flashman181

2013 TV Wish List

Posted: December 18, 2012 in TV

Ok this time of year we all make wish lists but all I want for Xmas is some bloody rain so lets skip the next few weeks and move onto 2013 and look into the TV Crystal Ball

Boardwalk Empire

More Chalky, less Irish tart. In fact Capone discovers that even his deaf son is annoyed by her constant moaning so he puts a hit on her. Nucky then thinks its time to get his illegitimate Italian brother over from Sicily to take care of Capone given the close links the Irish and Italians have always had. Vito Corleone duly arrives and makes Capone an offer he cant refuse. Luckily there were some dead horses still on the set from Luck so no more animals were harmed in the filming of this episode. Richard loses the sight in his good eye thus making him an even worse dancer but we see the first introduction of the famous hockey mask which would be used extensively in horror films many years later. Nucky realises he is no longer lucky but as he doesn’t give a fucky anymore takes a long walk of the rather short Atlantic City pier. Miraculously he is kept afloat by the constant number of bottles that always seem to be swarming just off the beach. He floats to Australia and naturally is quickly deported to Christmas Island where he lands a full time gig as an elf and lives happily ever after

Homeland

Brody becomes a lumberjack in Canada and evades capture by the Intelligence community by assuming the name of “Nick” thus remaining totally undetectable. Carrie and Dana have a whine-off in Washington only to be tragically killed when the Lincoln Statue falls on them thus fulfilling one of his famous decrees “ and Liberty for all”. Saul finally breaks out in song when he hears the news and after shaving off his beard in a futile protest heads off in search of the Princess Bride thus fulfilling his lifetime dream of appearing in 2 Fairy Tales simultaneously. Nazir and Bin Laden bond over sheets and form an unholy alliance the world has not seen the likes of since Gillard and Rudd. Mrs Brody has a clause inserted into her contract whereby she must appear naked every episode but never actually speak. Finally we have the Homeland we only once dared dreamed of. In the last scene the new VP played by Elaine finally meets the President played by Jerry thus confirming all along it has been a show about nothing.

Dexter

Realising they can never have the man they love, Deb and Hannah become lesbian lovers. Sadly old habits die hard and Deb succumbs to a fatal poisoning during a Cunnilingus Catastrophe. Dexter is distraught and finally cracks killing his father because he is sick and tired of him always turning up when he is having fun. With his world unravelling Dex heads to the Marina and off to the wide blue yonder in his boat only to tragically hit an iceberg in the middle of Miami Harbour and drown. Critics later state that the appearance of an iceberg in Miami during summer was one of the more believable scenarios on this show over 8 seasons. Harrison is seen shopping online for hessian sacks (head size) as a sly evil grin spreads across his face. Over the closing credits we hear in a slow lilting female voice – “Oh fuck me , not another fucking one”. Is Deb really dead after all?

Breaking Bad

Walt grows hair – apparently. Jesse becomes insanely jealous of the luxuriant growth especially when Hank turns up with an Afro. No matter how much Meth he rubs into his scalp , nothing! He kidnaps Skyler for her hair and keeps her in a well in the middle of his house and lowers down food in a bucket. Skyler thinks if she can just get hold of his mysterious yapping little dog she will have the upper hand but just as her plan starts to come together Jodie Foster bursts in and saves the day. A bottle of Chianti is strategically placed on the table as Foster slowly turns to Jesse with a smile and says “ah what the hell she was a whiny bitch anyway”. Walt on discovering that his one true love – Foster – has just eaten his wife goes ape and smashes her over the head with a Periodic Table, ironically the heavy metals causing the most damage. As Jess and Walt face off for the final showdown Hank bursts in shooting them both dead. He then pulls off the Afro wig and turns to the bleeding corpses and says “ who is the fool now fellas”. Saul is offered his own show of 13 episodes under the working title of “Better Call Saul” .

