flashman181

At that stage of holiday after a week in a hotel that you start to develop roomitis. Maybe the AC and temperature variations but wake up with sniffly nose and tickle in throat . Could be Showgirl feathers to be fair 🤓. Nothing develops – yet – during the day so should survive tomorrow. Early start tomorrow means pack this afternoon and the good news is should be stress free tomorrow in business class. Will relax more when check in online this morning as always wary with booking changes going all the way through “ the system” .😏 Have to pick up car at airport and drive home to Flashman Inc so one drink on flight will suffice.

Plan then is to head out well rugged up after 730 am to MCG precinct for a while and tack on a coffee at the end .Do have another cocktail planned in Aria this arvo just to use up money honest 🤓. Have had a good run in the alcohol caper last two days so a bit lighter today. Well that’s the plan.

Another glorious brisk morning. Always great to visit the MCG and see the statues. Was following a Balloon around all morning for a bit of fun

Continued on then up through Yarra Park and had a decent coffee at Laurent which was next to a sadly closed Route 66 bar. Then onto Fitzroy Gardens before heading home. Think that bloody dog and Roo are following me

Will wait until can check in for flight at 10:20 then think will head down to Williamstown on train on such a glorious day . Check in all smooth so a training I will go. Read good things about Williamstown

Now in hindsight the crowded trains should have been first clue

Still a glorious day so looking forward to some seaside scenes. Hmm. Lots of cranes and boats but all behind fences. This place made Tiaro look like a thriving metropolis. I did eventually find a bar open and to be fair the beer was good value.

I did find what must pass for the Main Street and there were some shops and restaurants – all closed – until stumbled across Atomic Bar so dropped in for another beer and some lunch . No atmosphere

One thing have seen often here in Melboring is not a lot of encouragement to actually sit at a bar . So at end of day just because it was a bit dull doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea.

Back home then to do some packing and chill . Still have my last cocktail to fit in this arvo but will be a quiet afternoon and early night. Had a magic run with weather last few days and some great memories but pretty well ready to go home. Still have a few things ahead this month with several days in Brisvegas.

I’ll drink to that …… and it’s Goodnight from Him.

And so we slowly edge towards the end of my experimental stay and would deem it a success. Melboring is a great city especially on booteeful days. Less must see attractions than say Vegas but certainly plenty of great bars to partake in and around. With some great sport on next few days – Test Cricket and US Open golf – won’t be rushing out in the 4 degree mornings. Will still rush down to breakfast at 6:31 of course .

Once again a morning with nothing much planned turned into a wonderful few hours. First up a slow walk down to Shrine of Remembrance on a simply glorious day . It was brisk

Decided to check out Fed Square as some drums were beating. I felt a slight warmth on my forehead and a red laser focused there. Wow, CLP had upgraded her Find My app with the Find my Flash update and it works a treat. Apparently.

My dazzling smile reflected the laser like a mirror and quickly ducked away. Caught a tram up to Lygon Street even though only 0930. Pleasant walk with one or two cafes opened but no restaurants yet of course.

Time then to walk home in a leisurely stroll. Walking past State Library decided to stop and go in, sign a few of my unauthorised biographies, show Ned my tatt etc. Glad I did as very impressive place

It was now a tick past 11 am and thought rather than head home just yet why not check out the Duke of Wellington pub on Flinders as recall it has a rooftop bar. Once again, what an amazing place to have a drink . Even had a light lunch before heading home for a couple of hours chill. Do have my repeat visit to Fleet ( for happy hour ) at 4 pm after all

Duly arrived at 3:55 pm but lass was sticking to the rules so bye bye tip. To be fair do forget to tip much in Aussie and probably should in a Happy Hour

Went with the Holy Trifecta of cocktail, wine and martini because beer is so 2003. Threw some bread in to soak up the alcohol and worked a treat. Feel almost sensible as I swim across the Yarra to get home. Ahh……yes you could be right. I remember there was a bridge earlier

So another great day comes to an end . Loose plans tomorrow but will certainly be slower start as want to watch some golf. Then maybe check out the MCG precinct and see if any pigeons shitting on my statue .

Gave the gym a miss this morning as still a little seedy after last night 😏 Plan then will be to head down to St Kilda after breakfast for some fresh air and walking. The temperature at night in the room really is a pain despite AC etc.

