After the Knighted One Parky opened up Thorpedo like a can of week old sardines the search was on for equally fascinating interview subjects who were prepared to divulge very well known information disguised as a shock revelation if the ca-ching counter was pleased. I was fortunate enough to get a leaked copy of the interview synopsis which also included the “big reveal” and it only cost me my dignity. Talk about reselling used items!
1. Clive Palmer. Relates his moderately successful brush with the Michelle Bridges 2034 week plan but then reveals “I HAVE GRAVY ON MY CHIPS”
2. Darius Boyd . Fascinating insight into his meticulous planning prior to media interviews before finally admitting “I AM DUMB AND SHOULD PLAY IN THE FORWARDS”
3. Tony Abbott. Trumpeted his promotion of sheilas (his term not mine) in his cabinet before declaring “I HATE WOMEN”
4. Eddie McQuire. Outlines his Top 10 things he loves about Sydney and then blows it by finally admitting “I HATE SYDNEY”
5. Kochie. Admits to an underlying admiration for the work of the Today Show before snarling “I HATE KARL” (who doesnt eh Kochie?)
6. Kim Kardashian. Had nothing to say luckily but did reveal “A BIG ASS ” when she went running out in a huff.
7. Campbell Newman. Apologised for closing down Maryborough Pathology before luckily wifey stepped in to declare “HE CANT DO IT ANYMORE ”
8. Alan Jones. Did not let Parky get a word in for 2 hrs and then Thorpey came and picked him up for lunch “THEY HAD THE SAUSAGES” a loose lipped waiter later divulged
9. Greg Norman. Details the seventeen majors he lost through sheer bad luck before begrudgingly stating “I CHOKED IN 96”
10. Greg Bird. Bought along his brain scans to dismiss those nasty rumors but in an ironic twist turns out they were under developed too so he finally admitted “WISH I WAS A QUEENSLANDER”
NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH.
Carbon Tax repeal passed after Clive Palmer removes impasse
In totally unrelated news it was revealed that Palmer had drafted and Abbott ensured passage of legislation ensuring Greg Bird must remain a Blue for rest of playing career
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