course the money boys will be wrapped with a live match at Lang Park in July. Watch the prices skyrocket 😦
Yeah its been a while. Been busy enjoying the Qld “winter” experience while it lasts. Cool nights and glorious blue sky days. Heaven on earth. The prospect of an approaching EVENT have the darts all stiffening over at Weather INC but does seem to be mainly northern NSW and creeping into Gold Coast
Speaking of the dawn of a new era and creeps from NSW, Kevvie has thrown both of “da boys” in the wheelbarrow and fronted up to the media with a new look team for SOO 2. Of course NSW media couldnt resist the dig about the “loyalty” chant which of course shows their combined IQ has them limited to the front row in any team put on the park. Qld were loyal in game 1 and it cost us big time. The irony of NSW naming same team is not lost on this LBD but it is all swings and roundabouts. QLD had a great run on continuity over last decade and it was never going to last. Scott and Inglis going down early were first signs. 7 changes are a lot but at least 4 were easy peasy – ONeill, Myles, Lillyman and Guerra had to go. Oates was a good call because although he “looked” good in game one and made no mistakes he also provided no real penetration. Wallace is the inspired call because with suspension likely we can all cry “foul” and ” rigged” when he gets a week tonight 🙂 Stirs up the supporters well. While I suspect NSW will still win in Sydney with Qld winning dead rubber to farewell JT, blooding some new blokes now will help in years to come. On the local front, no one likes to see a gifted player like Milf get injured but I for one think Broncs will do just fine with Benji there. Devoted followers know my view of Milf as one of the most overrated players pulling on the shorts and socks these days. In the meantime, here is hoping……
In TV land two media darlings – HOC and OITNB – have returned for season 5 and both show signs of maybe 4 was enough. Finished HOC and very predictable on one hand and unbelievable on the other but at least kept you engaged to a degree. If the Dark Knight tried to blackmail me so I could see season 5 of OINTB he would not get a brass razoo dear readers. Only 2 eps in and it is dull dull dull. Not sure will even finish this season but certainly wont be no binge watch. Not with shows like Fargo and BCS still going strong. For Caged Heat requirements always have Wentworth. Will save up the mind fark that Twin Peaks and American Gods will be for when suitably rested and heavily medicated
Online community is both a wonderful resource but also a place where assholes flourish in relative anonymity. I tend to peruse Trip Advisor for travel, Whirlpool for TV/Movies and LINE for in game chat. For every helpful tip on TA there is always an equally useless/sarcastic comment. Not sure what the criteria is for “TA destination expert” is but suggest it may involve ” must have left school at 15 and still living with parents at 30″ type scenario. Locked away in the attic busily spewing forth invective while baked beans are reheating. Interesting show a few years ago about how these so called “experts” had sent several businesses into bankruptcy with their reviews. Of course if you follow everything you read on TA then….
In the media world all opinions are subjective of course but the way some folk get so precious if you dare suggest that the latest season of “blockbuster” may have dipped a tad in the quality stakes is amazing. They seem to struggle with the concept that you can be critical of a show yet still watch it . If it was a new show that didnt engage in first few episodes then you would dump it but when a show like OITNB that was good at the start then you are going to keep watching it and hoping it picks up. Until that one whole bad season like with Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Didnt even come back for Season 3. The same will likely happen with OITNB Season 6. Then there are the in game forums which sadly are mostly an avenue for a sticker off contest to see who can post the cutest one combined with most inane comment. You come back after 24 hrs and the feed there are 120 messages with only one useful actual bit of info in there that you will never find. Usually have one game on the go until it gets to the point where will need a significant financial input to progress further. Rival Kingdoms was it so have walked away now. To Guardian Kingdoms 🙂 Great little game initially which became very popular. So developers opened it up worldwide and the rich Asians have now joined and the game will have a finite life as soon becomes unplayable due to the number of “big” players with even bigger online accounts. Mind you I once spent $2.99 in Candy Crush but in my defense Your Horror , it was a bitch of level. Here is hoping level 2 is easier. In general people have been pissing me off this week in case you hadnt noticed
In holiday land “Between a Rock and a Soft Red” is well bedded down with the occasional winery/foodie event added as time approaches. The Ireland Fling is at the stage where start looking at accommodation with only 2 real stipulations – must be open in February ( a bit of a deal breaker to be fair) and must provide complimentary umbrellas. That then leaves the fun part of planning USA 2019 – The Golden Triangle. This initial monica basically covers all USA trips in early stages as it involves drinking beer in 3 cities relatively close to each other 🙂 Early faves for Feb 2019 are Los Angeles/San Diego/Las Vegas but heart not quite sold yet. One problem is at least two of these are predominantly “hotel” cities which is not my ideal choice for week long stays. In trying to recreate the glorious winter holiday of 2015 flirted with Chicago again but they now have a 17% lodging tax and basically conventions 10 months of the year and for the other two are under the polar ice cap. So likely will change over time and as it is the planning that is fun not a big issue. To be honest could really go back to New York in February every year and have a great time but not particularly adventurous eh. Probably need to start thinking more seriously a year out by which stage will be in Ireland drinking Guinness.