Simply glorious morning especially down at the seaside. Not too clever catching an 8 am train with all the school kiddies but we live we learn. It was worth it to be at the beach nice and early. Very pleasant walk along esplanade and jetty

Ackland Street not quite as good as remember. Still plenty of cake shops but no great coffee outlets. Looking at the cafes would suggest the Italians have moved out. The locals did come out on the balcony to wave at least. Wouldn’t go there at night, enough druggies wandering around at 9 am!

Now I can take the thick jumper off and move to Tres Chic Golf attire to head back out . Not wasting this weather. Have changed my plane back on Saturday. For some reason booked a 13:20 flight out but have now switched to a more sensible 10:20 flight. Still allows for one last breakfast 👍🏻

Caught the tram down to Docklands to see some quirk and then plan was to walk back home and maybe a quick poke and a drink at Crown. You need a Crown Card to play and it took longer to sign up then to lose $30 😏

Afternoon plan then is to check out a couple of rooftop bars. Some don’t open until late so see how we go .

Love it when a plan comes together. Again

I do my research and the first factor is opening times duh. Then we look at mud map .Had 3 lined up within about 4 blocks . Sweet . First up is Morris House . Great start

Second choice was Imperial Hotel. Did I mention these places don’t tend to have lifts. Walked up 3 flights only to find it closed 😡 Ok , as number 3 didn’t open to 3 pm, back to maps. Ah good heavens there is one close by. Worth a go at the signature cocktail Blue Heaven.

Ok so it’s 3 pm , time for a spirit methinks at QT Rooftop. Then I saw the $15 cocktail special and couldn’t resist .

A sensible fellow would probably say well that was a good run. But really you are only young once . And that was 50 years ago so let’s rock. Dr Google gave some faint praise to Fleet Rooftop at the Vibe and was on way home honest Your Honour. What a stunning find. 22nd floor overlooking The Yarra and place to myself. Well apart from bar staff luckily. It’s just The Vibe man.

4 by 4 was quite impressive and wobbly boot firmly attached. The he bought out the Happy Hour Menu

I stayed strong but only being a 10 min walk max so said book me in for 4:01 pm tomorrow Chauncey. The problem then will be staying sober tomorrow until then. It’s been a magic 24 hrs really

Melbourne has been great and would suggest The Experiment has been a success. Truth be told though may be hard to fill in next 48 hrs productively. Pub Crawls are fine but not day after day. The other issue , as occurs overseas as well, is I am a morning person and nothing opens before 10 am. Maybe try Lygon Street tomorrow. Time will tell . There will certainly be a gym visit first up

Not quite as good sleep last night – mostly a mix of temperature and sacks of hay impersonating pillows. Do like how most TVs in hotels now have stream cast so just cast Netflix et al from iPad and settle in. Hopefully weather starts to ease today with last of showers and also dwindling crowds. No one in gym again at 530 am so that is good. Bunch of Woosies. Usual breakfast at 630 am and stand guard on the Toaster 😡 Was impressed yesterday when lady at entrance remembered my name and took me to my usual seat in the lonely loser section. Light breakfast again today and then it’s off to the the museum to get my blocks off

Mix of walking and trams as up near Lygon street. After being enthralled for 27 mins no doubt will then head into Lygon Street for a coffee methinks. Other plan today is the Whiskey Wobbler Wander at 5pm which leaves a lot of day to fill in . The longer I stay out in any one hit the harder to dress correctly. At least last time I looked there was no National Guard on the street shooting at reporters so Melbourne is winning over my usual LA at present😏

A truly glorious morning and a tad brisk initially. Caught tram up to Museum and nearly fainted when I saw the crowd mingling. Turns out the Uni across the quadrangle from museum was starting exams . In a sign of times all phones were being checked on entry

Rather poorly organised in the Museum but maybe because first timed entry for day. They book in every 15 mins so had about 20 in my group I guess. Had to sit through a 5 min video and then let loose. Truly amazing work – 8 million bricks and 25000 man hours. Surely they wouldnt miss a couple 🥸It’s a very interactive display and you are encouraged to build models as you go which seems odd if next crowd only 15 mins behind you. Pass. It is impressive how easily you recognise someone like Adam Driver in Lego.

The Star Wars chess set in the gift shop was brilliant . Overall a very impressive display but glad I went in first group. Nerds and Geeks everywhere. While close to Lygon Street it was a bit early to do justice and as an easy tram trip will do another day. Instead did a 10 min walk to old fave Seven Seeds in Carlton

Another 10 min walk to Queen Victoria markets but really zero interest. Did pick up a nice roll for lunch and then caught tram back to Flinders Street. 3 hrs on feet , even if not walking, is limit for ankle and toes. Back to chill for an hour or two and then maybe back across the river to check out a roof top bar. Cloud is rolling in but no rain likely.