Mad Men

All the male cast die in the third episode from Lung cancer. Joanie’s breast reduction surgery is spread out over episodes 4-6 as it is a 3 week operation. Mrs Draper 2 becomes a headline act in Moulin Rouge while Betty D takes over Dons job and her first client is Gloria Steinem who is being sued when she burned Joanie’s old bra and the fire engulfed Wall Street. Now you know why all those bodies falling out of windows in the opening credits were black! Peggy gets a job in the White House with her Dad and lives happily ever after until she meets a cowpoke named Bill from Little Rock. Luckily she has her friend Monica to confide in.

Misfits

Anything will do fellas, just keep making it.

The Best TV of 2012

Posted: December 17, 2012 in TV

Did the right thing and waited until Finales of Homeland and Dexter – need not have bothered

There were 5 shows that stood out for me this year and they are in no particular order but will state quite clearly that Boardwalk Empire Episode 11 was the pick of the year for me. Mad Men was the best show consistently throughout its season. There are another half dozen shows that had good but not stellar seasons

Boardwalk Empire

BE has always oozed class but like Treme never fully engaged me. I would watch it but many times in first 2 seasons it would be a few days after the release. That all changed in Season 3 especially towards the end. The emergence of Capone and reappearance of Chalky towards the end elevated the show to must watch category. It helps that there are real characters like Capone in there that you know. Mrs T was still a pain most of the time but the introduction of Gyp et al more than made up for it and the evolution of the relationship of the Thompson brothers was well handled.

Mad Men

Superb season and while most episodes were strong the best for me was The Other Woman – followed closely both in quality, plot and time by Commissions and Fees. Mrs Draper 2 was loopy at times and Roger entertaining as always but the strong showing by Pete and Lane really stood out this season. This show could go on forever really

Louie

Bit slow getting on board with this guy but thought this season really stood out and the Late Show arc of 3 episodes with Lynch front and centre was the standout for me. It is a unique comedy with no 2 episodes the same – unless as part of an arc of course:) The Miami episode was a fave of many and once again shows the diversity of the guy

Breaking Bad

Strong short season – but then this show is never bad. The final 8 episodes will complete this season and build on some interesting developments and the solid ground work laid down this year. Not its best season but still better than most and how they tie it all up will be the tester

Misfits

Tried to describe this in other media commitments and closest I came was Skins meets Fantastic 4 with Walking Dead thrown in and all written by someone on an acid trip It is a totally unique viewing experience and unlike most shows the new seasons often go off in total new direction. Never afraid to kill characters off but it is likely many could enjoy the earlier more plot driven seasons rather than the later more humorous seasons – or vice versa. Do yourself a favour and then thank me later – weirdly wonderful.

So to the rest. Comedy wise, 30 Rock was uneven but still very funny at times no doubt helped by my love/lust of Tina Fey. Modern Family was solid as well and particularly liked the garage sale episode. New Girl and Happy Endings were suitably quirky but lacking originality now.

Drama wise, Justified was solid but not as good as previous season. Spartacus pipped GOT in the costume drama saga category but both were uneven and never rose to any consistent great heights although there were glimpses at times. Honourable mention for Elementary as well – most cream their jeans for Sherlock (which is great but short on numbers) but this one is very enjoyable and fills the void nicely

And then to the big 2 disappointments – Dexter and Homeland. Both started of gangbusters with the first 5 episodes of Homeland amongst the best TV all year – then they got the meth head down the road to write a few episodes and it all went pear shaped. Solid but not spectacular finale gave some hope for next season but really Brooding Brody (sometimes referred to as Nick by those not close to him) or Catatonic Carrie have to bite the bullet next season. Dexter remained solid for many episodes especially while the Roaming Russkie was on board and Deb deserves an award for her work this season but it was a ridiculous finale once again that let down an otherwise almost believable season

And in between all the big guns, it was great to sit down and laugh at A Moody Christmas for a short 6 weeks.

