flashman181

So, Old Whiskers really tacked on some extras when putting together this particular unit but feel he may have slipped in an extra X chromosome at some stage in the process if only to give the other suckers a chance. I say this because of certain characteristics I have noticed that if anything getting worse/better with advancing years. Does my ass look big in these jeans? …. oops sorry that just slipped out. No , I refer to a propensity to spend money while also maintaining the ability to change my mind regularly. If I could work out how to remove stains from laundary then I would indeed have cracked the Sheila trifecta

So despite earlier claims and false prophecy I will indeed to return to USA solo early next year. I would like to suggest this is due to the overwhelming protests of my devoted followers with the prospect of no US travel blogs for 24 months but given I get exactly zero feedback that one wont hold water. So lets be honest here. I do it because I love it and see travel as an enriching experience all round and an opportunity to share that experience with no one. Apparently. Having the personality that craves company and loves to hear the thoughts of others at every opportunity this occasionally can depress but I shall soldier on because that is the type of shemale I am. I could argue that living in an area that managed a 20% vote for Hanson recently would imply that indeed the end of world is nigh so why save for retirement (oops already there )but in reality that is a very minor point. After all it is going to be the brain eating garden variety alien that gets us in the end and they will hardly drop in here first up after that vote count hits the world wide webby thing.

I will be travelling to USA in 2018 with CLP for my 60th (birthday that is, not USA visit) and doing a California road trip in part and visit Las Vegas so what is left to see having flogged the East coast in recent times ? Seattle and Portland I hear you say. Well yes you would be right and maybe even dip a toe into Canada at Victoria. Gotta be some likable Victorians somewhere in the world right ?Now had been thinking about this on and off for a little while but in a minor sign of latent financial responsibility had determined could not go unless got good deal on airfares and what was the chance of that given my one caveat “Give me Premium Economy or give me Death”. I even mentioned it to our regular travel agent in passing just for a laugh and then went back to Game of Thrones repeats as you do. Well, lordy lordy an email popped up later that morning. “there is a great special on PE to LAX return but ends close of business today. Can you pay by then or at least agree to sell a kidney ?” In this cold weather I need both kidneys but was able to cobble together the money and before you could say “looming poverty” I was booked and then the planning began. The first question obviously was ” do I really want to go to Seattle and Portland” where upon the clear answer was “a bit late now ya clown” . I do enjoy the whole planning part of the holiday once the rough dates are outlined as determined by booked flights duh! The time of year – Feb/March – is not ideal for this area but then who can predict weather eh. Locals in Seattle and Portland apparently given some comments in forums! Anyhoo, last time I checked most pubs have roofs and a place to store umbrellas

So stay tuned devoted fan for updates. And for Gods sake find some mates and spread da word will ya

Later.

Unless I change my mind again of course……

Back in my productive era, and especially in the 80s, we regularly interacted with Company Reps as they traveled the state peddling their wares. These were good times with no FBT or Drink Driving laws. Ok, one of them is a sensible law true. No work was done after 5 pm but plenty of play and so originated the best morning after diet – TCTS and a quart of strawberry milk around 10 am the next day. Of course back then, like with most things sadly, could go again the next night …….. One such rep was Bernie Cooper and so when planning a weekend touring the South Burnett Wine region with CLP were pleasantly surprised to see he and wife Judy now run a Winery and B&B. If you are going to do justice to a winery visit then I think a bed on site is a must. And a short walk downhill to such lodgings

http://cranewines.com.au/

Of course first up was a visit to the Grandsprogs and there is a smattering of them in Toowoomba. It was Jessica’s birthday last week and Pat the Lad’s this week. Caught up with D2 as well and then started the trek with a sadly sick (and getting worse) CLP as my tour guide and navigator. She was so sick that she was my Girl Friday but didnt turn up until Saturday! So ensuring she only coughed to the left we headed off to first stop Bunnyconellen where there was not a rabbit in sight. Low energy place but lovely hosts and so hooked into first wine for the day. And an olive for the protein value. Then onto Kingaroy and the Taste South Burnett store in town. Sort of a multi cellar door for those that cant be half assed to drive down a dirt road to an actual cellar door. Our host Shannon could talk under wet cement if only to highlight the year and texture of the gravel but we had a very enjoyable ploughmans lunch. Bet he was pissed off when he came back to his table and saw his lunch gone but this is the country fella. Then onto our winery and our wonderful hosts. Unpack and hook into the cellar door as you do but had to take it easy as had a special dinner (with hosts) planned that night and given our location driving would be involved. However I am a gracious guest if nothing else so when Bernie suggested we have a drink before we head out I could hardly say no. Let alone speak. So our little group of 4 shared two bottles of the local bubbles and then headed off for dinner at the rather amazing Cassis at Booie. If you ever get the chance go there, it is simply excellent fare and great value

