flashman181

We left Paris behind in street lit beauty as we boarded the early TgV high speed train to Barcelona. Left exactly on time as usual with trains. Station security checking certainly appears lax compared to airports – at both ends. It was a comfortable ride and the 6.5 hrs passed at a reasonable rate. Barcelona Sants is certainly a busy station and we sampled our first taste of Spain. A beer naturally. We would be spending the weekend with friends of the Della clan, the very gracious Josef and Magda. Unfortunately we could not be picked up until another 4 hrs and then a 90 minute drive to Les Borges Blanques where they live north of Barcelona. However all settled in by 8 pm and after a late meal it was time for some sleep. It is a lovely house constructed mainly of Australian products – bricks, jarrah wood etc – to reflect the amount of business (tiles) Josef does with Australia. A relaxed weekend exploring the local countryside with expert tour guides awaits

The day dawned booteeful again on our last full day in Paris. Would it be the last ever ? It’s been a great week of course and it is not as if we have seen or experienced all that Paris has to offer. But one does wonder if time would be better spent in future exploring new cities or returning to other favourites like Prague. Time will tell . We still have a week in South of France to enjoy later in the holiday.

So we set off on a long walk with plan to revisit a couple of favourite experiences from 2012. It was a lovely morning indeed for a traverse across the Seine once more heading in the general direction of Il de St Louis for some memorable Beef bournignon for lunch. Even at old man pace we had some time to kill. Found a nice little cafe with friendly bordering on jovial wait staff for breakfast after crossing the Pont Alexandre 111 bridge and taking in the splendour of the Grand Palais. Then on to the start of the Holy Trinity for the day – Saint Chappelle. The room dedicated to the under arm delivery was a surprise. The second act of course was Notre Dame. I sat outside while CLP lined up and went in. Was a bit pissed off when some little brat pointed at me and said “Mommy, one of the gargoyles fell off and landed here ” .

Lunch was as good as we remembered and as cramped. Then some metros onward and upward to the final of the trifecta – Sacre Couer. It is one impressive place and offers a great view back over the sprawling city. It is sadly in one of the rougher areas of town. Just nearby it was time to visit the Amelie bar to see if they still served the coldest beer in town. Alas they don’t, but it was still rather drinkable . After that it’s just time for one last dinner and some packing before an early start tomorrow for the train to Barcelona.

But one last lesson to learn mon ami. Restaurants , despite stating hrs of midday to 10 pm, don’t actually open for dinner until 730 pm! Hope they let me in in my PJs

We came. We saw. We drank. We ate. We drank. Yes I believe in a balanced diet. 2 drink portions for every one food portion. Unless we run out of food of course then it is simply open slather on the liquid stuff. Have yet to be disappointed by a day long wine trip and still batting 1000 tonight folks

Started at 0700 and picked up one other couple on way – slightly older and very pleasant Yanks – before the 90 minute drive in a very comfortable van out to Champagne region. Our guide was Vietnamese and very knowledgable. I did not pick up everything he said due to accent but the only thing I need to know with champagne is ” Why is that cork still in the bottle Charlie ? “. It was great to see well known varieties like Bollinger et al on the vine and then we went to a small family operated winery for some edumacation and maybe a tipple or two. Now I mentioned this previously but the generous nature of my new fave people La Frogs lives on in wine tasting sizes as well. Very tasty indeed and a couple of bottles purchased . Charlie said “It is safe to take on plane back to Australia ” I relied ” Pal, it it makes it back to Paris tonight I will be amazed , it’s a 90 minute car trip you know !”

Then onto yet another great lunch topped off by yet another superb chocolate dessert. I may be lucky to retain my svelte figure at this rate. Luckily my charm will still draw in the Sheilas. So after getting bombed before lunch it was now time to see a real bomb site – Reims Cathedral. When CLP first mentioned for only 175 Euro we could have a whole day of Reims my life flashed before my eyes. Except for March 2012 for some reason. Anyhoo, when I realised she was referring to an actual location I relaxed considerably. As did my sphincter. It is a stunning cathedral no doubt and well worth a look I guess, unless you have already seen 245 cathedrals. It did have great natural light though. Sadly, as often happens, there was a lot of scaffolding on front entrance. Something I am considering getting done too.

After this it was time to visit the Taittanger Champagne house and go down into the caves for some more edumacation. Charlie was replaced by the local Chantilly this time who resembled the embodiment of French Sheilas – a little stunning, somewhat aloof and haughty, definitely sexy and largely indifferent to my presence. It was an impressive collection of bottles indeed. Then back up to ground level for two more quarts of tasting.

We rolled into the van and started the 2 hr trip back to Paris. A great day indeed and well worth the money

It was a significant day for two reasons. Naturally the most important event was the CLP celebrating a birthday in the City of Love. She is treated like a Queen everyday so no special planning required. The second event of interest though was that Frenchie clawed back. Now I have been my usual subtle self but some may have picked up on a minor displeasure with certain aspects of the French experience.