The R Word

Posted: December 8, 2012 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

Everyone knows what we are referring to when the good old “F”word is rolled out – and if they don’t they effing well should. But the “R” word is less distinct – is it Retrenchment, Redundancy or Retirement and does it really matter? Yes it does to one’s mindset. The doors closed for good yesterday on Maryborough Pathology and it was a mere 35 yrs and 2 days ago that a meek young man first approached the isolated little Pathology building located randomly within the hospital grounds. I told the snivelling clod to piss off though as I wanted this job and so began the journey! That little Tasmanian Terror Ricky Ponting retired from Test cricket last week. He may have been tapped on the shoulder or maybe he finally realised a summer batting average of 3 was a tad ordinary and did the right thing. We were not tapped on the shoulder and allowed to leave with dignity – we were clipped around the ear and shoved in the back.

I am not much into the blame game because at the end of the day it means little. I did not hold management responsible for this closure – they will have their hands busy explaining the debacle that is about to unfold over coming months in Maryhole. Sadly though management still feel the need to try and say the right words when no words are needed nor sought – no doubt the first lesson in Ladder Climbing 101. Intentions were fine, execution poor. I did not even blame the local political twat but then she had to go and open her mouth. She had had many discussions with the important people she said – not including the actual Pathology workers- and because of her an appropriate service would now be maintained. Hello? No change to proposed level of service in Brave New World (hereafter BNW) has occurred for last 6 months ya clown. She says some people cant handle change. I like change actually which is why I am going to stay around in Maryhole at least until next election to help it happen!

But there are a couple of “R” words I am rather fond of – Rejoice and Recognition. The last few weeks have been difficult and yesterday was going to be one of the hardest. But this is a tough team of hombres my friend so we chose to rejoice in what we had achieved over the years and our many friends in the hospital chose to recognise that with a very moving show of support and caring. Kicked of with a BBQ at 0600 attended by many fellow staff and complemented by a humourous and touching Acapella rendition by the Travelling Truscott Trio. All senses sated it was time to do some work and as the collecting staff walked into AE the medical and nursing staff formed a guard of honour. These are special people. These are special memories. You are well served people of Maryhole even with Pathology gone

And to the patients of Maryhole – your support has been amazing when really you had more pressing issues and concerns to deal with. Please direct any of your well deserved anger at the people Responsible and not at the overworked underpaid lone staff member left holding the bucket. As I drove through the boom gate one last time and glanced to my left at the proposed sight of the “Healing Garden” it was a sad time. They say you never know what you had until it is gone but we always knew. The sad part is we can never have it again because it takes years to form these types of Relationships. I dont see another 35 year career ahead of me

Unless that fucking Healing Garden has a Fountain of Youth front and centre! Yeah Right

Pass the Rumbo thanks Maxine, Maree, Jeanette, Mickey, Babs, Freddy, Stelly, Cal and Dazza.

The Death of Homeland

Posted: December 4, 2012 in TV

This is where I need someone like Viggo to go all forensic on us and tell us that of course episodes 6 and 8 were crap – they were written by Dana and directed by a poodle. Homeland is a victim of its own success and by extension we suffer for it. It was a great concept but doubt if when initially pitched the writers saw a multi-season arc there? It should have been a UK type show like State of Play – perfect. Season 1 was great but there were some concerns how it ended ala Lost – ok you are on the hook now lets drag it out. The start of Season 2 gave us hope though that they had a plan. They do apparently – lets get rich and make 12 more seasons. 24 could do some illogical nonsense at times because Jack was a good guy and in the end we wanted him to win. Some of us want Brody to win or at least did up to about Ep 5 of this season and that doesn’t sit all that well. Now I just want Brody and Carrie to take a long walk on a very short pier. What may have been great acting initially has just become annoying characters for me. The only interest left in this season , and show , for me is just how much more ridiculous and illogical it can become by end of season and just how they expect to keep anyone interested beyond that.

