Midlife Crisis in Maryhole # 4

Posted: November 25, 2012 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

When last we left it was full steam ahead, iceberg on the starboard Sir, unleash the band and line those bloody deck chairs up. Some mongrel thought one iceberg may not be enough though. Ring Ring. Just been informed that even though doors close on the 7th of December your separation date along with fellow mouseketeers is Dec 16th. Say what? So what are we expected to do that last week you may ask? – be “meaningfully employed”. Could probably take up to the Wednesday to clean up form the party on Dec 7th but struggling after that. It has of course been a very busy 10 days back at work since European Tour mainly trying to address issues arising from decisions taken in my absence and without my input. Naturally people around the hospital assume I am much more important and all powerful than I actually am as confirmed by my fortnightly payslip. Interesting times people, interesting times.

Now to the real mid life crisis occurring. When people ask what I will be doing in the future I jokingly say “improving my golf handicap” because saying lying on the bathroom floor in the foetal position could lessen me in their adoring eyes. The reality of course is that is very unlikely to happen. Why you may ask. 3 answers quickly come to mind

Stuffed ankle
Stuffed back
Stuffed fingers

Now the ankle has been an issue for years with the right ankle basically being twice the size of left ankle in normal resting state. Walking 18 holes is nigh on impossible so it is cart golf where possible. Sadly one looks around the golf course these days and just about every group of 4 has at least one cart and often 3 in it. They are not all cripples – they just find it easier to carry their eskies around mostly. Good luck to them – unfortunately now there are no cart sheds left to use and live too far away from the course to house it at home. A problem to be addressed in the future. The back is pretty much an issue the day after. There is a Pro golf tour coming up next year which is a much sought after long weekend of golfing, drinking and no sleep apparently. Sounds great but the reality, as clearly demonstrated again this Sunday morning , is on the second day I would need a stretcher to get to the tee at 0830 in the morning. 3rd day? – just drive by ICU thanks. The fingers is a new one that only causes problems at golf but no other shaft related activities and there must be some arthritis in fingers 2 and 3 because by about 12-13 holes it hurts like hell with every full shot especially if not out of the screws, a regular occurrence way back when young and supple let alone now.

So the real crisis has been defined – no work and an inability to do a lot of physical exercise let alone enjoy time out on the golf course regularly does not bode well for me maintaining my general optimistic carefree approach to daily life

Damn these bathroom floor tiles are cold.

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