Monday Moan 11.11.13

Posted: November 10, 2013 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

Could be a short post as not a lot to moan about this week – as the actress said to the Bishop. Easing Back into the Maryhole pace of life which is akin to a Buddhist snail on valium. The gym and coffee start is all sorted but then the day in front stretches long – like a group of adolescent boys in their jocks watching a Miley Cyrus music clip.

The walking 18 holes of golf experiment? Give it a pass mark – shot 83 but lost 3 balls :(. I prefer to say 83 rather than “1 under handicap” because the latter simply draws focus on my embarrassing handicap these days of 14! . I have a second theory – the first one naturally involves dinosaurs. Playing in a cart in a group of walkers is detrimental to my game. It is like sex – a lot of rapid movement followed by a lot of hanging around waiting for the other player to finish. Also it can be difficult to get to where my ball sometimes is by cart – much easier on foot. Of course the next day my spine felt like a Jenga tower with a few pieces missing so it may be a week to week proposition

Then it was out to Toowoomba to spend QT with Wilbert, Pat the Lad, and Ka Ka. Simply wonderful grandchildren but was on life support after 36 hrs. Its a different world and just as my body clock was back on track it gets thrown a curve ball. Lunch at 11 am, Dinner at 5 pm……. I now realise my bedtime is determined by my dinner time. Just add 2.5 hrs after dinner – ready for bed at 730 pm! And what exactly are they doing with the Toowoomba range?? Apart from causing traffic chaos and spending millions of dollars?? Dont see any extra lanes being put in which would appear to be a no brainer if going to this much trouble and expense

Back to Maplehead Inc to finalise flights for next years holiday Europe or Bust 2 – A Second Crack. Now having sampled some luxury I was keen to at least try Qantas Premium Economy one flight. Not sure about this Qantas – Emirates alliance. Looks to me like Emirates still has the Dubai gateway stitched up. If you want to fly Qantas to Europe you have to go via Honolulu and Vladivostok apparently! So we ended up with a “mixed class” fare which I think means on one leg we sit on the wing. We do kick off in Business Class though – darool darool – where we get to throw peanuts at the economy class passengers as an added bonus to make up for unavailability of pork. On the second leg though we may be eating these same peanuts as it is cattle class on Fokker Friendship I think. All in all 4 different flights to add to the whole travel experience.

Then it was time to head home and devoted followers know the routine. Gimpland Maccas mark today – 3/10. They lose 2 for arrogance. One tends to ask for coffee at this drive through more as a question rather than an order. Capuccino? “Sorry Sir, our Frother is not working – only latte or Flat White” “This has to be the worst coffee machine on the planet”. “Well it gets so much use Sir we are very Busy!” WTF – Was I suddenly transported to NYC?? If only. No this was Gimpland , with a population of 25,000 – or 50,000 if doing a head count. Ok mate, you want to play that game. “Brown swill and a Sausage Egg McMuffin and make it quick I am a busy man!”. He smiled . Then he laughed. We High-Fived. “Never Bullshit a Bullshitter Son” . He gave me an extra plastic spoon. How nice. Then I saw his phone number written on the back. That is one quarter pounder I have zero appetite for. Then this Flat White headed home to the certainty of Maryhole.

So not a lot to moan about and the next week looms as largely uninteresting and not a lot of blog fodder on the horizon. Then again the Weather Clowns are predicting a week of showers and storms. Next weeks blog virtually writes it self doesnt it? So the current hit list stands at

1. C**tbell Newman
2. TV Weather Presenters
3. Gimpland Maccas Drive through

But these are not serious issues today folks


Lest We Forget

jess and me


3 kids

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