Boardwalk Empire showed us how to do it – don’t shoot your load early. Make a classy show with some great scenes every now and again and some interesting characters and then build. If it is quite in Atlantic City move to Chicago. Yada Yada Yada. We see Capone starting to come to the fore now etc. Season 3 was superb and now cant wait for Season 4. Homeland has all the dizzy expectation of a root canal appointment now – you know you have to do it but you know there will be a lot of pain. Of course one thing the 2 shows do share are annoying lead female characters. I say Chalky does Nucky one last favour and takes out Mrs T next season

Even Dexter has been able to reinvent itself this season after a couple of years in the wilderness. We can forgive the ridiculous ease that Dexter moves around Miami – on land and sea – like an invisible Batman because we basically like the guy and want these scum to die a nasty death. Then we have some interesting characters thrown into the mix – Deb should have Emmy tattooed on her ass now. Ok “Fucking Emmy” to be exact J Even when they flew in big names like Lithgow it was still the central 2 characters that engaged us. Brody and Carrie no longer do that for this little black duck in Homeland

Saul has always been the great hope for this show but is so closely aligned with Carrion that he is being dragged down to her level. (Carrion from the Latin “caro”, meaning “meat” refers to the dead and decaying flesh of an animal) . The best way to end this show now would be for the President to knock on the Brodys’ door and ask Jessica “I need to speak to Nick”. She responds “Sorry, no one of that name lives here. Only me and my husband Brody”.

Pretty well sums it up.

Midlife Crisis in Maryhole # 4

Posted: November 25, 2012 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

When last we left it was full steam ahead, iceberg on the starboard Sir, unleash the band and line those bloody deck chairs up. Some mongrel thought one iceberg may not be enough though. Ring Ring. Just been informed that even though doors close on the 7th of December your separation date along with fellow mouseketeers is Dec 16th. Say what? So what are we expected to do that last week you may ask? – be “meaningfully employed”. Could probably take up to the Wednesday to clean up form the party on Dec 7th but struggling after that. It has of course been a very busy 10 days back at work since European Tour mainly trying to address issues arising from decisions taken in my absence and without my input. Naturally people around the hospital assume I am much more important and all powerful than I actually am as confirmed by my fortnightly payslip. Interesting times people, interesting times.

Now to the real mid life crisis occurring. When people ask what I will be doing in the future I jokingly say “improving my golf handicap” because saying lying on the bathroom floor in the foetal position could lessen me in their adoring eyes. The reality of course is that is very unlikely to happen. Why you may ask. 3 answers quickly come to mind

Stuffed ankle
Stuffed back
Stuffed fingers

Now the ankle has been an issue for years with the right ankle basically being twice the size of left ankle in normal resting state. Walking 18 holes is nigh on impossible so it is cart golf where possible. Sadly one looks around the golf course these days and just about every group of 4 has at least one cart and often 3 in it. They are not all cripples – they just find it easier to carry their eskies around mostly. Good luck to them – unfortunately now there are no cart sheds left to use and live too far away from the course to house it at home. A problem to be addressed in the future. The back is pretty much an issue the day after. There is a Pro golf tour coming up next year which is a much sought after long weekend of golfing, drinking and no sleep apparently. Sounds great but the reality, as clearly demonstrated again this Sunday morning , is on the second day I would need a stretcher to get to the tee at 0830 in the morning. 3rd day? – just drive by ICU thanks. The fingers is a new one that only causes problems at golf but no other shaft related activities and there must be some arthritis in fingers 2 and 3 because by about 12-13 holes it hurts like hell with every full shot especially if not out of the screws, a regular occurrence way back when young and supple let alone now.

So the real crisis has been defined – no work and an inability to do a lot of physical exercise let alone enjoy time out on the golf course regularly does not bode well for me maintaining my general optimistic carefree approach to daily life

Damn these bathroom floor tiles are cold.

Midlife Crisis in Maryhole Part 3

Posted: November 8, 2012 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

December 7th – “a date which will live in infamy.” So FDR stated. Many thought he was referring to the attack on Pearl Harbour. In reality he had foreshadowed the closing of the Maryborough Pathology laboratory which was accompanied by the famous warcry of “Bora Bora Bora” highlighting the degree of white anting that has occurred to this department in recent years.

When I left for lands far far away 5 weeks ago we knew the laboratory was slated to close before end of year but no set date and in reality a certain lack of consultation seemed to be occurring. On second last day of holidays while relaxing in Dubai I received the official notification of the date. Subsequently attended meeting yesterday in Maryhole – while still on leave – to get the update. So the reality is after 35 years (almost to the day having started on Dec 5th 1977) of working in Pathology in Maryhole it all comes to an end after 3 more weeks work.