http://www.cassisrestaurant.com.au/

Next morning we woke up. Surprisingly. Today was a driving tour of wineries on da loop through Moffatdale but first a visit to the Lavender Farm. Prince would have been happy and we did see the only gay in the village. And we had lavender scones for some reason. Still picking it out of my teeth but my breath is to die for. Then onto our first winery – Clovelly Estate – which despite big signs on main road saying “OPEN” it was in fact closed once you drove down obligatory dirt road. Ok, early on. Next onto Bridgeman Downs with clear sign stating “Cellar Door Open”. Sounds promising. “Ah no sir we can only sell wine with food”. What is this?? Have I passed through a wormhole and entered the fucking cheese shop sketch from Monty Python? This crap could drive me to drink. If only I could find one! They say the third is the charm and for once they were right. We went onto Dusty Springfields Winery on a Hill and had a great time at cellar door and then onto lunch at Prendergast’s Irish Tavern on site. All that was left then was complete the loop back through Wondai et al and a last stop at the Peanut Van. I naturally assumed it would be in the shape of a cashew but was sadly disappointed. Time then for a relaxing few hours back home before we ate our hot breakfast pack from that morning for dinner as you do when you have a big one the night before. BBQ on site and even had some left over for breakfast next morning before hitting the road and heading home to Flashman Inc @ Sunshine Coast

Was a lovely weekend and would highly recommend visiting the region and both staying at winery and eating at Cassis. This will become a regular weekend retreat for us methinks when time, money and liver allow. Sadly CLP did not improve over the weekend so had her put down the next day

And by down I mean tucked up in bed with butter menthols and a box of tissues. All I needed was ear plugs.

Qantas flight left NYC a little late but I was feeling no pain and we made up time in the air.

There are 36 PE seats available of which only about 10 were occupied. Including the one next to me of course! BC was full, so dont really understand why more people dont upgrade to PE for the trip as far superior product to economy and relatively good value. Anyway as soon as left ground could move around but the guy next to me was quicker and got up first 🙂 Arrived in LAX on time and so went to lounge and even had a shower. Next time I will use the designated cubicles. Didnt need anything to eat or drink at that time of night trust me. The Qantas flight to Brisbane is always a full one and boards early and then sits on tarmac for 60 minutes. Had a Chatty Cathy (MALE, the worst kind) next to me and that was ok for a start but 20 minutes is my limit so then opined “Gee with the Qantas safety record one of these has to fall out of the sky soon eh” with my most hopeful grin. He shut up. On a side note, it is pretty clear that the old days of chicky babes as hosties are long gone – as is that term no doubt. This is not a complaint as the service and attitude is generally excellent although pretty sure I saw my mother serving in Economy and she was still dishing out the LA Dinner as we flew over Straddie at 6:45 am! Arrived in Brisvegas on time and it is a fairly smooth move through Customs etc. My sweet CLP was there to pick me up and before you could say “Straighten my Banana” I was first in Nambour and then sweating in Maryhole before afternoon tea. So some final thoughts on USA as may never return. Yeah right

1. USA is a great destination although one needs to factor in conversion rate. The people are generally friendly and helpful and service uniformly excellent

2. Dallas was an interesting place and would love to explore Texas more as realise Dallas is not all that reflective. Dealey Plaza was one of those surreal places to visit

3. Washington has some of the most iconic monuments to visit but not a lot else so about 5 days is enough. I do not get to explore the dining options much as a solo traveller

