Europe or Bust: A Second Crack

Posted: September 12, 2014 in Travel

Have always thought a second crack would be handy but that is a story for another day. With only a week to go its time to notify the adoring masses that there will be soon be a flog (ie a flood of blogs) so that they can adapt their schedule now to allow sufficient time to read and revel.

It all kicks off next Saturday morning at 0200. Why 0200? Because there were no 0300 flights. Actually though it was part of a master plan to fly first part of route to Dubai in Business class and not have to sell a Grandkid, or worse still, a functioning organ. Of course the flaw in the plan is that there will be eaties and drinkies in the lounge first (cause its free) and then eaties and drinkies on plane (cause its free) at a time when one is normally sleeping and not grazing. Time will tell the wisdom of this grand plan but luckily in BC on Emirates the headphone Jack doubles as a colonic irrigation input valve. For shits and giggles the waste is funnelled through to the cattle class wash basins.

So roll off the plane after what will seem like 3 days into the land of the Frog for some Prancing around Paris perusing points of interest and partaking in many pastries.There is some clamboring in catacombs but likely the highlight will be lunch at Le Jules Verne ( Post Code “bloody high up Eyefull Tower”) to celebrate the 55th birthday of CLP. Yep she is coming along this time – once again with BC you dont pay for excess baggage. Also getting reamed on a Champagne day tour which could be passable as spose to be some classic cathedral in the area and I do love me places of worship

Then it is off to Bounce around Barcelona and countryside with a weekend first in Lleida with family friends before Tapping into Tapas and Gorging on Gaudi for a few days in Barcelona itself. They have asked me to help finish off that that bloody Salada Basilica as it has simply become an eyesore. Mind you you gotta admire a civilisation that has a compulsory nanna nap after lunch written into law

Then the fun begins. Pick up a car in Perpignan and head back into Frenchy Town. First up we may care for a scone in Carcassone methinks. Little known fact – Maryhole is also a walled city. Must be – no one ever leaves!Then onto Millau, Aix En Provence and Chamberey at a leisurely pace over next few days albeit on the wrong side of the road. There are some interesting cheese caves near Millau and if I cant work a Monty Python line or two into there then I aint the clown I thought I was. A day to relax around Chamberey although a day trip to Lyon is likely.

Then it is 3 trains and a donkey into northern Italy for some Idling once again with friends for the weekend. Yeah yeah, I dont have friends – they belong to CLP and part of the package deal she brings to the table. Once in a while a cooked dinner would be nice too ? Anyhoo then it is another 3 trains and a unowinged biplane into Berlin via Milan and Frankfurt. I plan on being very quiet in Berlin as dont want to get shot. Certainly wont mention the war. For such an efficient race why do they have Oktoberfest in September? There will be segwaying of course and a day trip to Dresden.

Then it is off on a high speed train that goes so fast it floats on water – apparently – for some Cavorting in Copenhagen. I imagine we will eat a lot of Danishes. Is there anything else to do there after you sat on top of the Little Mermaid a few times? We plan to be or not to be at Kronborg Castle around Oct 21 – that could be too clever for the intellect of my general reader but look it up folks. Its what I do – edumacate the ill informed.

Finally then some Dozing in Dubai on way home as we always do. When not snoozing around the pool will go to the top of the Burj Khalifa via the Tom Cruise route. Yep – platform shoes and a face mask all the way baby. If able to get up the stairs it will then be a BC trip back on an A 380 this time so that I can arrive back home in a relaxed state for the gruelling days ahead of …………. well golf I guess. After the insufferable number of comments in last 18 months “well your golf handicap must be dropping” I can finally answer “well yes it is down to 10 now”. Of course now that I am in my purple patch of form there will be no stick and hole work for next 6 weeks. Well not on the golf course anyway – ya with me

Yes we have the T Shirt


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