No great surprises of course except that is was so close until the 38 th minute. That try before half time was a killer in more ways than one. It showed how brittle the middle was much like the first try. As said in other media commitments once the Blues got on a roll they could score 40 pts – they are a confidence team. They now have enough players not scarred by the last 10 yrs. Getting rid of Gallen and Farrah has finally allowed them to move on
Now its not curtains yet for QLD but is time to be brutal and of course they wont be. Myles has to go for certain. He is old, slow and a dirty player. The new players looked ok until injured but it was the old heads that didnt really stand up in JTs absence. Ratings
Boyd 6 – solid but predictable
Gagai 8.5 – ran with purpose , looked dangerous
Chambers 7 – never got clean air behind a pack going nowhere
O’Neill 3 – carried his NRL form into SOO. What a shock Kevvie
Oates 7 – did nothing wrong and scored a good try but has no zip really
Milford 6 – much like Broncos form. Looked dangerous but never really did anything
Cronk 7 – solid but blunted without JT and usually kicking from deep within own territory
Napa 7 – promising until injured
Smith 7 – like Cronk, didnt have a bad game but never took control
McQuire 7 – tried hard but lacks penetration
Gillett 6 – quiet game by his standards
Myles 3 – old and slow. Gone
Papali 6 – looks overweight and out of nick. Bought his Canberra form yada yada yada
Bench – who cares all over by then
Fifita was the standout of course and is Beetson reincarnate. Tedesco always dangerous like Maloney. Morris very solid and Hayne showed touches of class as expected
Billy has to come back and hopefully JT as well. Hard to dump Oates I guess but I still would along with ONeill, Myles, Guerra, Lillyman. Bring in Billy and Holmes and move Gagai to centres and Boyd to wing. Bring in Hess and Wallace. Like with NSW time to blood these guys – like they did with Bird etc – now even though this year is gone.
Qld wont do it of course and this series will be a 3 nil wash. Next year wont be any better because you will bring in new guys then with no experience and JT will be gone. It wont be any 10 yr dynasty but I see NSW dominating for next 2-3 yrs and the NSW biased media will be unsufferable while the players themselves, and coach, will be fine and good luck to them. Lets hope you are good winners like QLD have been the last decade
If there is one thing that gets the old Isobar pointing north for the weather folk it is the prospect of an EVENT. Only has to be a prospect mind you and of course have to shoot your load a few days early so that no chance you are actually proven wrong – 7% accuracy record not withstanding – when nothing like what was predicted actually occurs. Then if you can direct some blood flow back to above the waist you need a name. It must have taken hours to come up with THE BIG WET unless of course they were referring to their bedsheets that morning when the clouds rolled in. As we go to print we are smack back in the middle of said EVENT and it has been a tad ordinary. Now if you actually can be bothered delving into the post you may see that for this actual area it was never going to be Armageddon but that doesnt stop the all encompassing screaming headlines in the local, very dry as it turns out, rag.