4. Boston is a great town to walk around and a great drinking/eating town with plenty options.

5. May finally be over NYC but really it is a must visit for any first timers and a very high energy city with its own vibe. I had no energy left by time I got there

6. The three day trips I did were great and the commuter rail works very well. Always consider a day trip when visiting a big city for several days

7. All public transport is very efficient in all cities and first thing one should do is download the local official “Transport app”. The next thing to check on is a the place you are staying at has a functioning shower as sometimes you get up close and personal for extended periods

8. Segway still remains the best way to see a new city and have to say never had a bad “foodie” tour either

9. See as many sporting stadiums as you can in the cities as they have so much history

10. Weather is totally unpredictable. Do your research but prepare for all possibilites. In winter dress in layers because they have THERMONUCLEAR HEATERS everyfuckingwhere.

11. VRBO remains an excellent option for accomodation (if legal in said city) but they do gouge you with fees and conversion rates. If you can deal directly with owner do so

12. Pubs are easy places to sit at if solo traveller and often get a very reasonable, if slightly unhealthy, meal.

13. The “sales tax” system and currency in general is a pain. Follow Aussieland and drop the small stuff. Best to use cards I suggest but always been a cash man. Just like the bulge in my pants of a big wad.

3 solo trips have been great but maybe enough. Time to see a bit more of Australia methinks but like an old woman I retain right to change my mind

Afterall we have great coffee and still serve beer last time I checked

Later dudes and dudettes

Me and Little Marco feeling reflective

( On a side note the GOP debates are embarrassing for mankind period)

So the time has come to bid farewell to USA once more and while I never say never at this stage do not see another solo trip here in my future . I love all things US and have enjoyed all trips but maybe Old Whiskers is trying to tell me something. I have been sick the whole 3 weeks, not totally debilitating but certainly annoying. At my sickest on my birthday in lousy weather .I missed out on the central goal of visiting White House. Weather has been nothing like last year with no snow at all .( Thanks Al Gore ) And the icing on the cake so to speak was that my half hearted effort to upgrade to BC on first leg failed miserably. No wrist slitting though please fans as still have Premium Economy to struggle through 🙂

As always it is a long day until you actually fly out at 6 pm. Did wake up to a very light powdering of snow which at this stage simply limits options for filling in the few hours before catching the LIRR train at midday. It was very cold so the on site diner appropriately called Tick Tock seems like the sort of place trakkies would not look out of place at 630 am . Sweet .

Damn I was overdressed . Mind you the elastic waist will not be wasted after that breakfast . Back to room for a bit and see if can get out for a walk a bit later. Ok, how about a quick walk around the block

Did pick up my LIRR ticket and metro card so have the routine down pat to get to JFK. Main reason for picking this hotel was proximity to Penn Station. All went smoothly and Simply best way to get to JFK from downtown for $12. Arrived way to early so sat for an hour before Qantas opened check in. No late surprises with late upgrades 👴🏻 . The security check here is very slow but not because of over vigorous checking which I understand but because ” workers” always slip in before you . 8 people in front of me and it took 15 minutes to get through . I was lucky to get to the BA lounge with only 3.5 hrs before boarding! Now from memory, which could be blurred, this is not great for eating but is for drinking. I especially like the help yourself beer taps. The food is still ordinary but I shan’t miss out . Better sign off from USA now as this could get ugly . As always there have been many highlights and in a month or two will no doubt start pining but will try and stay strong .

I could live to 100 after all with all the preservatives I take on board !

Cold morning for a walk to train station ! Train left on time as is usually the case with Amtrak. Scenic ride for first hour or so and not too crowded on train

Arrived on time but room wasn’t ready so stored bags and went for a walk. NYC is the type of place you want to see at start of holidays when energy levels are high . The difference walking the streets here compared to Boston and Washington is significant. You feel like Croc Dundee always walking against flow . Everyone is impatient and simply ignore pedestrian crossings and green lights ! I found The Australian pub which was quaint but did enjoy the meat pie. Did love Chapelli on the toilet wall . Checked in just before 3 pm and got upgraded to a high floor room. Headed back out again for one last look at Times Square et al. And maybe a beer….

