Sport, Sharks and Stupidity

Posted: July 19, 2015 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

Well it is Monday. Big weekend of sport with the only icing remaining is for an Aussie to triumph at St Andrews. So lets start with the golf

It was looming as a great couch potato night on Saturday with golf and cricket starting before my bedtime. So, just after the 6 pm news. Sadly the golf was not on and the cricket one sided. Now if Kerry Packer was running golf and we didnt worry so much about traditions they would have been out playing in the puddles and the gales. Because it would have been funny to watch. All hackers love seeing Pros struggle or having to hit a One wood into a 170 m Par 3. Instead the tournament stretches into tonight and while the Aussies are well placed you wont even see them tee off before 11 pm. There were some other highlights though including Tom Terrific’s final appearance. An emotional time leading to a disappointing bogey at the last rather easy hole – due to his nemesis of last 20 years, a streaky putter. And we also had the vision of Sir( English sportsperson who won more than a meat tray = knighthood) Nick Faldo walking up the last proudly wearing the same pullover he wore 30 years ago at Muirfield. Now Nick is a great commentator these days but a very vain man by all appearances which also accounts for the fact his hair is still the same colour as it was 30 years ago too! Tiger missed another cut. One can only wonder when that no longer is really news

The cricket was one sided from the get go. Golfers in tournaments can receive a big advantage simply based on draw as happened in first day at the Open when the early groups had a huge advantage and can even in fact be difference between making cut or not (Yes Tiger played early as well!). Same with the toss in cricket which is a bit unfortunate when you think about it. A match can be largely decided before a ball is bowled. Once we won toss and batted Poms were always going to struggle. And of course as always happens what appears to be a road to one team suddenly becomes a minefield to the other. Nevill and Marsh looked the goods so Watto may as well go home now. Johnson bowled well and it was a great team effort – almost the perfect match much like the Maroons in SOO 3. It will be the next test that tells us where we really are. We better win the toss!

On a weekend when we were at the spiritual home of golf and cricket it was only fitting that the Davis Cup was played at its spiritual home in Australia – Darwin! Now to be fair it was an easy mistake. Kyrgios was asked about his thoughts on Davis Cup at last press conference and said “I will likely crack a poo”. Cloth eared TA officials thought he said “I would like to see Kakadu” so quickly changed venue to Darwin to entice him to play. Sound plan that worked a treat. Not. Luckily Little Ley Ley did his usual trick and one can only hope that Nick the Greek spends some more time with LL because he started out as an insufferable twat too. I do think LL should not bar up after match point even if very excited though – not a good look


NRL is getting to the business end and while Broncs are travelling well would agree that Roosters are deserved favourites as long as they can avoid injuries and their AAA rating – Arrests, Assaults and AVOs. Cowboys are a definite chance as well of course. Talk of switching GF to Suncorp is nonsense but they have had some great events there of late and really if hearing “Never Walk Alone” in a full stadium doesnt give you goosebumps you just may be dead

It wouldnt be a Monday without a moan about Channel 9. Before heading out to golf course had the Today show on to get the 6 am bulletin . Yeah what was I thinking? The shark footage was rather amazing though I must say. They say a Great White and probably right although he did seem to not have his heart in it, let alone his teeth. Fair sized fin though and maybe the most amazing footage was seeing his Aussie mate paddling in to help out at great speed with no concern for own safety. They are a unique breed, your average surfer


Then we had the Bronnie Bishop nonsense. Most politicians that rise to a high position have a certain arrogance of course. With people like Keating or Howard for example it was well earnt but more importantly they had a sense of the office and some respect borne out of years in opposition. Much like a couple of the current Labour ministers in the Qld government some never understand that and it all happens a bit too quick for them. That cant be said for BB who has been around for ever and should be paying her own carbon tax on that hairdo. Remember when she was the great Liberal hope back in the early 90’s for about 3 weeks until, like with all ultra conservatives, they are soon found out to have a very limited knowledge across the spectrum and are one theme clowns. As PK so beautifully described her ” all tip, no iceberg”. I have never understood why The Speaker is such a high position and BB has only added to the confusion. She really shouldnt smile, it is a scary look and kids could be watching. Speaking of which…….

But wait there is more drivel to come for the Today show. They had an article on the latest $100 mill grant for a new plan “Kick and Play” to get school kids more active. That totally insipid stand in host Campbell suggested “the biggest problem I think is that parents spend too much time on Facebook and Twitter and dont play with their kids” But the best was yet to come “What do you think Australia? Jump on Facebook or twitter and let us know” Fuck me slowly. You cant write this stuff. Media Watch naturally is my must watch program each week and they did a great bit last week on the ridiculous reporting by 9 on the Lorna Jane non issue where she wanted to hire a small skinny woman to tell other small skinny women how good they look – oh and answer the phone and make the tea. Now much like their 60 minute fiasco they only told half the story but of more concern were the half hourly crosses to the store in Brisvegas waiting for it to open and hoping to find an angry mob outside threatening to boycott. Sadly the only women around at the time were drinking coffee and eating donuts so not really your LJ demographic.

Perfect for The Today Show though

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