Me always do research – things don’t just happen. Seems the best rooftop bars don’t open until Wednesday so move to Plan B – the old Holmes Watson double act . First up Sherlock Holmes is an old style British Pub downstairs so sadly no soap in bathrooms 😏Located on Collins street it was quite crowded which is the norm I imagine at 130 pm . Went with the Badger Fursty Ferrett amber ale and was fine

Remembering the Whiskey Wobbler ( WW) is still upcoming time to head upstairs to Dr Watson bar for a cocktail as they have less alcohol right 🤔 Spicy Margarita hit the spot and then a pleasant walk home and relax for a couple more before heading out.

Let’s lighten the mood with a John Oliver /John Stewart double

Well the Wobbler was memorable. Glad I took a lot of photos so I can remember tomorrow. Pretty good value really at $120 as each cocktail alone is around $26. First up was Pearl Diver which only found out today opened at 4 pm. A Festivus miracle. Sadly Muff Diver next door was closed but had an oyster so you know……🤓Ouch.

Friendly staff and nice and quiet at 4:03 pm. Took my time as next one didn’t open until 5 pm but in another Festivus miracle it was open at 4:50 pm as I stumbled in. All of these bars have a Speakeasy feel certainly but could be worth a return visit. The cocktail here was amazing with the preparation. Nick and Nora’s is a keeper

Lordy Lordy it was almost dark as I approached the last one Eau de Vie behind a non descript brown door. The alcohol was great again including a spooky Deerstalker which you can drink like a baby’s cup . As it was getting busier the attention was less forthcoming or else probably could have kicked on. Not sure be across the river at night much but wisely headed home. Reckon I will find my hotel sooner or later

And so another great day with some booked events . Rest of stay more relaxed and if weather good may head down to St Kilda tomorrow. It is Wednesday so that does mean full hot breakfast of course

Wow , looks like I shaved off my beard without realising….oh well. The Showgirls approve

Better nights sleep – less alcohol on board – but still leaves you with problem of what to do at 430 am on a drizzly dark morning. One advantage of travelling solo is can get up whenever you want , tell the showgirls to go home, and turn some lights on . Downside of course is laundry seems to keep piling up for some reason 👀 Let’s have a laugh…..jeans could be worth a go for $16.

Did someone say gym🤔 Probably full of yuppies but worth a look . Yay only one yuppie and a handsome devil as well. And some cricket on as well. Side note – watched Channel 7 News last night and sport didn’t even mention NRL games played yesterday🤦🏻‍♂️ . Keep SOO in Brisbane and Sydney and leave the other clowns with their nonsense. Rant over. For now.

Thoughtful to have a bowling alley down the middle. Well, that filled in 35 mins . Let’s check that radar again .

Well, this just feels personal now. Anyhoo it was predicted and should start to clear out tomorrow. Today also being a public holiday may be restrictive. There are plenty of events on each month in town and easy to find a lot of info. Arranged alphabetically so let’s start with A. Alcohol . Spooky .

So, plenty of themed events and the first one that stood out was a Peanut Butter flavoured Espresso Martini at any of the 5 Riverland locales along the Yarra for $16 . Now that is spooky . Clean jeans or Clean tonsils 🤓Now I have applied a stringent mathematical formula for this taking into account location, ambience, food options, showgirl availability and it finally came down to The Boatbuilders at South Wharf . Why you ask? Well it was the only one that opened at 10 am duh 🕺🏻

“All day every day from Sunday, June 1 to Monday, June 30, you’ll be able to order and sip classic espresso martinis (made with Absolut vodka, Kahlua and fresh espresso) and the shaken-up spin of peanut butter espresso martinis (Skrewball Peanut Butter Whiskey, Kahlua and fresh espresso) or a Baby G Shot (made with Kahlua and Bumbu cream). No matter the venue, the martinis are $16 each and $30 for two, while the shot is $10.”

Who knew G Spots could reproduce 🤓 Time for some breakky then but going light today. 2 pieces of toast and some Bircher muesli. Put the toast on the slow toast rack and get my bowl of muesli ready. Back to toaster and only one piece🤔 Look around and some clown loading up bacon and eggs …… on a piece of nice brown toast. Hey pal did you take my toast ? Oh sorry yes. FMS . Always amazed at how the little old Asian ladies can load and empty massive plates of food all the while yabbering to each other . Back to room and chill for an hour and watch end of Canadian Open golf.

