Monday Moan 25.11.13

Posted: November 24, 2013 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

Its hard to moan when you wake up on a Monday and Aussies lead the Ashes 1 zip. But not impossible. After all my whole plan for the day of watching the cricket is gone! Us reduntirees plan our days around major Televisual Events. So lets scratch a little beneath the surface before we pop the champagne corks.

Fans would know I called this series early after first session on Day 1. Who would have thought the Poms could be even more pathetic? Ok its easy to be painted as the eternal pessimist but in reality this win, as great as it was, covered over a few cracks in our team. Its just that Poms have Bigger Cracks. Something we have always suspected. So the good news? Our bowling attack looks good and balanced. However lets wait until after Adelaide before starting the Moustache Mitch for PM campaign. To win the Ashes we need to win the series – yes that is a simple statement maybe but just highlighting a drawn series wont cut it. Brisbane and Perth were the two matches we had pencilled in and the Poms Powdering against some quality lively bowling tends to support that. The 3-0 result in England was never a true indication of the difference in the teams – but it did give the Poms momentum. Its a pity Perth does not follow next while the foot is on the throat – may as well hit them there with a couple of bouncers as well. Warner and Pup look good in front of the pegs. Rogers and Watto not so much and jury still out on Bailey. Haddin seemed relaxed and that bodes well. Hard to see the Poms batting as poorly again. Everything went our way from the toss to the weather. The true test will come when some adversity kicks in – MM saved us on day 1 but we all know at some stage in this series Mitch will likely be in the fetal position in the corner of the dressing room tugging at his moustache. The best thing of course about being a fearless soothsayer is worst that can happen is you end up with egg on your face – but we win the Ashes. Any true cricket tragic would have a carton a day cracked on his head if it meant we beat the Poms!

Speaking of winning could Aussieland enter 2014 as holders of Ashes, World Cup of Golf and Rugby League – and of course the Green Jacket. Halcyon days my friends taking us back to the eighties and that 12 m boatie thing in the wet stuff. And a PM that wears Budgie Smugglers.

When exactly did news reporting become so pathetic in this country? It is like the Today show now runs at 6 pm on weeknights. Every news bulletin last few days lead with the cricket. The only one that didnt started with the bad storm damage – but of course had to mention how it impacted on the cricket at the Gabba! Then we had the fascinating exposes on drinking at Schoolies or Drugs in our Schools. Where is Mike Moore when you need him. Lordy Lordy it is bad.

Weather forecasting? Remember how the Red Sea had relocated to Maryhole and all storms split and passed ? I am starting to think it is my magnetic personality. The same thing happened on weekend at Flashman Inc, Maplehead HQ. Storms approached and then parted , moved around, and rejoined out to sea. Currently in talks with software developers Come In Suckers to develop a weather app that overlays my exact position in Universe via GPS over the radar image. At last we may have the perfect storm chaser app. If successful I can then be hired to turn up to major sporting events where clear weather is required. But no, I refuse to travel to Adelaide.

Gympie Maccas? 7/10. Everything went smoothly but at the end of the day it is still only Macca’s coffee folks:) Worse still I may be becoming immune to the wonders of the Sausage Egg Macmuffin. Could my body be developing antibodies? Or is it just 8 a month is my limit?

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