The Week That Was – 11 April 2017

Posted: April 10, 2017 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

In stunning news this week we are still heading to Ireland in February next year.

The blurring of “news” reporting and social media was never more clear than yesterday afternoon when my local weather feed on FB sent out an alert. The temperature would drop to 14 degrees overnight! I realise these folk get a tad forlorn when no apocalyptic event on the horizon but this is a new low – bit of weather humour for ya there – even for them. Speaking of a disappearing bar the folk at Today have done it again. Your average viewer is a bit thick so we need to have someone – lets call him Karl – sit in a dingy and row up and down the street because the fact that the top of the street sign is only 1 cm above the water level isnt enough evidence about how much water is there. Being your typical ocker millionaire of course he had to row past the pub and ask for a beer from the men on the verandah – classic Mike Moore cringe. Now if they really wanted to portray a true Aussie image have a croc jump out of the water and swallow him whole. Alas, even though they evolve slowly even your average croc cant swallow Karl. Then we had the image of the 9 dingy almost hitting the 7 dingy heading the other way. Ya cant write this stuff.

It was a week that would always be dominated for me by the best Sports viewing all year – the final nine at Augusta – and it did not disappoint. There are players you never want putting for your life – Greg Norman , Adam Scott, Sergio Garcia to name a few. Every now and again though they do putt well and become world beaters and there was never a more mixed bag then Sergio over last few holes. The putts on 16 and 18 were woeful while in between some clutch putts on 15 and 17. Jordan Spieth , who you would like to putt for your life, still has some demons at 12 and does some strange things at times for such an experienced player. Once Scotty missed two relatively easy putts in first 3 holes it was all over. And of course once again a couple of multimillionaire golfers showed all other multimillionaire sportsmen how to behave with class under pressure.

Homeland finale was ok but also a bit disappointing after a promising season. We know it has at least 2 more seasons and it ended with that in mind. Broadchurch has been pretty good this season as long as you can accept every man in the town is clearly an asshole. It is clearly a ploy writers use to expand the suspect pool but it does jar a bit in this particular instance. Prison Break is back ? Familiar faces too. Tried Prime Suspect 1973 but it was cod ordinary. Prefer to see Helen Mirren at 73 to be honest. Line of Duty on the other hand continues to shine

It was also a week that the world lost Don Rickles and for once there was not an outpouring of emotion – “oh gawd he was only 90, taken so young” – but rather a celebration of his peculiar comedy. I always found him hit and miss but when he hit he hit with the best of them. And then the curtain fell. Yesterday came the terrible news of the passing of John Clarke. This one hit hard. Some people love his early work like Fred Dagg and some prefer his later Clarke and Dawe gig but for me it will always be The Games. In a Melbourne Cup field of memorable episodes cant go past the 100m track. These episodes are so chock full of gems you can easily forget that apart from the classic dialogue surrounding the 100m track this is also the episode with Robbo’s Press conference and Kevin Nowra!

John Clarke: I don’t understand then, Mr Wilson, why in the construction of a 100-metre track you would want to depart too radically from the constraints laid down for us by the conventional calibration of distance.
John Clarke: Mr Wilson. Do you know who is the current 100 metres all-comers Australian record holder?
Mr Wilson: Can I guess?
John Clarke: There’s not much point in guessing.
Mr Wilson: Is he an African American?
John Clarke: He’s not an African American, no.
Mr Wilson: Is he that Canadian from Jamaica?
John Clarke: No, he’s not a Canadian from Jamaica.
Mr Wilson: I give up.
John Clarke: The 100-metre record in this country, Mr Wilson, is currently held by Bryan.
Mr Wilson: Bryan?
Bryan Dawe: Yes.
Mr Wilson: Congratulations.
Bryan Dawe: Thank you.
John Clarke: A new mark, Mr Wilson, set at a blistering session last Wednesday. I wish you’d been there. We were down there and we had a bet.
Mr Wilson: Was this wind assisted?
John Clarke: No, and we’d had a couple, and in my view Bryan is not in quite the nick he was in at the same stage of last season.

On Monday as usual caught up with latest Clarke and Dawe on You Tube – Cyclone Malcolm. Clever as always but there is likely concensus that the most memorable one was “The Front fell off” Here is one I prepared earlier – circa 1991.

Both of these classics show the typical Clarke humour which, in my experience, was unique. Luckily we can always sit down and catch up with them at our leisure but it is sad to think there will be no more new material.

Not as sad of course as for his family and loved ones. All things are relative. RIP Fred Dagg

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