flashman181

Hey if reduntiree is a word so is musoanings. Look it up. It was going to be musings abut then realised a lot of moaning may creep in and not the good kind. Spookily it also describes my general feeling when CLP suggests we visit another museum on holidays. Its been a while so grab a cuppa and sit back as it is time to review some of my pet peeves and see if 2016 looks any brighter

Um no.

News. Spending time with CLP does involve watching the nightly news but its a fair trade off I guess 🙂 My loathing of the fluff that passes for News bulletins is well known amongst the devoted and if anything it is only worse in 2016. The most annoying aspect of course is the continual “later in the bulletin” click baiting that occurs all the time. This of course includes that old favourite waste of time – the weather. They cross to the weather girl/weekend news anchor at least 4 times during the bulletin without actually telling you what the weather will be tomorrow but instead tell you what the weather was today and then tease a little about the future while waiting for the darts to get reshafted at the Endeavour foundation. News flash clowns – I know what the weather was like today, I fucking lived it! Extending this moronic theme even further they even had an early report from the “Pink Test” cricket last night in first segment where they mentioned our spinners did well without ever once giving a bloody score! Ane then the cream de crap – the constantly running nine news promo during every second ad break with the clear highlight being the sheila running with mic in hand and hair bouncing but face never moving. I tell ya I was transported back to the start of The Six Million Dollar Man slow mo clips – only Majors had slightly less chin stubble and more animated acting skills. CLP is a sweet sweet lady but this News thing is on the table kiddo

Weather. The thing that continues to amuse and of course annoy is that during most news bulletins there could well be a story highlighting a new invention or a cure for cancer with the general theme being how technology and intelligence has improved these days. Then we get to the science of weather. 1950 called and they want their string back. What is clearly a sign of early onset Alzheimers is that I actually planned my day today around the fact they were predicting rain! Just what a minute while I pull down the shade – that sun is blinding me . Ok thats better. So the rain?? Ah yes, tomorrow for sure and up to 100 ml. Get the SPF 30 ready folks. The only thing worse than the weekly weather is the weekend report where they get to fuck up the surf report as well. Talk about your daily double. Our current fave forecast is “70% chance of rain and there will be 30 mm”. That is a fair amount of rain that could fall – or 30% chance of absolutely zero. It boggles the mind really

Sports Reporting. Well of course we had some Hayne Hysteria again because he ran 11 yds and didnt fall over. I actually think Haynso has handled it all very well – but then again if he wasnt there he would be stuck at Parramatta so even carrying the Gatorade has to look good at present. The Windies are duds as expected which sadly means the buffoons in the commentary team have to fill in with amusing anecdotes and new technology. They really take us for fools suggesting that the Widies showed some real ticker in that second test. Ah no. How about we have a cod ordinary bowling attack that will struggle to take 20 crickets in the 3 day tests we have now adopted. Imagine if we still had Starc and Johnson, fresh from several sessions on the couch with the good doctor natch, fit and raring to go. (Send the couch to Molic, A when done thanks fellas)The Big Bash is actually the best cricket to watch except for that tosser Flintoff, F. sprouting forth. Lets face it , until PGA golf starts again there is no real sport on TV

Customer Service. My financial advisor insisted I buy a wine fridge. I only say that to see if he still reads my blogs (PS If u do can I start charging people for this honour?). Anyhoo Dan Murphy had quite a good deal where you buy $200 of wine (ergo one week’s worth) and get same off a Grand Cru wine fridge. Initial fears started when discovered the actual fridge came from a third party – HOME ICON – but these were somewhat allayed when contacted within days assuring me it would be delivered the week starting Dec 13th and driver would contact day before with 2 hr delivery window. Sweet as I am a busy boy. By Thursday and no contact I rang them and left a few messages, still polite at this stage, in their mailbox. She finally contacted me next day to say I was just going to ring you and inform you of delivery issues as it is such a busy time of year. Nah Sweetheart that dont wash with me. If u sell an item at Xmas time to cash in on the fact that it is XMAS TIME eg fridge needed for friends visiting ( ok ya got me there but she didnt know that ) yada yada yada you cant then suggest you have been caught out by the time of year. She then promised me next Tue/Wed for sure. Fine I said because you realise Xmas is Friday ? Yes Sir. By Wednesday afternoon I was getting pissed off. Not only by non delivery but also complete lack of contact or response to some of my “comments” in her mailbox. Most along the line of ” you do understand the concept of a message system??” Throw in a few choice adjectives and you get the gist. Xmas passed and then I sent an email to Home ICON and got no response for two days until at 7 am of all times on NYE a quick response says it will be delivered today (NYE). Ah no it wont I aint home. Long story short it was FINALLY delivered today with one final twist in the tail. “Yeah just up these back stairs mate” “We are not allowed to take fridges up stairs” Say What! “I can help you carry it up but cant use trolley” Ok sure, with that sort of logic you should be in management pal. It wasnt that heavy which may indicate that apart from everything else its construction is not stellar. Given the temps we get in Maryhole a lot of the year I had to try something because the Ben Ean was starting to taste a bit fruity

Movies. Not So Secret Santa forked over 2 Gold Class tickets so time for the annual mixing with the great unwashed. Picked an early sitting to minimise numbers (8!) and saw the latest Star Wars blockbuster. Hmm. Ok did not read much before hand apart from the return of the big 3 but was a bit surprised that this was really yet another chapter in a never ending story. I have a new theory ,not involving dinosaurs, about these franchise movies. The first is always the best. The original SW was a good old boys own adventure story that stood as a lone film if necessary but was suitably enhanced by the two sequels. Then we got another 3, the second of which holds the dubious record of only movie ever walked out of a cinema for. Take your Marvel yarns – the first Iron Man was great but after that ? Captain America? Batman is maybe the only franchise that reinvented itself after the Icy Riddler nonsense and got better with Dark Knight being the standout. The beauty of first SW was there were 3 main characters with simple names. The more complex the names become the less easy to follow is the story. Of course they will rake in the millions. It is interesting that at same time many movie series become more complex TV shows are being dumbed down even further

Enough moaning though as this was a lovely holiday period. Time with CLP and family in very nice surroundings and rather pleasant weather has been hard to beat. And of course Adventure Before Dementia is a mere 6 weeks away. If I remember to catch that first plane. That one is the deal breaker methinks. Two things are certain – plenty of selfies with alcohol in hand and an unsatisfactory interaction with Centrelink awaits. The second actually contributes to the first

Later dudes