Mind you at least it is a break from the usual headlines of recent weeks demanding that a 10 lane tunnel be built stat between Tiaro and Maryborough. Now dont get me wrong, road accidents are tragic in so many ways but riddle me this. Yes there have been a lot of accidents in the last 6 weeks on this stretch but the road has not changed has it?? If it was as bad as you say 2 months ago, 6 months ago why are all these accidents happening now ? Just remember be careful what you wish for. It is of course always amusing to listen to non locals refer to “Tiaro” is so many different ways
There was one headline that had the fans gasping this week. “Flash strings two good rounds together”
Now it is impossible to explain the impact of “slope” etc on the actual handicap you play with on that day to a non golfer but suffice to say it is low as my golf handicap has been from memory which these days runs as far back as April 2017! While good in one way not so good when it comes to the bets against the Burglars from Bamff that roam the course with alarming frequency
Last weekend was another Burbank gathering to celebrate the Della Patriach birthday. And just as I was starting to fit back into my clothes
Now Ant tried something different this time. Supposedly 3 bottles of 2008 Coonawarra Cab Savs to taste in a blind test. It worked. By the end I was blind. But not that blind to realise the 3rd one was actually water! Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice it must be a day ending in y
In sporting world there is an interesting contrast between cricket and NRL at present. The cricketers want to keep getting a share of revenue rather than a fixed wage and this is what the NRL players want to shift to. Seems to make sense to me – if pulling in more money surely the players deserve a slice of the pie. Conversely if they lose crowds/ratings their wages drop. What am I missing here? Showing photos of Bob Boom boy getting out of his Lamborghini is a cheap shot and missing the point. As I understand it the big names are trying to get a better deal for all levels of players including shield players. The fact that some are already obscenely overpaid is not the point. In other amusing news the QT man doesnt want to release Milford to SOO if he may just be a bench warmer. Would have to check history but wonder what similar processes he may have followed when he was SOO coach ? Speaking of SOO I suspect this is the year that the Blues start to dominate. Will largely depend on the first game of course but if they get a win early they could really go on with it for a few years. They are confidence players so if they lose the first again likely be in the foetal position in the change rooms after the game
In TV land have been watching 13 Reasons. Why? Not sure but it is engaging enough. Mind you there is so much to watch these days it is hard to fit it all in. Better Call Saul continues to enthrall even waiting week to week with the plebs. American Crime was dull dull dull so no surprise it was cancelled. Handmaids Tale continues to intrigue and would suggest Moss may have to fall off the edge of the world not to get the Emmy next time around. If only Pippa Middleton could drop off the planet. zzzzzzzzz
On that note there was an interesting article today from the makers of this show which was being shot during US Presidential elections and that how the dystopian future of Gilead was happening in real life! You become immune to a degree with the daily mistakes by Trump and just when you think he will pull back he doubles down. One can only see party revolt or impeachment in the near future and the prospect of the latter already sent some shivers through stock market. Not good for us reduntirees! Of all his stoopid statements this week – and there was a Melbourne Cup field – this one is best summed up below
So on that sombre note lets throw in a couple of T Shirts that bought a smile to my face. Yes it does happen and I have photographic evidence. Somewhere
When last we met it was April. Now it is May – this is how this monthly caper works. I wouldnt stay time is flying by but it is moving at a fair clip.
May of course is a significant month for moi for several reasons . It was a mere 15 yrs ago that CLP at last discovered her one true love. Scrapbooking. Now while scrapbooking she was throwing out photos pre 1980 and found some of her days in Maryhole and wondered what that clown in the corner sleeping was doing these days. As they say the rest is history and 15 yrs later we still see each other occasionally but exclusively. I think 🙂 In fact I think we have spent a total of three and a half weeks actually together and this could be a pertinent fact to our longevity folks. CLP drove up to Maryhole – after checking she had up to date google maps installed – on Saturday and I went to golf thus keeping our quotient in tact. We did have a lovely morning drive down to Havery Bay the next morning though for a scrumptious breakfast at Dan & Step of MKR fame and a hobble along the beach. I call it Havery Bay now because when trying to check in on Facebook that is the first option it gave me and that tickled my fancy. Of course I was sitting in the sand at the time so that could also have tickled said region I guess.
May is also a busy month birthday wise for kidlets and kicked off with Jessica turning 4 on Saturday.Hopefully get out later in month to catch up with clan. In the meantime
It was supposed to be a big weekend for Rugby League. Some players decided to make it bigger. Now it is easy to think how dumb are these players but there is some science involved actually – although clearly not with Broomstick and Sideshow Bob ( has to be some great memes around surely?)
The science involved is that you recover much quicker from a snort than 12 schooners the night before ( given those two clowns had the 12 schooners first gives them a fail mark here of course ). Average workers understand the effect of 12 schooners the night before. The real issue of course is that the NRL is so weak on this and just do the talk but not the walk. These players can do anything for a first offense and are sweet and then pull your head in – unless you are Ben Barba. If they are serious give them a whack the first time and a lot of it will stop. There is also the Damian Keogh fiasco followed shortly by the young player at Cronulla which is a whole different issue.
