flashman181

Devoted followers would be aware of my general aversion to attending any gathering of the great unwashed involving more than 2 people. As such trips to the cinema are very rare and exclusively limited to Gold Class sessions. Now in this particular instance there was a $100 voucher from GC2 used and CLP picked up the food and drink tab so it was cost neutral for moi but we are still talking about an event running close to 200 large in expenditure and that is the figure central to this discussion.

Now the voucher was a 2012 Xmas present so it has taken 6 months just to get to even GC. The movies of choice were either Man of Steel or Heat – an apparent easy choice but maybe not in hindsight. So we went for MOS – and it was rubbish. CGI destruction fest with a wandering story. When the scenes involving Costner are the highlight of a movie you know there are some issues. I am a child of the 60/70’s and I like me Supes with a secret identity and Lois Lane a virgin. Of course the actual movie is of limited significance in this discussion

So it didnt start well when we turned up at midday expecting a 12:30 session only to realise it was actually a 13:10 session. Still this is why God invented alcohol and the time passed relatively quickly. GC afficionados would know that you pre order food and drink – at elevated prices – to be served during the movie while you are luxuriating in your recliner chair. So we chose the Carnival Platter – also known as Heart Attack in Batter – priced at $55 to come out in first 30 minutes of movie along with a Corona and a glass of bubbles and then requested a Devonshire tea type thingy for the last half hour of the movie – or in this case 14:30. Now these tickets cost a total of $85 (with booking fee!) as it was a weekend. Now this is pricey but does tend to keep your bogans at bay so even in a crowded cinema no crowd control is generally required. The previews started, a couple of ads and then the movie began. Within 5 minutes we had our drinks. Tick! It then took another 25 minutes for the actual hot food – as in “nice to have with a cold drink” – to come out! Ok, no big drama as the sensory attack emanating from the screen was generally controlling my existence at present. So a Wagu beef burger, some onion rings and a few buffalo wings ( Note: – if buffalos have wings why cant they fly?) and we were rocking along and spreading our feast over a suitable time period while Gladiator suddenly reappeared despite being dead right? Anyway with still a few delectables left to munch on – our Tea and Coffee turns up! WTF. Supes hasnt even planted one on LL yet. Suffice to say some of our $55 platter went to waste. The good news though is that MOS finally ended and there was still one building in the far distance left standing. Probably a MacDonalds.

So there was a bad taste in our mouths for more reasons than one. However there are lessons to be learnt and while this session may have got a fail, GC in general is still a great concept for the anti-social movie lovers that walk amongst us. Just keep a couple of tips in mind

1. Dont go on weekends – prices drop down to $25 on Tuesday

2. Avoid fatty fried food. A glass of wine and a cheese platter is sufficient for War and Peace

3. Dont try for multiple feeding sessions. Just pick one time for everything to come out and stick to it

4. Avoid Zach Snyder CGI fests