Its an odd feeling and will no doubt fluctuate over coming weeks and months. After said 35 years of living in the rarified world where you thought your job was always safe and this could never happen – it has.In a perfect world you always leave at a date of your own choosing and that is the same whether it is your work life or you are Captain of the Australian Cricket team. Most people who give loyal service are provided this opportunity especially in my case when my average is Bradmanesque. But we dont live in a perfect world – we live in Campbell Newman’s Queensland. There was always a certain inevitability about the closing of this department – if you were planning a new service in this district you would not have 2 hospitals 20 minutes apart to service this meagre population. Personally I blame the influx of too many bloody Victorians into Hervey Bay and with their 2 heads each skewing the population stats. One thing is for certain though – there are no winners in this brave new world. The current staff in Hervey Bay may still have jobs but man are they going to be busy. Being a loyal Maryboryian until the day I die – or CLP finally allows me to become a kept man – I feel for the locals and the reduced service they now face. The reality of course is that many communities across Qld are being affected as are many lives of health workers – its just that when you actually close a service it resonates throughout the community. I will be ok but some of my staff will struggle. Life will never be the same for at least 6 people in Maryhole.

Now to better news. Spent a couple of days in Toowoomba with kids 1-2 inclusive along with the 3 Amigos. There is a 4th amigo on the way as well so when all else fails lose yourself in your children and grandchildren. Who can be down when you pick up a cute as a button 6 month old who is perfect in every way or your 3 year old says “I missed you Grand dad”. I think he said that – maybe he said “Were you pissed all the time Grand Dad?” Dropping Child 3 at airport tomorrow as she flies to Cairns to meet boyfriend who is working hard and studying hard to better himself. Daughter 1 is a wonderful Mum who is raising her son almost single handedly as hubby( a great guy in every way) has to work in the bush 3 weeks out of 4 to provide for his family -very hard for him not seeing his son 3 out of 4 weeks. They will have to move next year to address this situation – lets hope it is closer than Toowoomba. Daughter 2 has to cope by herself about 9 weeks out of 10 and is doing well but in reality they both live in far from perfect worlds.

As a parent I choose perfect worlds for my children – I can deal with this little blip for me standing on my head. If only I could sleep more than about 3 hours a night. Maybe its the standing on my head that is the problem??

Emirates Business Class – is it worth it?

Posted: November 3, 2012 in Travel

Short answer – no. Long answer – would not have missed it for the world

Avid followers, and you know who you are, would know that CLP had shouted us a BC upgrade for return flights from Zurich-Dubai-Brisvegas as just one of the many gifts that she will shower upon thee for the big 55.

Zurich – Dubai. Those in the know would know that the first part of the BC experience with Emirates is chauffeur pickup from lodgings. The said chauffeur – who unfortunately bore a striking resemblance to Rosa Klebb from From Russia with Love – picked us up nice and early in a beautiful mercedes sedan.It was snowing, there were water bottles in our back seat yada yada yada – class all the way. She escorted us to the check in counter even and then God Bless her kicked a few annoying Indian tourists in the shins on the way out. Then it was onto the sumptuous BC lounge in Zurich airport where the food, drink and service were superb. Easy access to our airplane and BC seats but there was quite a delay in our take off – no sweat sir have a glass of champers. Dont mind if I do. Then I will take your drink order for when we take off and here is today’s menu for your perusal. The seats are very comfortable and are the lie down type, plenty of leg room of course and the rather excellent ICE system on a bigger screen. The 6 hours flew by pretty quick and everything was great. Then we landed in Dubai.