In TV land Billions ended with enough tease to hook you back in easily next season. One of the top 3 shows on year in year out. Another strong contender would have to be Line of Duty which just finished Season 4. Certainly the best cop show on at present. For some reason I stayed with Last Man on Earth and was suitably rewarded with the appearance of Wiig. Whether it makes another season is debatable though. American Crime Season 3 is the weakest so far early on – hope it picks up. Veep is still very good if a tad uneven but certainly has some of the most memorable lines week in week out
In Holiday land all things are a bit quite on the western front. North, South and East too for that matter. Both holidays on the horizon are at the well planned stage so on back burner which can only mean one thing – time to plan next USA solo trip! Not helped by the fact that my Facebook feed is full of wonderful memories form 6 yrs ago
As winter approaches and the sun sleeps in devoted fans would know that at 5:59 am , if not out on Golf Course rearranging footprints, I head out on the highway to Sexie Coffee for my caffeine hit. I was a little concerned I was still half asleep when I noticed the speed limit signs this morning. Then I remembered this how we denote a 90 k zone here
Of course here in God’s country we all have our Get out of Jail Free card if pulled over
And finally your good old Uncle Flashy is always here to help and edumacate the masses. In keeping with this goal here is the much searched for instructional video on “How to lick Pussy” . You can thank me later
There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the colt from old Regret had got away,
Would he join the wild bush horses even if frost be on the ground,
And all the lips would be cracked that day ?
All the tried and noted forecasters from the stations near and far
Had mustered at the news station overnight,
For the clowns said nightly temps could fall to single digits
So Horsie went back to his stable “I aint going to be Frigit”
The End
It was a slow news week admittedly with only the spectre of WW3 hanging over our heads so it was natural that copy editors scrambled for worthwhile news. I believe in their contracts there is a clause requiring that at least 10% of all reporting is weather related and with the thrill of record heatwaves all but a distant memory they were panicking. Still difficult to justify the headline on Wednesday – you know the day after Anzac Day – in the local Fraser Coast Chronically Ill “What does the cold snap mean for the Fraser Coast” ? Hard to say which is more of a concern – the headline is considered news or that there were 347 comments and likes. For investigative purposes only I clicked on the link – and taken to a subscription page if I wanted to read the article! Ya cant write this stuff. Hey, I could be a news reporter too then 😉
Speaking of Maryhole the Pub Fest is on tomorrow so Bogan Central on Dole Day suddenly expands city wide with many blow ins to make up the numbers. Use to be June Long Weekend and now punted to May Day weekend. In a few years it will be an extended lunch on Sunday August 3rd so get in quick and see if you cant get those weather updates of the front page by dressing up and making a fool of yourself hanging from a Mary Poppins statue with an umbrella back door adjacent.
Anzac Day continues to gain gravitas each year which is of course a great sign in this otherwise me me me society we live in. Me me me stayed in bed but my thoughts were with them – at least until Sexie Coffee opened at 6 am. I was able to listen to the live broadcast of the wreath laying ceremony and observe my minutes silence. Well 3 actually – not sure that new drive through system is working well fellas 😉 Of course it wouldnt be Anzac Day without some “controversial statement” and Anthony Mundine was out of the country so passed on that baton. Good folk were suitably shocked and horrified and then we moved on. If I were to make the effort again sounds like the Elephant Rock ceremony at Currumbin would be the one to attend which would have a certain symmetry to it given all of the wonderful childhood memories associated with said place. Sadly Tony Abcess was there so lets address the elephant in the room. Oh, rocks cant talk? Ok lets move on.
In sporting land Broncs got rub of the green second week in a row. Now the QT man could whine for Australia but his comment about accepting bad calls as part of the game is still valid. Coaches will always blame bad decisions rather than the teams 33% completion rate or a Burgii committing more foul play etc. The best wins are always those against adversity. Just ask the Gallipoli veterans. Whats that – we didnt win that one ? Ok, bad example but you get my point. Some of our best SOO victories were in such circumstances but there have been so many now hard to recall exact year #10isthenew11. One thing we do know though is that Broncs need Jimmy the Jet on the field to advance far into any end of season shenanigans. Much like Cowboys with JT etc. Only exception to the rule is Rabbitohs – end of season success is inversely proportional to how many Burgii play each week.
