The Lament of the Short Distance Nonrunner

Posted: May 8, 2012 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

God is a funny bugger at times. As you get older and your appreciation of wine, fine food  and even more wine increases as your metabolism decreases. This disparity is not good for the waistline. The brain cells can take care of themselves as apparently males have plenty to spare. We all know output must outweigh intake in all endeavours ,except sex, if we are to maintain a healthy mind and body. Then we have exercise. God having a laugh again. As we get older our abilty to exercise diminishes in a logarithmic scale which is rather appropriate as we at times resemble such logs. They say cardio-vascular exercise is the most important. If you run up a flight of 1000 stairs you can have a Mars Bar when you get there. Who is the sadistic bastard that hides chocolates at the top of long staircases? I hate CV exercise. Give me the pump of a good weights session anyday. Of course having lifted a lot of weights as a younger lad – who needs to warm up I am young and fit Ha! – has no doubt contributed to my current list of previously mentioned ills specifically back and shoulders. In one of those cruel yet ironic twists of fate these injuries now prevent me from doing CV exercise even if I wanted to. Luckily I don’t. I will keep going to the gym. I think my basic problem though is that I rush through the gym session so I can get home in time for a couple of glasses of wine before dinner. Even God would get a laugh out of that.

  1. ponderosa58 says:

    Laughing and then looking at the expiry date, and laughing even harder

  2. So what you’re saying is that we youths should skip all sorts of exercise now, for the sake of our health, and start building up a resistance to wine and fine food? This is a health plan that I can get behind, but probably not around without first losing my breath.

  3. flashman181 says:

    Resist wine and fine food? Never. Every morning you should walk over to MoMa , walk up to the 6th floor where all the good stuff is, ridicule some posers, walk back down, stroll to Central Park and then do 4 circuits of the park. You wont have any time left to eat or drink – health plan locked in. Imagine all the fun you can have laughing the the fat yanks

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