After having some truffles flown in from South of France for an appetiser it was off for some breakfast at a recommended little cafe. Another booteeful day and a leisurely 30 minute walk to Cafe Constant and a surprisingly good breakfast. The surprising thing though was some actual service was provided without having to ask for it . Garçon was a little confused when he thought we wanted white tea with milk but it was sorted. The only downer was towards end when Frogs x2 arrived and sat down next to us with dogs x 2 in tow. Yes the French love their dogs but leave them outside please ok?

Next it was on to Musee Rodin I think. Get it ? We arrived a bit early and had to wait in line but were at front so when got in got the ” memorable” photo opportunities first. For 6 euro entry it was great value. Win 2 for the French. Then it was home to get ready for hopeful highlight of day – lunch at Le Jules Verne on second level of Eiffel Tower. Prepaid many months ago had even paid 30 euro just to have our tickets posted to Australia. Not cheap but should be worth it

Now an old man does not need too many shocks in life. So when Francois showed us the menu and said we could choose from tasting or set menu I said ” settle down pal we pre paid this for the special lunch ” “Non Non, we don’t debit your credit card we only keep it on record” While my life flashed before my eyes I assured him that some frog had taken a fair hit out of my card many months ago and unless he wanted to see how high up we really were get it sorted tout suite. I think he appreciated my knowledge of French lingo. He came back apologetic saying I was correct – apologetic as in the grimace turned almost into a smile. From there on it was simply a superb experience. You get what you pay for of course and for that money I thought a lap dance may have been included but alas no. Ok, it wasn’t my birthday I guess. Now the French are great with their bread and must say they also know how to fill a glass of wine beyond the one third mark. As part of the package we got some signed individual menus and just for a laugh , as booking was in my name, CLP menu was titled Madame Ferguson. While she no doubt half expected me to drop to one knee there and then it was a simple misunderstanding . Manfully she wiped away the tears . Or was she laughing with relief ? Graciously Pierre arranged to have the menu fixed. Now mine says Mr Della. Fark !

So a great day was nowhere near over but being full as a goog it was time to head home and stretch out for rest of day. Maybe head out later for a beer but no more food thanks. Not even a breadstick dipped in cheese.

Maybe a wafer thin chocolate ?

The day dawned tres booteeful so we headed off for Plan A. Place our lock on Bridge Du Love along with previously placed locks from Della clan. Easily found and mission accomplished. One does wonder if it will be there in December though. Guys were cutting off locks in one section while there and least 30% of sections were boarded up now.

Most holidays have that one recurring theme that both amuses and annoys. In Paris it has been trying to get service in a fucking cafe!

Case 1 . Breakfast at Le Deux Maggots on way to locking down our lurve. We saw Gerard the waiter as we approached the outside tables and sat down. He saw us too. Some tables had a menu lying on them but no pattern apparent. No tables were set up as such. Nothing happens for 10 mins. Reach over and grab a menu from table 3 feet away and suddenly Gerard arrives! Nice breakfast but 7 euro for a small coffee!

Case 2. Found another cafe for a late morning tea after much walking. Sat down outside with a table that had a menu at it. If nothing else the boy is a quick learner .Waitress continued to wipe tables nearby and ignoring us. Eventually she rocks up. Bonjour. The menu had plenty of food and drinks but nothing sweet like a biscuit or cake so we placed our coffee order and enquired ” Do you have any cakes? ” ” Oui Madame ” and walks off. 5 minutes later coffees turn up. Nothing else, no cakes, no menu?? Meanwhile some French tart turns up and is served straight away . Eventually we had to get up and go inside to pay our bill.

So after the very pleasant walk across the bridge we were in Louvre territory so thought we would go and have a laugh at line ups etc and maybe throw popcorn at the tourists as they waited. Lo and behold the lines were relatively small (0930 am) and moving quickly so we went in and got our fill of cultcha for the day. A Mona here, a Venus there , avoid 4000 Japs and then back out into the real world.

Some more thoughts on life as a Frog. For largely monosyllabic grunters who rarely smile let alone speak to you why do they insist on cramming people next to each other in restaurants like forced integration ? It makes for an unpleasant dining experience when you are virtually sitting in the lap of the person next to you. Conversely in large groups they tend to speak loudly to the point of annoyance. Another feature have noticed this time around is the habit of some people (ie more than one) to walk down the street still with motorcycle/scooter helmet on?? WTF. Mind you, have noticed that the female bicyclists are always smiling. I suspect it is the cobbled streets. One thing though, the French do know their bread and give you plenty of it. Great stuff. And slimming to boot. Yay.