In TV land Bosch Season 3 was great and simply put is the best cop procedural around at present. Cleverly blends a couple of Connolly novels into one story – much like a batch of Anzac biscuits – and also continues story from previous season. Bates Motel finished a mostly great 5 season run with a suitable conclusion at least for those who knew it was based on the Ed Gein yarn rather than Anthony Perkins doing a spell in the looney bin in between spells of mayhem and naughtiness. Has limited the chance of a revival – never say never – down the track unless Norma comes back in Disneys Frozen 2. I’m here all week, try the veal. But make sure it is thawed out. Billions continues to impress and Gotham returned with the final emerging of The Riddler. Just need Catwoman to emerge out of her suit next week and it will be compulsory viewing in this household
In Travel news Qantas have announced direct flights from Perth to London starting next year – one week after we fly over. Now I dont consider this bad luck per se as not convinced that the Dreamliner is all that great especially in the cheap seats caper. We like a stop over in Dubai anyway so all in all lucky we were still able to do our trip with Qantas as Emirates dont offer PE of course. Speaking of travel I usually scan the travel forums like TA in the late afternoon over a glass of Chateau de Chasselas. Here I am with a few mates just yesterday
Now these forums can be very useful but are also the haunts of many assholes who delight in derogatory and sarcastic replies to simple questions. Guess it is the pinnacle of their pathetic lives to appear to know something more than someone else. I have set myself up as a Maryhole TA expert but as yet have had no enquiries . Odd eh. Speaking of assholes I do hope this new trend takes off like a Qantas Pantyliner direct to Timbuktoo
Speaking of Ireland in 2018 I think this is the famous Ring of Kerry everyone talks about ?
My FB feed has way too much junk in it but every now and again one jumps out from some obscure source that raises a chuckle. Here is one I prepared earlier. While the Anzac Biscuits were cooking
I also made the mistake this week of joining a FB group “Dad Jokes” for a few hours only to have my feed flooded with some of the lamest stuff you could ever hope for. In between the crap of course always a couple of nuggets which will leave you with this week.
No new celebrity deaths aware of, no mushroom clouds and no splinters from my cross work. All in all a good week I guess
Did kick off with a chocolate festivus cleverly disguised as Easter and the start of a run of about 3 months of short weeks. Can I just say as a reduntiree I hate public holidays – really cuts into the time available to do my 15 mins work a week on the Golf Course. Um, hours I mean. Easter of course means a gathering of the Della Clan at Burbank, minus the young campers. As always plenty to eat and drink – including marshmallow a la ash – but was amused when Ant bought out a bottle of White. Yeah we will drink that rather than hook into the perfectly cellared St Hallet Shiraz. Duh. Also began a new tradition of the 500 Cup. Now 500 for me is a lot like Chess with their strategies like the Chekhover Variation of the Sicilian Defence. For me it was the Maryhole Variation of the QUT Luncher . Like CLP, honed my 500 game at QUT but then was able to refine it sligltly while working at Maryhole Pathology in the early days. It is amazing how you can fit in 17 games in your 10 minute tea break when everyone knows what they are doing. And they were QUT boys to start with. They cleverly split CLP and me though and I played with Ant while CLP took on Claude. Claude learnt in Sicily and Ant I think in a winery between bottles of red 🙂 Only joking MATE! Now this is not real 500 as Misere is not allowed which makes for rather tepid bidding in my view. In Maryhole , things didnt get interesting until 9 No Trumps as a blocking move started. Fondest memory is Dazza going 9 NT, picking up Joker and Ace in the kitty and still lamenting “Damn, one trick short “. There is of course no right way or wrong way to play (rules not withstanding ) but partners need to understand each others play and we will continue to work on that. At present stands at 1 all after 3 hours of 7 spades bids 🙂
Easter , sadly, is also associated with road chaos which amazingly seems to get worse each year. I leave early and travel in opposite direction to the masses. There was a tragic fatality just south of Maryhole on Easter Monday for which exact reason not quite known but it isnt the quality of the road folks. However many, including politicians, still call for money to be spent upgrading a perfectly acceptable road. They wont be happy until it is 4 lanes from Cairns to Brisbane. Never happen but if people keep complaining about it then they will do what they did around Gympie. Buy 4 road signs for $20 and bung a 90 with a red circle around it for the “trouble spots”. Then see the impatience and frustration increase on busy days. And of course they will throw in a radar or two and actually make money!
In sporting world sick and tired of all the NRL player movement news, fake news and click bait. Worst proponent in my experience is Triple M on FB with screaming headlines like “Massive News out of Wests Tigers” and the accompanying comment “Wow” . Click……and…….. “there could be news as early as next Monday on the fate of Tedesco and Woods” . Unfollowed. Not sure why Tiger Woods is even news anymore. More back surgery, not playing again this year. Did he play this year? I forget.
