SliceNDiced – The Next Week

Posted: November 10, 2018 in Midlife Crisis in Maryhole

When last we left our hero he was looking forward to a sponge bath from a nubile nurse after a minor Nick n Stitch in general vicinity of right shoulder.

Wrong on both counts

Headed off to SCU Private hospital in plenty of time for 11 am admission. It’s an impressive looking place and all seemed to work smoothly. When they get most of your name right and a general idea “we are working on upper body today” then you are in pretty safe hands. Straight to Pre admission then and onto theatre so no time to check out my luxury suite for the night. We were ahead of time really so was surprised when 5 mins into admission a theatre nurse knocked on door and gleefully asked “ Is that David, we are ready “! Well, you may be Sweetheart but I have things to do. As did PA nurse including a shave. I thought she could have let it grow another day and concentrate on me but each to their own. Wheeled into waiting Bay adjacent to my theatre and still barely 1130 am. Then mostly lay there for at least 90 mins with occasional visit 😏 The Anaethetist was an impressive fellow but did comment “ have you had a lot of damage to this area in past, I can’t find the Bracchial nerve”? I was getting the full nerve block apparently as while surgery not major post op pain is they say . We tried several positions mostly involving neck at odd angle until he found it on the US and the fun started. I imagine the pain without it is monumental but when they load it up it ain’t no party for a minute or two. Still waited another 20 mins and rest is mostly a blur until woke up in post recovery

Back in a very pleasant private room and quite alert and no pain really . All obs were good and regular pain medication given. For a private hospital the actual nursing interaction was ordinary but the main things were done. There seemed no real allowance for fact I was one armed and if CLP had not turned up then dinner would have been very difficult. Things like a new bottle of water promised but never delivered etc. Minor things. Slept ok with usual obs breaks but was kinda amazed when it was approaching 7 am next morning and not even a cuppa. Did have a light dinner last night yes but had fasted from 2 am prior to that! Finally asked a nurse for a cuppa and she begrudgingly made one with scowl and comment that breakfast will be soon . Yep, a bowl of cornflakes , a small yoghurt and a juice, and a piece of toast . And yep no help at all in opening or spreading anything .

Hospital make a big deal of discharge at 10 am so seemed very lax in working towards this goal . “ Will surgeon visit this morning as promised ? “ Don’t know” I should add anaesthetist rang personally night before to check on me . Physio arrived and was great. Pharmacy order for the heavy stuff “faxed off “ and then time to remove bandages and clean area before that first all important shower. Luckily by now CLP had arrived other wise shower would have been pointless, not as if any help offered by nurses.

The new waterproof bandages held up even if some new bleeding occurred . Around 0930 now so well on track. I could have slept because no one came back in until 11 am, certainly no surgeon. “ Can I go home?” “ Just waiting on pharmacy , or u could pick up on way out “? That info would have been useful an hour ago Sweetheart .

We left . Again CLP did everything for me , we dropped into pharmacy where the security check before handing over nuclear strength opioids was “ what is you middle name “ ? So back to Flashman Inc Sunshine Coast still relatively pain free

Basically on mixture of Panadol (useless) , Clindamycin, Iboprufen and Oxycodene. By now first hints block was wearing off and hello pain. Of course the sad thing about this drug cocktail is no other cocktails or alcohol may pass your lips. Or at least I thought that was the worst part. Line 27 in the fine print for opioids mentioned constipation! By end of day 2 now I needed a few opioids for night along with other stuff during day. The test would be when the pain was no longer sufficient to still not be drinking alcohol 🤠

Actually a bigger issue arose before then. It arose around upper colon and stayed there actually! After 3 days of NO ACTION in the bowel movement arena and oxycodne stopped for 24 hrs it was certainly time to drink and eat . And the menu was limited

Then it was Epsom salts time. And some praying . By now night time sleeps were hit and miss with simply difficult to get comfortable on back for sleeping. Morning of Day 5 saw some surprising good action , one could even suggest well formed packages were dropped off. Of to Maroochydore for a walk and breakfast with healthy food top of agenda. And close proximity to a toilet . Yes, once the well formed passed we were left with the deformed before we finally found where the Epsom salts had been hiding. An interesting day followed to say the least but was an enjoyable breakfast

Day 6 was time to visit Toowoomba to catch up with the 6 pack all in one place, doesn’t happen often. Lovely day and they really are a treat. I especially enjoyed conversation with Harry who has all his major milestone birthdays lined up with main one being 18 th when he can watch Deadpool and drink Coke😂

So , as the first week passes all seems ok. No real pain anymore , just discomfort. Have staples removed next Monday and then first follow up visit with Surgeon. Surgeon did ring me at home that second night which was great . He explained what he had done and was surprised how bad the bicep tendon was and so had to screw it back on when in theatre 😳 4 weeks with a sling, and then start more Physio and no driving for 6 weeks. Which brings me to the standout this week

CLP has been amazing and would be totally lost without her. At my beck n call almost as if we were married 🕺🏼 She has tended to all my needs and then supplemented with delicious and thoughtful meals and treats. Thanks kiddo 😘

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