Have a full morning to fill in tomorrow before starting trek out to JFK for 6 pm flight . Looks like my bare bones offer to upgrade to business class was not accepted 😉 Try and find a good coffee place for breakfast. Night all

Only natural after a Super Tuesday. Rainy start to day and not much planned apart from what all lone male travellers fear most . Laundry day .Tomorrow is off to NYC for one night in a hotel and then 24 hrs of flying and waiting . In same clothes . Shock, horror they are saying may be some snow here on Friday. After I have left . Mind you at this stage of holidays you just want to get home and don’t want any weather interruptions.

So what else to do on a rainy morning ? Well, catch up on the fallout from Super Tuesday of course. Is there any chance Fox News would have any coverage this morning?? Thought I was on top of the whole electoral process until they pull in proportional delegate allocation. Which varies from state to state ! Think all souvenir shopping is done but as always you fear some grandkids have done better than others so a quick check of ” available US money to use ” in wallet . Factor in a few more beers and a packet of chips and we should be good . Food is overrated after all. So can at least head out for a coffee. Talk about truth in advertising !

Of course next door was a shop which left no grey areas. No. I don’t mean they were ageist. A meltery ?

This weather does bring out one of the more ignorant breed of person- the 5’8″ clown that walks with head down and umbrella up without a care in the world.
Back to apartment to get the satirical view of US politics and catch up on some Daily Show. Looks like some sun starting to peek through. As predicted of course! Let’s head out to Harvard for a walk around and a beer

Nice day for a stroll around but in reality not a lot to see. Most buildings look much the same as the next and no pubs in the near vicinity . Eventually found a restaurant bar that didn’t look too special but had simply the best value shrimp deal for $5 so as usually happens it all worked out.

As weather has improved will head out for one last stroll later on . Early start again in morning and looking forward to a few hours in NYC. In meantime will put up with the usual crap US TV just to see the Tina Fey American Express ads

The day cleared to a booteful and cold late afternoon so headed up to roof for one last look at the surrounding area . What a glorious view

Hah, I can Trump that . Bring back Pancake Tuesday I say

Ok that is going to take a while to walk off but maybe cut out the middle man and go straight for a colonic irrigation methinks . Ah, what’s that you say ? Oh its SUPER Tuesday where a variable percentage of Yanks get off their ass and vote in a number of states between 1 and 50 to help decide who knows its time to stop wasting money and curl up your toes. Makes as much sense as everything else that has happened so far I guess. Whatever your inclinations may be any GOP supporter who saw the Oliver takedown of Donald Drumpf would have grave concerns if he is the nominee .

Devoted followers would know my disappointment in missing out on White House tour and the fact I did the only thing possible . Drink myself stupid. A short trip admittedly. Given today was a significant day in US Politics thought would head out to JFK Library. What a stunning location on the water. The “problem ” with JFK is so many significant moments of his life are so well known that there are no great surprises in retracing his life, as fascinating as it may have been. While a much more interesting person and President the Bush Library showed the advantage of improved technology with many more interactive displays. And an Oval Office you could sit at ! Still well worth the visit to remember such an amazing time. And there is a Edward Kennedy Library next door now

As is my way after a short break just headed off for a walk in general direction of Fenway Park on what was a glorious day. Had a coffee along the way and then arrived at said Park and wandering around looking for best photo locations. Looking through hole in fence showed the ground was being dug up as expected . Then I saw the Bleacher Bar? Why not , sounds like kitschy fun

The rest of the afternoon was a blur but did eventually wake up in Boston Common

What pre pubescent boy in the late 60’s didn’t fall under Samantha’s spell and like to give her more than a twitch . And of course wonder why did she choose York the Dork?

So caught the Rockford train from North Station to arrive in Salem just after 8 am . Yep would think I would know by now . Still, it was a glorious day so time to follow the red line and get lay of land. As luck would have it the one museum and attraction u checked online were open today but plenty were not. Mind you most were seasonal anyway and did not open for another month. It’s a fun place to walk around anyway with its cheesy witch tie ins on every second corner. Did actually go to one museum but they were timed tours and didn’t need to mix with witch freaks today thanks.

