Archive for April, 2021

The BunFool

Posted: April 4, 2021 in Uncategorized

Bunfool : Rare creature that only appears in non leap years when Easter follows on immediately from April 1. Characteristics include, but not limited to, propensity to drink too much in a short time and also to rely on BOM when determining Travel Plans more than 17 mins in the future. Scientists, luckily not the assclowns from BOM, had postulated the first characteristic led to the second but extensive research ,over a few beers, indicated it is a learned behaviour that probably requires a vaccine to prevent spread – ergo expect some action around 2525. This confliguration of characteristics does see it as an autosomal dominant trait only prevalent in the male of the species .

If you are very very quiet you can sometimes sneak up on a resting Bunfool but dont startle them or they may spill their drink and turn feral

But first lets go back to the previous Monday when the sun was shining and the birds were singing. With two short weeks ahead the plan was to do a bit extra work on Golf Course which worked in well as minor green renos planned. My mission, should I choose to accept, was to spread out the fertiliser on greens with holes (cores) in them like feeding the chooks. The message didnt self destruct but the coring machine did after 9 holes! An early sign of the type of week ahead. Then Beaverhausen, A. called in the Lockdown and now we had one of the Greens staff marooned in Hervey Bay for rest of week due to an earlier Brisvegas soujourn. So back into my routine of gym, coffee and Tees mowing on Tuesday – only this time with a mask. By now the shoulder and head were recovering well if still in some minor way maybe impacting on the rugged good looks momentarily

Then it was time to prepare for actual return to the hit and fetch caper on Wednesday and try and sneak into the wallets of Beddows and Smails while still trying to play off 8! Luckily I still had my mask on and was able to make a clean get away. Nothing tastes better than free beer. Next time will try it without the mask on

Given the lack of functioning equipment on golf course it was looking like an early arrival at Flashman Inc , No Sunshine Coast HQ was on the cards with pending weather apocalypse approaching. Duly headed down on Thursday morning to help prepare for pending invading horde. Said horde was slowly dropping off one at a time as Friday approached but the usual suspects would be there ready to camp out for a couple of nights. Or not. Hats off to TB for proceeding with the camper van option even though rain imminent. RJER wisely opted for the AirBnB option with two younguns in tow and more bedrooms becoming available by the hour. Settled in on Friday in cloudy but pleasant enough conditions for imbibing. You can never start drinking too early. Or so I thought….

I told Ruby she was too young to drink but dont think she believed me or at least wasnt thrilled

I then told her it was ok to start eating though and everything was tickety boo

A solid few hours then ensued before the next arrivals – ADJG. Always a welcome sight and nothing to do with the case of quality wines he brings. Honest, there is nothing wrong with the $4.95 Sav Blanc we had been drinking as it was also useful for wiping the bird poop of the chairs as more guests arrived. Around now is when things went a bit south temporarily. After said few hours of drinking we then started on the good stuff and knocked off 4 bottles that night much to Ant’s Delight/Surprise/Dismay.

Now, everyone knows that nothing can go wrong getting full as a State School hatrack and then going to sleep for a few hours straight afterwards.

The Hostess with the Mostess had pulled up stumps a bit earlier as was strangely stressing a bit about something she usually does standing on her head. I am sure my stumbling in a few hours later didnt interrupt her at all.

Next day dawned dreary and misty. Then I opened my eyes and found the weather outside the same but getting worse slowly. There would be a staggered arrival of guests arriving this morning so in keeping with theme I staggered off to shower for a revival meeting. Well it was Easter and there was some religious stuff floating around – Hallelujah . Time for breakfast and a head count . I was seeing double as sure there were two Flashs around. Both begging it seemed..

It seemed to me the best way to get back on track was some exercise and with no walking available , next best thing was my version of Farm Gym where you use any kids just lying around for exercise

One was keen, one not so much. In hindsight was it really smart to upend a 3 yr old who had recently been on a solid chocolate only diet for preceding few hours? Luckily I had my gym clothes with me

By now the rest of the gang had arrived and time to eat and drink just for a change. As always a lovely spread was on the table as we settled in for a few. Luckily Ant still had a few bottles left – past experience with us counts.

Some of the tribe headed back to Brisvegas under gloomy skies while rest settled for an early evening. By now the Bunfool was in full bloom and after checking my 7 weather apps for next 24 hrs there was one very obvious fact. I had too many weather apps! The general concensus from those who know these things – yes I crack myself up – was that a weather Armageddon was fast approaching and in fact would hit Maryhole first before working its way down the coast to Maplehead. Did the math and figured out best to be home before Maryhole was cut off from the rest of the world. You know, like it has been for last 50 years. Some temporary smarts had seeped in by osmosis and had been rather sensible in the drinking caper so plan was to leave around 530 am on Sunday morning just as light was coming up and deluge not coming down. Of course for Flashie 1 this meant 330 am, quick check of BOM and if clear hit the road.

So got home by 515 am and just in time for Easter Bunny as choccie supply was running low while Blood Glucose heading in other direction. I am told I was not missed until it was time for their morning coffee and suddenly realised I wasnt there to make it. Oh well, at least the Easter Bunny made it to Maplehead

I went to gym just for a laugh and the peace and quiet. As always on Sunday line it up with Sip Coffee opening at 615 am and IGA at 6 am for some milk et al. Duly arrived at 615 am and both places closed still

Headed home , changed and went back out a bit later suitably miffed. As Michael D would say all I want with my coffee is what I ordered and a pleasant smile. Its not too much to ask surely.

A gloomy drizzly day followed but the best/worst was still to come. Luckily the temperature was consistent. Apparently

We had been promised 40-80 mm on Sunday and same again on Monday. My poor bunkers! Then they doubled down and updated the BOM warning Sunday evening for an Ark compliant flood starting that night and continuing until early Monday morning and Maryhole even got a mention. Here is one I prepared earlier – up t0 120 mm expected in next 6 hrs

So, I hattened down the batches and closed the house up and assumed the fetal position on top of sheets in trakkies and T shirt in case I had to swim down the road at some stage. By midnight the quiet was somewhat eerie. By 3am I was just getting a tad pissed off so quickly checked BOM map on phone and ” hey look there is that big blue rain bomb already well off shore and heading to Fiji”! Basically it was a decimal point issue and only out by 2 spots and 100 k ie 1.2 mm actually fell in Maryhole.

As they say fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and it must be a weather forecast. As if had not enough laughs for one day, fuck me slowly if they didnt rehash the map a little and repost it at 6 am this morning as un updated forecast for next 6 hrs now. Meanwhile BOM is clear as a whistle. Youi cant write this shit

Still, it was a wonderful Easter as always. Sadly Jas and boys had a camping trip curtailed by bad weather but at least home safe and dry. Easter of course always is about the kiddies so will leave you with this handsome fella. GS 5 is the one on the right. I hope……