So after a relaxing afternoon headed out for a great little Tapas dinner and onto the Arc de Triomphe for a sunset glimpse of the Eiffel et al. CLP suggested going to top as ” only 40 steps ” . Sucked in again ! Sadly it was smoggy as usual so no classic sunset but was a nice evening all the same

Now I need my sleep as big day tomorrow.

Apparently

It’s a lovely apartment as usual but much as happened the last time in Paris being on ground floor does leave you open to elephant herding above and it’s happening again. And for generally dirty folk the French do seem to love to run washing machines after midnight!

So after a solid 4 hrs sleep it was off to The Catacombes so we decided a leisurely stroll in light mist was fine and it was pleasantly quite early on a Sunday morning for our 40 minute walk. Stopped in for breakfast on the way which was fine if you don’t mind grunts in exchange for actual conversation from cheery wait folk. And of course the first crap coffee of the holiday. We had paid overs for a guided tour as knew the line ups were horrendous – as in hours. Even so we still had to be there at 0900 and stand around for an hour before opening. The guide seemed pleasant enough but was concerned when she went about 10 people in front of us. Turns out we had no ” skip the line” deal but rather had to wait for a second guide to buy our tickets. Look it’s a rather amazing place but after the first 100 skulls the thrill wanes. Unless you have a burning desire to have every plaque translated no need for a guide either. And the 80 steep steps to climb at end didn’t help moi. Still let’s get some meats and cheeses from market and catch our first metro home- the ankle was double size by now. All fine until we get to first station of the required 6. Train stops fine but then there is an announcement in French and everyone gets off . Well the people who understand French do and naturally we decide to follow. Bomb? Rat plague? Bieber concert? Who would know, no one around to tell ya. Once emptied the train just left. So have to climb up stairs again for another 30 minute walk home. Then it started to rain. My usual cheery outlook was looking a tad precarious .

Now I got nothing against Paris. Except it is full of French people. They are truly an ignorant mob, whether it be flicking lit ciggies on footpath in front of you or just walking with head down and not even looking. They really have a poor understanding of the concept of service.

Anyhoo went for a stroll in afternoon and saw the Statue of Liberty replica and of course the Eiffel Tower. If nothing else the Seine is truly a beautiful river. It is a stunning backdrop for so much.

They say the older you get the wiser you get. I am going to file that furfy away with ” all women are the same” . So even though I knew there was several hours of snouts in the trough awaiting from about 11pm on, numbnuts here still thought it was a good idea to have a few beers and half a bottle of wine over a big dinner with CLP Snr a few hours before hand! I blame the festive spirit oozing from all CLP crevices for this misjudgement. I forgot what ” starting holidays ” means now for the workers. So we rock out to the airport in plenty of time, smooth check in and make our way to Emirates lounge. All a bit old hat now I guess but it helps pass the time. Going to sound crass I know but I am often surprised at some of the people that fly business class or better. They look like they just walked off the set of Duck Dynasty! And they yap across rooms with inane stories. One good thing about the Brisvegas lounge is if has a dedicated bridge to board from, an opportunity to avoid mingling with the great unwashed for a bit longer. Plane left on time and all was as expected food and service wise. There are lie flat beds but I can’t sleep anyway . Of course CLP does, but then she falls asleep at security screening if if takes longer than 30 seconds!

On time for Singapore where you get off,turn around 3 times and get back on the same plane. Enough time for another ” keeper ” experience though! The Singapore Squat AKA – loo! It hard enough for guys to hit a large bowl from a short distance ( ya with me ??) while facing – how the hell do you expect us to crap into a bowl half the size while hunched over and one hand on the door. I took some photos but keeping them safe in iCloud. We were late leaving Singapore but it was ok – “We can make it up in the air”! A superb lunch I must say topped off by a rather large cheese board – yeah I know what cheese does to the nether regions! By now I had the hosties eating out of my hand( could have been some Gorgonzola left over to be fair) so got a mattress and a fluffy pillow and extended both stomach and body for an hour or two before reaching Dubai. I wouldn’t call it sleeping but it did involve some shut eye and no eating so all round quite helpful in the scheme of things.

After the SS experience there was going to be no DD (Dubai Dump) happening although it was tempting with some Caged Heat approaching. Yes after the leisure of BC , if was time for some cattle class for last leg to Paris. When you think about it , actually good experience for spending a few days with the cheese eating surrender monkies aka The French. Had deliberately saved any movie watching for this last leg and dutifully did so. Into Gay Paree by 830 pm meant we were entering our apartment around 1030 m so in total had been ” awake” for roughly last 48 hrs. For comparative purposes that feels about as long as watching 3 episodes of the Walking Dead back to back. The pre paid shuttle was rather useless with a typical non communicative frog at the wheel.

Time for some sleep as tomorrow have first booked tour- The Catacombes of Paris. I know cats are sacred over here but not sure how they can sell tickets for people sitting around watching them get their fur brushed? Time will tell.