And it went to a 3 hole playoff! Have a self guided walking/wobbling Whiskey tasting tour lined up for Wednesday night so thought would check out the 3 locales. About a 20 min walk but all close to each other. Glad checked them out as quite obscure little places. Of course half way through the rain came back so ducked into a nearby coffee shop owned by Top Gun himself. Forgot the old PH trick…

Then it was time to head over to DFO . Not many people realise that stands for David Ferguson Obviously. Time to catch first tram of the day as still bleak and ankle a bit testy . Went past my stop but maybe should not have pulled the Emergency Stop. Fair call Your Honour

Shop first or drink 🤔 Sometimes I crack myself up. It was 10:01 afterall

Ya cant go wrong with Kahlua eh. Actually the EM was a little strong but me no complain. Then into my own Outlet as looking for some new jeans. Not sure what CLP does with them in the washing but they always seem to shrink over time. 🤓 Now I know da ladies complain about body shaming etc but seriously went to Just Jeans and biggest size they have is 38. I am usually a 40 with a tail wind so said that was odd. She suggested I go next door to Johnny Big . Well you can get fucked sweetheart . Went down to Levi’s and found a pair of 40 . They were in a glass case marked 1980 exhibit but still bought them. Then I got Richard Gere ( in town for the footy ) , my new hat and went back to Just Jeans ….

Speaking of the footy big crowd in town for AFL blockbuster today. Looks like weather may be clearing a bit too. Looked for a Big Freeze beanie but haven’t found one yet . Does make me realise afternoon sun does come streaming through my window.

Rather quiet afternoon then as let the crowds move on and the weather fully clear. Hit the ground walking tomorrow and building an itinerary block by block starting with…..wait for it…. The Star Wars Lego exhibition at The Museum of Boring Crap at 9 am. Have moved the Whiskey Wobbler forward a night now so just have to fill in the day but will have to visit animal refuge at some stage. Finally found that Sheila so now I need a cunning plan

So we have a salad in fridge for dinner , must be time for today’s cocktail at Aria. Not my best choice – a rather bland Mohito

Down to $46.50 left . Time to look forward to rest of today

No big hassles noise wise with guests but Southbank rocks early evening especially on a Saturday night. First night always tough as usually lousy pillows ✅ soft bed ✅no sheets just one doona ✅and cant get AC right ✅ It’s just lucky I am an easy going relaxed kinda guy. Who said ya can’t do a city justice on 3 hrs sleep. At least it is a relaxing room for sitting with very comfy extended chair. Shan’t give away the room number in case lurking lasses but will give a clue

I am the one on the right smart ass 😏 5 am update

First plan today then is to check out my free daily breakfast in on site Melba Restaurant. Sadly not open until 630 am . If was not raining would go for a walk first but for now let’s get the lay of the land. Now what was her room number again….

On my short walk yesterday found an entrance/exit on 10 th floor that comes out in Southgate under cover rather than the front entrance out in the open. Could come in handy with weather forecast. The real problem – am I right ladies – is dressing oneself. The room is positively toasty, the restaurant warm bread , outside is brisk , and as for Kyneton well who knows especially as an hour train ride first . Layers is the go as one does in NYC etc unless Trump has banned layers thinking it was related to bird flu. I have heard of 4 seasons in one day but not just to leave the hotel 🤔

You will shocked and amazed to know I was first at breakfast. Luckily there were no “ eating soon” announcements to get the morons lining up. Singapore breakfasts were great but this is right up there and feel very comfortable because once again all the staff are Asian 😁Will be interesting to see if busy earlier on work days. This could get dangerous after 7 days and not easy to walk it off in this weather . Have to go back to room for another layer for starters 😏

Good walk considering but rain always threatening . Hope it goes away by 10 am for walk to railway station . And it did. Now how to dress . Let’s check current temp , especially that pesky “ feels like” number. Hmm, some gloves and beanie would have been a smart pack

Crowded train but trip only just over an hour. Must be some event like a Comic Con on in Melbourne today because there were a lot of folk heading away from station and every second one in an outfit . Weather for the most part held off. Certainly brisk and dank but we even fitted in a short walk after a little swallow. Probably a rude joke in there but I am too mature to say it . Lovely catch up with JL and a very tasty lunch in a very crowded little town

Even though crowded there did appear to be a GQ shoot going on in the Main Street. Now ladies , have to warn you not to stare too long and of course don’t scan the code because that removes the clothes…….hey it was 3 degrees ok !