Holiday wise has been a bit hectic with trying to finish plans for “Between a Rock and a Soft Red” in September and cement plans for “Galway, Guinness and Gorges” (note early days, reserve right to change when have more time to think of something smart AND hilarious) in February 2018. Just worried may have booked a wine tour in Clare Valley only to find it is the one in Cork, Ireland and not South Australia! Uluru is certainly looking like a jam packed few days with Field of lights, Olgas and even a Segway around the base of Uluru to name a few highlights. Dublin and London Accomodation sorted and all flights booked. Now just wait on North Korea to stuff it all up
In TV land Broadchurch Season 3 was weak and 24 Legacy left none. Billions Season 2 is looking the goods as expected and Girls finished a mostly enjoyable 6 season run well. Just glad to get one lasting image of Lena Dunham naked to keep me warm this winter. Veep returned with usual quality and looking forward to Bosch Season 3 this weekend followed shortly by new House of Cards. Its a busy life on the couch. And not just the one in the Doctors office trust me.
Today though is most memorable for an event 10 years ago. I went to work. Ah sorry, no I meant the wedding of Number One Son (and only one actually, thus making it easier to remember) Tony and his lovely wife Leigh. They now have 3 wonderful kiddies and well settled into full on family life in Toowoomba . Don’t get to see them as much as I should or would like but know they are doing very well and that is all a parent can wish for. And plenty of photos 😉
In stunning news this week we are still heading to Ireland in February next year.
The blurring of “news” reporting and social media was never more clear than yesterday afternoon when my local weather feed on FB sent out an alert. The temperature would drop to 14 degrees overnight! I realise these folk get a tad forlorn when no apocalyptic event on the horizon but this is a new low – bit of weather humour for ya there – even for them. Speaking of a disappearing bar the folk at Today have done it again. Your average viewer is a bit thick so we need to have someone – lets call him Karl – sit in a dingy and row up and down the street because the fact that the top of the street sign is only 1 cm above the water level isnt enough evidence about how much water is there. Being your typical ocker millionaire of course he had to row past the pub and ask for a beer from the men on the verandah – classic Mike Moore cringe. Now if they really wanted to portray a true Aussie image have a croc jump out of the water and swallow him whole. Alas, even though they evolve slowly even your average croc cant swallow Karl. Then we had the image of the 9 dingy almost hitting the 7 dingy heading the other way. Ya cant write this stuff.
It was a week that would always be dominated for me by the best Sports viewing all year – the final nine at Augusta – and it did not disappoint. There are players you never want putting for your life – Greg Norman , Adam Scott, Sergio Garcia to name a few. Every now and again though they do putt well and become world beaters and there was never a more mixed bag then Sergio over last few holes. The putts on 16 and 18 were woeful while in between some clutch putts on 15 and 17. Jordan Spieth , who you would like to putt for your life, still has some demons at 12 and does some strange things at times for such an experienced player. Once Scotty missed two relatively easy putts in first 3 holes it was all over. And of course once again a couple of multimillionaire golfers showed all other multimillionaire sportsmen how to behave with class under pressure.
Homeland finale was ok but also a bit disappointing after a promising season. We know it has at least 2 more seasons and it ended with that in mind. Broadchurch has been pretty good this season as long as you can accept every man in the town is clearly an asshole. It is clearly a ploy writers use to expand the suspect pool but it does jar a bit in this particular instance. Prison Break is back ? Familiar faces too. Tried Prime Suspect 1973 but it was cod ordinary. Prefer to see Helen Mirren at 73 to be honest. Line of Duty on the other hand continues to shine
It was also a week that the world lost Don Rickles and for once there was not an outpouring of emotion – “oh gawd he was only 90, taken so young” – but rather a celebration of his peculiar comedy. I always found him hit and miss but when he hit he hit with the best of them. And then the curtain fell. Yesterday came the terrible news of the passing of John Clarke. This one hit hard. Some people love his early work like Fred Dagg and some prefer his later Clarke and Dawe gig but for me it will always be The Games. In a Melbourne Cup field of memorable episodes cant go past the 100m track. These episodes are so chock full of gems you can easily forget that apart from the classic dialogue surrounding the 100m track this is also the episode with Robbo’s Press conference and Kevin Nowra!
John Clarke: I don’t understand then, Mr Wilson, why in the construction of a 100-metre track you would want to depart too radically from the constraints laid down for us by the conventional calibration of distance.