The chauffeur system in Dubai is really a glorified taxi service. You have to go line up and get a voucher then go stand in a very short queue while a car is brought around for you – a Volvo station wagon, very nice but no Mercedes. It was a very long trip to hotel due to ridiculous traffic and no hand holding at hotel arrival but no dramas. Leaving Dubai was a similar experience – efficient certainly but not luxurious. Dubai is a massive airport and it is a 20 minute walk from drop off to actual gates. Once again the check in was smooth. The BC lounge was under renovation so had access to first class lounge which was a little crowded (cf Zurich)and much like the hotel breakfasts there was plenty to eat but it just did not grab me much. Once again you have to catch a bus to your actual plane but BC passengers are loaded last and get a very comfortable bus to sit in rather than standing with the plebs. If you are lucky you get to make faces at economy passengers as you zoom past their bus. The seats and arrangements were very simialar to first 6 hr leg but this was 14 hrs and nothing is that comfortable for that long. CLP fell asleep on take off from memory! The food was great, plenty to drink and watch etc but as I say 14 hrs is a chore any day. We left around 1100 in morning but after about an hour the shades on windows were automatically bought down and stayed that way whole trip – basically felt like it was night time for 13 hours of trip which is a little unsettling when you cant sleep. The individual toiletries bag you receive on these flights is very impressive and comprehensive. I now have CLPs Xmas present ready to go! Got through Brisbane airport easily and then a man with our name was waiting and dropped us off at Brisvegas lodging with no hassles

BC upgrade for these 2 trips cost about $3500-4500 EACH extra depending on how early you book. For that money you could spend an extra week in Paris and probably get a helicopter to the top of the Eiffel Tower. The reality is it was a fantastic experience but unless you are 10% of rolling in it your money can be spent in a more productive and lasting way. What is really great about the BC experience is the easy access and exits on and off planes and through airports – you really do skip some queues. If they sold that part of the trip as a $200 upgrade option I would take it every time!

Where to Stay on Holidays

Posted: November 2, 2012 in Travel

Having just travelled around Europe for a month staying in different forms of accommodation raised the question – what is the best type of accommodation on holidays? To me it comes down to apartments V hotels though am sure there are some other options eg tent in a paddock! We stayed 80% apartments and 20 % hotels and think that is the right mix

We always use http://www.vrbo.com as first port of call when looking for an apartment – basically “vacation rental by owner” – and have not been disappointed yet either in Europe this year or US last year. For example this year in Rome we stayed at 150878 and it was great. You can see everything that is provided and can also see previous comments from people who have stayed there. An apartment has the advantages of

1. room to unpack a bag properly
2. better equipped kitchen to save some money on meals etc especially breakfast
3. more comfortable seating arrangements to relax after a long day touring
4. and most importantly laundry facilities. This is very useful when not in one city for long. Dirty clothes tend to accumulate quickly

Disadvantages? – sound can be a problem as we found in France ; hotels tend be better soundproofed especially from people above and luckily if on a high floor no road noise. Of course there is no servicing so you may need to wash towels etc as well

Hotels have the big advantage of a bit of pampering – which you pay for. If you plan on eating out a lot and only staying in place a couple of days then hotels are best option as you invariably get a better nights sleep and simply have less to worry about. About 3 nights would be my absolute max for staying in one hotel during an extended holiday. Simple things like having a doorman or a concierge makes life very easy at times. A night in a hotel before a long flight is a good idea as it is invariably easier to ensure your transport to airport and you tend to get that good nights sleep.

On our recent holiday we stayed in a hotel in Prague (3 nights) and Vienna (1 night) followed by apartments in Rome (7), Florence(4) and Paris(6) and then a relaxing 3 night hotel stay in Dubai before flying home. The hotel in Dubai was 5 star which didnt hurt – except the wallet:). Perfect mix.

Octoberfestivus Day 28

Posted: October 31, 2012 in Travel

Dubai to Brisbane

That’s all folks. Woke up on time and went down for one last plentiful but largely non satisfying breakfast. Smooth check out and BC chauffeur was waiting well on time. He may have been expecting the Bay City Rollers as it was a Volvo van with seating for 6 but no, it was just the CLP and me. Smooth drop off and check in including 2 passport checks. Then we had a 20 minute walk to our gate. It was 21 mins to First Class lounge so we went there first . The plane was running 30 mins late at present but expected to arrive in Brisbane 30 minutes early – you gotta love Math. The lounge at Dubai is much like the breakfast in hotels – looks a lot better than it actually is at least for this little black duck. Too much sweet stuff or cold meats for me in the morning. The pork bacon is burnt to within an inch of its existence in one last act of defiance I imagine. So will sign off now for this trip but first some awards

