So, finally got in to see orthopod 1 – lets call him Dr Kneedy – a month ago and general concensus was yeah its on the way out but if not too painful 24/7 suck it up Princess and these helpful words only cost $220. Bargain. As he was so approachable I asked about my ankle. Ok, that needs to be fixed. Whew. When can we do that ? Ah no I dont do ankles you need Orthopod 2 next door – lets call him Dr Wankle. And I guess that will be another $220 ? He just smiled and wrote out a referral for a visit and a new xray.
Saw Dr Wankle last week and maybe should have been on alert when I walked in and saw
Ok have looked at xrays and that looks painful. No shit Sherlock. There are 3 things we can usually do
- Nothing – how did that work out for ya the last 40 years ?
- Replace joint – not possible in your case – too far gone (not first time have heard that)
- Final offer – fuse the ankle
So basically, crawl back out or accept final offer ? Yep. Oh so what does a fusion entail? Pain and a lot of rest afterwards but will be able to walk much easier because your wallet will be a lot lighter. Gotta love orthopod humour. “I call it Grind n Bind for short. Have you ever seen a carpenter fix a wonky leg on a coffee table? Basically some chiseling , some grinding, some smoothing and then a shitload of screws and a plate”
“Will I still be able to pass through Airport security?”
“Well, not quickly” Fucking orthopod humour.
“How about golf?”
“Well your short game will still be good, it will just include your tee shots now” He was on a roll, so gave up
Basically 6 weeks in plaster and then 4 weeks at least in a moon boot. I rang Elon Musk (well at least tweeted him) to book my space flight but he suggested I may need to boost my hospital cover to be
Discussed with CLP as she will be Nursey Mercy and she seemed overjoyed with the prospect of me living there for 6-10 weeks. At least I think they were tears of joy
So we have a trip to Melbourne next month for 10 days and then we line up on June 2nd for the slice and dice. Seemed best to do in winter when cooler and wont be so frustrated looking at pool and not being able to swim. Means cancelling short solo trip to Sydney but the way Qantas operate these days that was always a 50/50 chance anyway eh. Does mean for Xmas in July at YabbaDabbaDo I will be waited on hand and foot like a Roman Emperor so not all bad …..
Speaking of Offers, Paramount have released a 10 episode limited series on the troubled making of The Godfather called ….. wait for it…… The Offer. I knew of many of the problems with local “family” and casting but this seems a tad embellished even with Ruddy involved. The casting is spot on though so well worth a watch
10 episodes, 10 weeks ……. spooky eh.
flashman181 