John Clarke: Mr Wilson. Do you know who is the current 100 metres all-comers Australian record holder?
Mr Wilson: Can I guess?
John Clarke: There’s not much point in guessing.
Mr Wilson: Is he an African American?
John Clarke: He’s not an African American, no.
Mr Wilson: Is he that Canadian from Jamaica?
John Clarke: No, he’s not a Canadian from Jamaica.
Mr Wilson: I give up.
John Clarke: The 100-metre record in this country, Mr Wilson, is currently held by Bryan.
Mr Wilson: Bryan?
Bryan Dawe: Yes.
Mr Wilson: Congratulations.
Bryan Dawe: Thank you.
John Clarke: A new mark, Mr Wilson, set at a blistering session last Wednesday. I wish you’d been there. We were down there and we had a bet.
Mr Wilson: Was this wind assisted?
John Clarke: No, and we’d had a couple, and in my view Bryan is not in quite the nick he was in at the same stage of last season.
On Monday as usual caught up with latest Clarke and Dawe on You Tube – Cyclone Malcolm. Clever as always but there is likely concensus that the most memorable one was “The Front fell off” Here is one I prepared earlier – circa 1991.
Both of these classics show the typical Clarke humour which, in my experience, was unique. Luckily we can always sit down and catch up with them at our leisure but it is sad to think there will be no more new material.
Not as sad of course as for his family and loved ones. All things are relative. RIP Fred Dagg
To be fair the weather bureau nailed this one. Despite referring to 127 different models they were following in days leading up to “CATASTROPHIC EVENT” their preferred option has proven mostly correct. And havent there been some tents in news reporters pants. There is of course a certain fascination with disaster – as long as not happening to you directly – but a 5 min update every 2-3 hrs would give us all the info we need. We dont need 24/7 coverage of Debbie unless coming from Dallas which of course lead to the many peurile references to blow jobs etc. When not in the gutter many headlines seemed to have a military slant like “SHOCK AND AWE”. I would indeed be shocked and awed if the news stations didnt always try and turn this into a ratings war everytime. Only watching a few mins every day likely meant I missed many of the more ridiculous lead ins in a Melbourne Cup field but these ones caught my ear
Karl Suffinnoidea on 9 – “Dont want to make this bigger than it is” then crossed to one of their 23 “live” reporters just in Bowen – coming to you from top of a Palm tree already on a 45 degree slant
Reporter ” Police have pleaded with sightseers to stay off the roads. We have been driving around all night and noticed many cars on the road stopped and looking” Hey Shit for Brains did you happen to notice most of them had signs on their doors like 7,9,10 NEWS ?? #oxygenwasters
And the latest and greatest this morning around 6 am. Flashing lights and screaming headlines for latest Nine News Alert “We have been notified that Brisbane will receive a months rain today and many suburbs will have flash flooding. Which suburbs will be affected? Dont miss tonights special bulletin at 6 pm only on 9” You know, several hours after all the suburbs have been flooded and people stranded. You can’t write this crap
Naturally this rain has impacted even on me. No golf yesterday and no golf course work today unless want to go scuba diving for the bunker rakes. More importantly though had a lot of driving planned for this weekend to Brisbane to see the white sheep of the family in transit from Doha and also The Six Pack at Beachmere and Toowoomba. The rain will have passed but just have to keep an eye on road closures. Just hope drive through at Maccas isnt closed!
In TV land there seems to be a raging business now for PPs ? Prosthetic Penises that is . First up Phil – Trumps fave character on The Americans – let it all hang out and a little to the side on Girls. Then Eric whipped it out on Big Little Lies – and it was all the former. Ya with me ? Our Nic gave him a serve literally and all he can say now is “Juice” ? May not have been a foot fault but certainly 8-9 inches. Girls has actually been very good in this its last season and Big Little Lies is certainly absorbing if a little soapy. Our Nic is flashing it all about and why not if look that good at 49 ? Bates Motel has been uneven although had an interesting twist on the good old shower scene. Good Fight is a poor substitute for Good Wife and trying to be too smart with all the Trump tie ins while Homeland obviously expected a Hilary win. Bellevue is an ambitious project which will need to be on its game to tie up a complex story. Saving up Broadchurch, Americans, Line of Duty etc for full season binges
In sporting world Aussies came close but really it just goes down as a 2-1 loss in India. Sick of all the sledging on both sides to be honest. Warner failed big time and one wonders where Ussie was ? A dour Number 3 would have been handy. Aussies need big 3 firing to win – Smith, Warner and Starc – and only had 1. Skull is mostly known for his dry wit but has a very good cricket brain and really nailed Warner’s Sub Continent batting woes on Back Page. NRL is a tipsters nightmare as usual early in the year
Nothing more to say really about US Politics as just one disaster after another but nothing changes. Fox still support Trump with the most biased reporting have seen for years while CNN put a different spin on everything. Officially bored with it all folks, just press the button. The flush button that is, not that shiny red one ya goose!