I enjoy walking around these cities and taking quirky photos of things that amuse me and before you knew it the pubs were open . Salem Beer Works sounded like a fine place to rest and have a couple of brews and very nice scallop and burger conbo for early lunch. Bought a couple of souvenirs and saw my Samantha statue so all was good in Flashtown. Time to catch train back to Boston and chill for a couple of hours . Cold may have finally broken just as clouds start to roll in as predicted . They know their weather shit over here trust me

Rest of afternoon will be spent wandering the neighbourhood looking for that quintessential Beacon Hill vibe they show in all da brochures . Plan tomorrow is to head out to JFK library. Now that cold is easing can actually stay in bed past 6 am!

Was a very pleasant walk around the neighbourhood under grey skies and finally got to sit on that bench. Plenty of squirrels around and they do indeed seem playful and indifferent to humans. That settles it – my fave reincarnation choice just changed.

Not really sure why I buy weekly subway tickets as I pretty well walk everywhere and with an overcast and pleasantly cool ahead there seemed no reason to change plans. My nominated breakfast place was closed which was the first clue to how day may pan out. Not many suitable places nearby so figured would pick something up on way . Building on yesterday’s successful tour thought I would create my own walking tour or as it would become known as later – Flash’s Beer and Blisters Walking Tour to No Place in Particular

A couple on yesterday’s tour commented how good the Harpoon Brewery was so looked at map and only a 45 minute walk so why not. Picked up a very passable Cortado at Greg Powell Coffee in Boston Market on way and took a leisurely stroll pointing out the interesting places along the way as if I had a rapt audience hanging on every word. Given that there actually was no one with me fit in well with the fact I knew nothing about these places. Even Steven. Once again walking around the harbour on a slowly clearing day was tres pleasant . Given there were no geriatrics on tour I made it in plenty of time or as we say in the trade – the place ain’t open yet ya clown. It’s a slightly remote location without a noticeable array of cafes nearby to fill in time. Always surprised when places state proudly that they “serve Starbucks Coffee” as if that will draw in the crowd. In USA it probably does. I didn’t take any chances though and ordered a hot chocolate . Fool me once shame on me, Fool me twice and it was probably all the beer

Harpoon Brewery finally opened and was very impressive on inside. Didn’t do tour because I know how beer is made already. Much more interested in how it tastes and that don’t need no tour, just a seat and a wallet . Had the local brew which was very passable. Have to say the ” pretzels” they serve at these breweries are very tasty and filling. Next stop was the L Street tavern made famous in Good Will Hunting. Another 40 minute walk but by the unanimous vote of 1 nil we agreed to go for it. Nice neighbourhood to walk through and duly arrived at door and pleased to see no crowds. The “closed” sign was a concern but assumed it was typical Irish humour. The added ” broken pipe” note wiped smile from face. In fear of a revolting crowd coming for me quickly decided on going to Murphy’s Law a few blocks back . Quite ironic when you think about it

The day had warmed up a bit by now and didn’t really feel like the 60 minute walk home so did work out a bus route that only involved standing around for 20 mins at stop, 25 minute bus ride through molasses ( and having a wheel chair come on board) and then a short walk through Public Garden and home in 59 minutes. Sweet. To conclude the GWH theme looked for the ” bench” in public garden and in fitting in with days luck some geriatrics from a TV/Movie tour were sitting on it. Or at least think it was it , no real signage but more a treasure map to follow

Time for a relaxing afternoon before heading out a bit later. Off to Salem tomorrow so do a bit of research and work out Witch museum would be best to see

I’m here all week, try the veal

Like Superman I drew energy from the yellow sun and was once more able to venture forth on booked Pizza and Tavern tour. I also look great in a leotard.

This was a great group . A tour of 3 hrs turned into 4.5 and no one seemed to care least of all the hostess. 3 Pizza stops and 3 Tavern stops meant plenty was drunk and enough eaten. Along the way some interesting facts. I have never had a bad foodie tour but this was likely the best. The pizza was nothing special I guess but did soak up the beer nicely. There was even a short ferry cruise at sunset – which should have happened before 4 pm apparently 🙂

It was a glorious day all round and while out and about the cold does seem less of a concern but when back home seems to kick in again. Oh well