Tuesday Thoughties

Posted: August 25, 2015 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

So Pup has finally left the kennel and the mongrel took winter with him! Suddenly our batsmen understood how to leave a ball outside off. Pup needed 220 runs to average 50 in test cricket and be considered a great but fell a tantalising 205 short to now be considered a “former captain and current Channel 9 commentator” in all future introductions. Siddle showed how to bowl with line and length and many may say where was he last test match? Dont matter mate when you get bowled out for 106 in the first innings! Before too long this series will simply be remembered as stated in the record books – a 3-2 loss on foreign soil. Jolly good effort chappies – here are some more bags of money for you. Sandwiched between a towelling in the West Indies and a flogging in Bangladesh, many test records will hardly be affected and the major problems apparent to blind Freddy will once again go unanswered. Why did England perform so badly? They are professional sportsmen simple as that – their minds and motivation work differently to normal folk

For more on this fascinating sub species lets move to NRL. As certain as a win in dead rubber in Test cricket was so is a cellar dweller beating a top contender when their season is over. These people are not the sharpest tools in the box and seem motivated by things that seem less important to us – than winning the premiership for example! These buffoons run around all year with no clear form guide but given a chance of picking up the wooden spoon, suddenly become world beaters. Manly were already thinking of next week when got cleaned up by Parra but Melbourne last night was simply inexcusable and Bellyache agreed. Broncs couldnt beat a depleted Roosters side which pretty well sums them up – close to the top but not quite there. Sticking with Roosters/Cowboys GF with Bulldogs the smokies. Of course it is hard to get much local NRL news these days with Boy Wonder Hayne catching a ball and running 20 yds in USA. Dont get me wrong, he looks good and should make the squad but with NRL almost over can we send Rabs over to commentate purleese. If I hear one more vegemite or kangaroo quip I will be physically ill – and not just from too much vegemite or Roo meat. If nothing else I will at least watch some more NFL this year it seems but has always been a very slow and complex game for moi.

Some media gooses seem shocked that Sydney and Melbourne have such a high numbers of clowns using the Ashley Maddison Stray Shaggers Site. In particular they refer to a “racy” city like Rio only coming (no pun intended) in 11th. Does this mean that Sydney is more racy than Rio? Of course not, I doubt Rio even has the internet. I think it says in general the folk in these Aussie cities are arrogant, lazy fools. No need to put in any effort to stray when I can just sign up with this app on my work provided phone. Mathematicians have looked at the sums and reckons that it implies that 15% of the active working male population in Melbourne has a profile. Luckily I was never an active worker. If 95% of subscribers are male does that mean that the 5% sheilas are very, very busy or that as usual about 90% of men are missing out ? Sao Paulo actually tops the list apparently – guess playing wet the biscuit there is still popular.

Who invented the term the “pub test” and can he or she please be shot immediately. The term itself is harmless enough but does grate when you hear someone like The Parrot or Karl Stuffanosepick use it regularly and that queasy vegemite feeling comes back. Could not imagine the last time those clowns were in a pub but glad I wasnt there as well. At least Jones has moved on from “struggle street”. Mind you if this current financial crisis deepens much more we may all be walking down Struggle street soon looking for a pub – and some cheap Chinese takeaway. Interesting to see how Tony et al deal with it

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