And finally Europe 2018 is all locked in or as locked in as one can be this far out. That is , airfares are booked and paid. We know when we leave, where we land and when we arrive home. Everything else is in the ether at present although most time will be spent in Ireland driving from pub to pub. Apparently. Sounds like a solid plan to moi
Would be nice eh. Devoted followers and even casual stalkers would know that next year to celebrate still being on the airy side of dirt after 60 yrs we were going on a slightly longer than 3 hr cruise on Queen Elizabeth. The big boat, not the monarch. It was a snappish decision but I was rather chuffed with the clarity that the decision had been based on because as that magic big number approached I had noticed a certain dithering in my deliberations of late. In fact
Then Seattlandia came and passed and more focus came upon “Da Cruise” . It was surprisingly difficult to get a one way fare to San Francisco. I started reading some daily blogs on what they do on “day at sea” to fill in time. It seems mostly crochet something or attend lectures on how to crochet something. One could say well we would just grab a beer and sit on the deck and let our troubles, and US$, float away. They dont miss ya for the drinks trust me. Now the cruise was already on the expensive side and was now coming to terms with many of the hidden costs and then add in shore excursions and the number was growing. Perhaps the final rivet in the coffin was the news that QE was being refitted in May to squeeze in more cabins and relocate the Chart room to a dinghy tied to the stern. Its a sign of the times – even reading the Qantas A380s will do away with the grand staircase to squeeze in another 30 seats or so. We were never Cruise geeks but thought Cunard gave us a chance to escape the Fairstar crowd. It likely still does but maybe the gap is narrowing while the prices rise. When I realised that I had been following the refit of Queen Victoria and its current cruise with fervour for a couple of weeks I knew my heart wasnt in it – given we were sailing on the QE and I had forgotten! So the dream was
The reality was
So what to do then? Time for some caution as our deposit on the cruise had now sunk without trace and would likely do some money on our insurance cover which I have to say – T&Cs not withstanding – seems a bit rich when holiday is 10 months away! So it took at least an hour to come up with the possible scenarios
1. Europe – Ireland to be specific. Always appealed and does suit as a couples destination with driving and B&Bs involved – and someone to do the laundary. If only they liked a drink now and again. Pick up some money as a new character in Games of Thrones – Season 9 – The Mountain Meets His Match. Could drop into Doha on way through and see the over achiever Ferguson brother on the way and also see London. It will have been 10 yrs since been to UK. Its February so not ideal weather but a bit hard to get Mum to change my birthdate now. Travel between UK and Ireland seems easy and who knows may still get to sit on Queen Elizabeth. The flights are less fun as longer and also less chance of a PE on Qantas – although not impossible. BC on Emirates is a bit expensive although mixed fares are possible. All things are possible of course depending on budget. Mind you could probably get a few BC seats and still come out ahead of da cruise budget.
2. USA – New Orleans appeals as a couples destination as does Charleston. The places want to visit are a fair distance apart and once again likely involve car hire. May dip into Florida and see some great Golf Courses along the way and smack a few alligators around – you know the poor man’s crocodile. Pussies. Fly into San Fran first or maybe Dallas. Some internal flights involved. Research would likely highlight some great places to see along the way but at present they aint jumping off the page. Driving down California coast is off the roster due to damage around Big Sur etc. USA is an easier place to visit solo of course but not when driving may be involved. If I was 66 then it would be a cinch – Route 66 across the country. Done. I think Route 60 is in Bumfuck, Idaho and I aint going to no Trump compound even if they have great potatoes.
3. Tiaro – At least it gets plenty of rain having no Dome
To be fair 3 is unlikely. If I had to pick a number now
However we will get together this weekend at Flashman INC HQ, Sunshine Coast and investigate further. Maybe there is a fourth option. I hope not 🙂 Donated too many brain cells in Seattlandia to deal with that
Watch this space
Although to be fair you will get more info if you actually read the next blog and stop staring at a blank space. Common sense really when you think about it
flashman181 