Train trip home a bit quieter and back in a dry Melbourne by 3:30 pm. The 20 min walk home will be good after a lot of seating and a lovely lunch. I suspect there could be a cocktail in near future and a very light dinner in room.

Damn I am good . Had a mango rumbo at Aria on site as have $100 to spend and with what they charge should run out Tuesday . Then went for another walk in light drizzle and picked up some Sushi for dinner

And that is Day 2 done and dusted. Have a couple of things lined up during week but tomorrow will still a bit free and easy as public holiday and still some rain around.

As USA continues under the Orange Junta any plans to visit USA this year , or indeed next 3 years, were shelved for time being. With my tatts and Trump with a magic marker I could end up in El Salvador as an MS13 member. I certainly wouldnt give them access to my social media – not that I could stop them of course. How will my fans cope let alone moi. ?

So while enjoying recent trips to Brisvegas with CLP always still the lure of a solo trips to big cities in cool weather. Melboring in June seemed like a sensible start. Of course prices in Aussie major cities are quite close to USA really especially for accommodation. That is before you factor in the exchange rate of course. Mind you , could stay in Las Vegas in a great room for same AUD as Sydney or Melbourne. Just have that pesky 14 hr flight and US customs and Showgirls knocking on my door at 3 am to deal with 🕺🏻.You could even argue crime is certainly on the rise in Melboring but as with USA some common sense usually is all you really need. You cant even grow sugar cane in the suburbs anymore due to the draconian machete ban @betootaadvocate

Part of logic also is to try and maintain Qantas FF Silver status although with limited future travel plans not sure why . So a return trip to Melboring in June in BC and another to Sydney in September will achieve that. If I get to keep my business fares of course. 🤞

Staying at usual go to in Melboring – The Langham at Southbank. Weather forecast for first few days is not great but you know what they say about Melbourne weather. Its crap. Got a good deal with Qantas Hotels with daily breakfast and a bottle of champers on arrival – at hotel not airport I assume 🤓 Of course will see what actually is the deal when arrive. At this stage just hope still have my BC seat on way down as have been shafted before and not in the good way. Will wear long sleeves so dont look like a gang member. Last gang I belonged to was the Pathology We Aint Working at Hervey Bay Pal back in the late 90s. No tatts just attitude….

Of course as I decide to head south for the winter Maryhole starts to turn on QLD winter days at last . Single digit overnight, clear blue skies and 22 max daytime. Next week it will likely be cooler overnight in Maryhole than Melboring !

Down to Flashman Inc on Friday to grab some clothes and tell CLP the bad news – I am only gone for a week. The Ponderosa is having some internal woody type stuff done for next 3 weeks or so and she will need to be out of house during week so she is heading to Coolum for first week. Think she is just trying to be a little closer to me really . Lovely weather so let’s crank up the first fire of the season

Good run down and easy park had me at airport in plenty of time. Some renovations at Brisbane Domestic but Qantas still has premium entry bag drop and screening so in Business Lounge with just over 3 hrs to fill in and bar is closed 🕺🏻 Must be breakfast time then

Clearly 3 hrs is too long to spend in a lounge with a closed bar. Time for a slow walk. Plane boarded on time and am at the pointiest end of a pointy plane. Group 1 boarding…. But still 17 people lined up as soon as boarding soon sign went up 🤦🏻‍♂️. Have one of those chatty Cathy type flight attendants so even though in first row still waited 20 mins after trolley came out for service. Could fly a man to drink.

So I did. Only did 2 of the trifecta – beer and spirits no wine -because as you age you get wiser. Not sure why mind you with a car booked when I arrive in Melboring

in the category of let’s complain because I can – seems odd on a 2.5 hr flight with lunch no tea or coffee served 😏 Landed on time and good run into city had me decamped on the 19 th floor by 3 pm. Thought I would at least get a room. Boom Boom. Room is fine , just suspect could be a rowdy night, already seen one wedding party on my floor and the hotel is buzzing. Will be glad when weekend is over.

I went for a walk to get some supplies like milk. It is great area but just starting to sprinkle. It is great to be back in an old style hotel with drawers and bedside clock ! Might settle in now with my Champers and a take away easy dinner. Plenty of good channels on the TV. Wonder where that Sheila went to though 🤓

Off to Kyneton tomorrow by train for lunch with John and Lorraine. Guess it can’t hurt to check weather although much the same as Melbourne I guess …….

Help …..👀

Bunsen Burner, Beaker , Alcohol. Check

Let the experiment begin 🕺🏻