flashman181

Lets kick off with two golf tournaments from last weekend. First up we had the Splits playing a Singapore Sling and the Funnel had it under control – right up until the last hole. She would have made Sharkie proud with her brain fade on the first playoff hole and this was luckily overshadowed by the miraculous eagle putt by Cream my Jeans a hole later. Then we had the potato farmer Rory play a superb second to the last hole at the Honda Classic, after an earlier collapse, with all that remained was a glory filled 12 footer for eagle and win . He missed. Same hole for playoff, similar position for second shot but went through green and a lousy chip later and all over red rover. The Bear trap claimed another victim. This weekend looks like another pearler on Trumps Blue Monster (as opposed to the red monster which is his wig). Another tough course, another great finish coming no doubt. Tiger may actually be in contention so will probably have to check later in the day to see who actually won given the cameras wont leave the striped one all day.

Then we had the Gentleman’s game of cricket. Yep I almost gagged on that one too. Pup’s agent told him, look mate everyone including me hates you. Get some mongrel in the young dog. I know tell some hated Pom(a Melbourne Cup field admittedly) that you will break their fucken arm or something. Hey it worked, your approval rating soared to double digits just below Rose Corby. More work needed – abuse some Saffers when you already have your foot on their throat. Ca ching Ca ching. Make sure you get The Ghost Who Porks – yep Warnie – to come over for the last test too so the cameras have something to focus on during the slow periods. As to the actual cricket? Warner batted very well but simply needs to shut the fuck up. Smith looks like the kid who would get a regular beating in school yard every lunch time but emerged as the true rising star. Great on Rhino for sealing the deal and even when Mitch doesnt get wickets he still bowls sensibly. Doolan looks good technically but needs a dynamic injection if batting number 3. Sadly all the good stuff is over shadowed by simply appalling on field behaviour.

Then we have the NRL kick off. Rabbits look world beaters but then it is only the start of the season – been there done that. GI looks massive and the players just seem bigger and faster each year. Until you get to the next game with the Broncs and Bulldogs. If Barba stays fit the Broncs can make the 8 but it wont matter much at end of season except Hook probably keeps his job. Looks like 4-6 sides in contention and daylight second. Hoffman is not five-eighth but is a great player and has to be somewhere. Vidot looks the goods but they need a kicker and Hunt is not it at present. Broncs hang tough but lack the wow factor – Hodges will help but they need to sell something and get a quality half back for 2015. Maybe Locky’s voice box up on Ebay? Maybe Matthew Johns contract. Fair dinkum that guy is trotted out on 17 shows a week. He just isnt that funny anymore. Of course the only sad news about return of NRL is reappearance of that cockhead Waterhouse in my life and the constant yabbering about bets. Which is only slightly worse than Rabbits giving us his expert view on how great a show Fat Tony is. Lordy Lordy, stick to footy fellas.

There was probably other sport but there is only 24 hrs in a day and I need my beauty sleep. If I look this good on 6 hrs sleep a night imagine what 7 or 8 could do??

Luckily dont have the sound of rain on roof to keep me awake

Not since 03 anyway.