Best Organised trip – Wine tour through Chianti
Best Accomodation- Rome Apartment
Best meal – Beef Bourguignon in Paris
Best Dining – L’epi Dupine Paris
Best Event – Moulin Rouge
Best View -burj AL Arab Skyview Bar
Best City to visit – Florence
Best City to stay for a while – Paris
Best Fun – Segway tour Prague
Best Bath – Sofitel Dubai
Best Beer – Cafe des 2 Moulin (yeah I was surprised too)
Best Coffee – no winner but had one good one near Bastille in Paris
Best Wine – sharing a bottle with brother in Chablis – some French stuff
Best Relaxation – beer and Shishah around pool at sunset in Dubai
Best Pampering – BC trip from Zurich to Dubai with Emirates
Best Statue – David in Florence
Best Building – Colosseum
Best Train trip – Paris to Zurich
Best short visit – Venice (only nominee actually but it was a great 6 hours)

Hottest Women – Prague

Worst Experience – Overnight Train from Venice to Paris with Thello

Octoberfestivus Day 27

Posted: October 30, 2012 in Travel

The Final Countdown

As we enter our final full day on holiday I am ready to come home. It has been wonderful but a month is about my limit. I have family at home and 3 wonderful grandsons to catch up with. Think CLP and I would also agree a break is about due, too much of a good thing yada yada yada. But first I have to endure 14 hrs of business class on the way home….

We are staying at the Sofitel on the Marina and it is fine but nothing special in this class of hotel. What it does have though is the best bathtub we have see for many a year. Slept better last night as no construction going on – from memory in this part of the world they do have different days off to our standard weekend. Started off with the usual buffet breakfast but honestly not too much is all that appealing at this stage. Then it was down to the Not Quite Dead Sea where it was very pleasant to float around in the high salt concentration. Made the mistake of drifting too close to shore at one stage and 2 smart asses rolled me back out to sea. Bloody Greenpeace everywhere. Then it was back to our poolside cabana where the most difficult decision of the last month awaited us – we had 600 AED to spend in one day. I could get all of my underwear pressed I guess or better still – search out that poolside menu. Of course, no alcohol before midday so we swaddled by the pool for a couple of hours and then ordered 2 beers and a few mini burgers. I should have got the “extra cold ” Heinekin on tap rather than the bottled Corona. I decided to leave it for 10 minutes in the Dubai heat to see if it would cool down! The burgers and chips burned a few hundred AED and then in a simple last act of defiance went for a swim only 10 minutes after lunch! What can I say- I live life on the edge .

Leaving the Glass House mantra to one side momentarily there are not a lot of flash bodies around this pool in Dubai. There is a lot of flesh on show but not the good kind. Good luck to them if they are relaxed about it all but would suggest there should be a general rule enforceable by expulsion from pool area that has 2 criteria – if > 60 kg then your bikini must cover > 20% of your flesh. Cruel but fair. In general Dubai would seem to have an obesity problem worse than Australia especially amongst its young men. Fat tourists are expected but it is a concern amongst the resident population I would imagine. Anyway I have my own problems to deal with………. namely 300 AED to spend by days end.

After a brief walk through the shopping mall it was back to the pool for the afternoon and into a lovely sunset. Very pleasant indeed and a faint sea breeze made it all very comfortable. We had planned to go back into mall for dinner but was so relaxing by the pool ordered a few beers and a couple more hamburgers and then hit the Shisha. Good times. Of course by now we had blown our 300 AED so a quick trip to the ATM allowed us to settle our hotel bill and have 7 AED left. What a pity there are no beggars in Dubai

So a rough start to the “relaxing” few days had ended well and now with only the Business Class journey home to deal with I may just survive for another holiday anther year. Of course being unemployed after December 7th may mean that one occurs in Australia – not a bad result at all